This Blog Is Full Of Crap

I'm intrigued by this whole thing about a Palestinian baby getting an abortion-by-Qassam this past week:

Hamas said the baby, Malak Karfaneh, was killed and three other civilians were wounded in an Israeli strike on Beit Hanoun, a northern town where Palestinians often launch rockets at Israel.

Bah. Who cares what those bloodthirsty cocksuckers say happened? Let's hear the real story:

But local residents said one of those rockets fell short and landed in the area of the baby's house.

Knowing the Palestinians, even that story isn't true. Baby probably died while Velcro-strapped to a rocket launcher after having been handed to the launching team by an all-too-willing, gung-ho parent wanting the Arab equivalent of Baby Einstein - teach em fast and teach em young.

So, here's my question - does this baby get 72 virgins?

Is Paradise a place where 72 virgins molest a baby for all eternity? Or a baby molests 72 virgins?

I mean, these folks can revere a man who molested a 6 year-old, but waited until she was 8 to marry her, but a baby?

Even they're gotta have their limits. Even they've got to look in the mirror in the morning, ponder such a thing, and say "What the fuck?"

Now, if you're taking the 10,000 cubit view and thinking "Whoa... 144 tits to suck on!" try to keep in mind that these are virgins. Never fucked. Never pregnant. Probably not lactating.

You, as an adult, probably don't mind that. But from the baby's standpoint, there spooky chicks might as well have a pair of pacifiers in their pockets if they're not spilling the goods, so to speak.

Seriously, folks - if you think too much about the fever-dream that the terrorist trainers and their "moderate" fundraisers subscribe to, it's sick enough at it's core, but it's triple-whammy sicko if you ponder all the implications when fully explored.

Better for the baby that it got wiped out of The Book Of Life early before it suffered the full batshit crazy immersion into what passes for a culture promoting this shit, eh.

I'm actually going to another event at a live music venue in the real world (try not to be shocked).

Ken Gaines sends out the following:

Thursday, March 6 Anderson Fair presents Eric Gerber, Heath Vercher, Ken & Wayne

Doors open at 8 PM. Music starts between 8:30 and 9
Cover is $5

Wayne and I host Eric Gerber, one of the most upbeat songwriters I know who came from Boston years ago to attend the Kerrville Festival and just couldn't leave us. He's now happily residing in San Marcos. We've also got New Age pianist, Heath Vercher, to whom I was introduced by my wife, Sue, in her Second Life persona, Twinkle Fairymeadow. Heath is an amazing player and composer, a great friend, and headed for stardom.

I've heard him a few times in SL, and he's worth the trip to Anderson Fair, folks.

Who's going?

I figured I'd pester Nardo for a snapshot after giving him a few weeks off from Catcam duty...

He's gotten a bit more white around the muzzle and he's spending more time on the bed, although a lot of that is "Demand to be pet and hugged" time.

Once again, the robe was in the wrong bathroom.

Totally my fault.

So I sync up the iPod, pet Nardo for a bit, throw the robe down on a chair and head into the bathroo-

Oops. Robe's in the wrong place again.

Why do I keep doing this to myself?

Apparently, posts on industry blogs drove the creative chief of an ad agency to suicide.

*shrug*

The less advertisers out there lying to the public and twisting the truth with shallow and incomprehensible flashy marketing campaigns, the better, eh.

So, do those blogs have tip jars?

Y'all may have been wondering why there wasn't a story from Elisson this past Weekly challenge.

You know, looking back, the first person I called when Edloe died was Steve.

I wanted to let him know that the cat he'd gone on pilgrimage for to visit was…

It was amusing to watch Edloe's reaction to a reverent stranger.

Food helped.

Never did get a chance to get to Atlanta to visit Matata.

Time's about windows. They only look wide open for what feels like forever.

When they close, it’s too damn fast. That slamming shut jars me to the soul.

(I will record this later, since it is exactly 100 words long)

Wait... Gift Cards can be refused if the company thinks it's in financial trouble?

As more retailers file for bankruptcy or go out of business, more than $75 million in gift cards are at risk of becoming worthless pieces of plastic this year.

"If I knew this was going to happen, I would have used them right away," said Jon Tapper, a public relations executive from Boston who received two Sharper Image cards as business gifts just a few weeks ago. Their total face value is $50.

How long before Visa and American Express start up advertising campaigns saying that they won't go bankrupt any time soon, so don't buy the store brand cards, buy theirs?

Mike McGuff interviews the Garfster.

The important part of the interview is, of course:

I remember Chris Baker read several local bloggers. What is going on in the city? I am sure a lot of people continue to, I do so also. And, if I see it, I am going to say, "Man did you see what Laurence Simon wrote about? He is going nuts on METRO." Well, the fact is, I just said Laurence Simon's name to tens of thousands of people. And, it just flows. So, if you can make sure that the media, not just radio, TV, but also other print journals. Let them know that this is what you hone in, this is your expertise.

