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Hooray for Grand Juries

Joe Horn has been no-billed for sending two criminals back to their homelands in nice wooden boxes.

Deep in his headquarters, the Locally-Famous Bounty Hunter Slash Community Activist is probably sniffing the air... sensing where the nearest camera is, like a bee senses honey.

He sends out his minions to the four corners of the city to locate them.

Locally-Famous Bounty Hunter Slash Community Activist is confused... why is his phone not ringing off the hook from the local media begging for his comment?

Have they found... another screaming face to point their cameras and recorders at?

He must remember to command them to be loyal, to offer him the codes to the GPS units in their vehicles so he may pursue them at his liesure... or risk being branded racists.

Hark! The minions! They return!

The floor of the headquarters is alive with his scouts performing elaborate wiggle-dances that indicate the camera crew positions in relation to the sun.

"To the Tenmobile!"

The Hummer is gassed up on his tax-free charitable foundation's gas card... and he is off to hunt for the sweet nectar of publicity!

(Cue opening credits)


I remember ... about 10 years ago. Q10 went walking up and down the streets in Huntsville with an empty shotgun, racking it over and over for the cameras in protest of some scumbag getting a date with the needle.

Joe Horn, on the other hand - that guy knows how to use a shotgun.

Comments (3)

Scott McCollum:

When I heard the news this evening that Joe Horn was acquitted, this blog was where I went for brutally honest and witty analysis.

As always, I got EXACTLY what I wanted. Awesome!

SK:

I'm an idiot.

Looks like there's a press conference going on at 3PM.

I wonder if Q10 freaks out when photographers have to "white balance" the cameras.

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