Um... I have no expertise. I'm just a clown, eh.

An expert clown, I suppose. But still a clown.

(Who wants to smell my flower?)

R.I.P. Gary Gygax

Yeah, Meryl's a little late with EATAPETA. But not too late.

I won't be setting up peta.isfullofcrap.com this year because, well, there wasn't much response, eh.

I figure folks can just post in Meryl's comments what they're doing and that'll work just fine.

Not sure what I'll do. If anybody in Houston has any ideas, I'm game. Otherwise, I'll just cook something at home.

So, I get an IM... who's got Patrick Swayze in the dead pool?

Um.... I'm not running it this year. And... er...

National Enquirer says he's got some kind of cancer.

Well, at least we won't hear any relevant news from the MSM while he's perfecting a ballet-like leap to kick the bucket. Hollywood Ho! for them.

Great way to avoid tarnishing either Hillary the Tool or Obama the Empty Vessel in their quest to be beaten by John McCain in November while the country's sheep send their pork-gatherers back to DC. Focus on the dying dancerboy, hordes!

Then, I'm asked if I've read the latest from Pajamas Media.

Huh? What? Where? How?

I don't read that site. Just as I don't read Huffington Post. Or Daily Kos. Or Instapundit. Or even LGF.

Just echo-chamber noise or half-cocked opinion.

Then, I get the start of a sales pitch.

No. Really. Shut the fuck up, Allison.

(block)

Ahhhhhh... precious, sweet silence.

Anyone want to bet that this was an Iranian experiment in biological weapons to destroy Israeli agriculture gone amok?

A dangerous new fungus with the ability to destroy entire wheat fields has been detected in Iran, the United Nations Food and Agriculture Organization (FAO) reported today.

The wheat stem rust, whose spores are carried by wind across continents, was previously found in East Africa and Yemen and has moved to Iran, which said that laboratory tests have confirmed its presence in some localities in Broujerd and Hamedan in the country?s west.

Up to 80 per cent of all Asian and African wheat varieties are susceptible to the fungus, and major wheat-producing nations to Iran?s east ? such as Afghanistan, India, Pakistan, Turkmenistan, Uzbekistan and Kazakhstan ? should be on high alert, FAO warned.

?The fungus is spreading rapidly and could seriously lower wheat production in countries at direct risk,? said Shivaji Pandey, Director of FAO?s Plant Production and Protection Division.

He urged the control of the rust?s spread to lower the risk to countries already impacted by high food prices.

Iran has said that it will bolster its research capacity to tackle the new fungus and develop wheat varieties that are rust-resistant.

(Overheard in a biological research facility in Southern Iran)

"Hrm... infidels in Uganda and Kenya are suffering some kind of plague from Allah upon their wheat fields."
"Shall we spend our massive oil wealth upon research to benefit humanity to slay this horrific demon-scourge upon our species?"
"What... Israel?"
"Well, duh. Is there any other demon-scourge out there?"
"Okay, I'll pick up some spores and we'll cook something up to huck at those damn Yids."
"Just make sure when you huck it, you just hit the Jews. We don't want anything bad to happen to our crop of bus-bombers down there."
(Both laugh)
"Right - fuck 'em all with a side of pita bread."
"Oh, while you're down there, pick up a few twelve year-olds. I'm feeling frisky."
"Boys or girls?"
"Does it matter?"
(Both laugh)

I'm sure it will be an agenda item at Durban-2 and a sermon by Louis Farrakhan.

So, it costs local communities a hell of a lot of money to prosecute and jail illegal immigrants?

Counties along the Mexican border from California to Texas are shortchanged millions of dollars a year in costs related to prosecuting and jailing illegal immigrants, according to a study released Wednesday.

The study was conducted by the University of Arizona and San Diego State University on behalf of the United States/Mexico Border Counties Coalition, a group representing the 24 border counties.

Cumulatively, the counties spent $1.23 billion from 1999 to 2006 to process illegal immigrants in the justice system, the study found. Federal programs only offset a fraction of those costs, and often did not receive the maximum level of funding that they are authorized to receive, the study said.

I'm reminded of the attempts by Americans and Israelis to get compensation out of the duties and taxes withheld by the Israeli government on behalf of the Palestinian Authority. Every time a Qassam wastes a house or a school or kills or wounds someone, take it out of the revenue or the aid that Bush and Condi keep whoring out to these terrorists in suits.

So, localities are always yammering off about condemning various wars or "impeaching" or charging national government figures with crimes, right?

Well, why not go truly idiotarian on an international basis?

Sue Mexico, win the judgments, auction off consulates or embassies on your soil if they don't pay up.

If the Feds balk at your causing an international incident, they should have acted when it was just a national one.

Or better yet, put a surcharge on local services provided to Mexican institutions or nationals present in your locality when their fellow citizens drive up the cost of living due to their hijinks.

"We really don't mean to put you out, but one of your cohorts is acting like a schmuck and we need to get this tab paid. You're welcome to take it up with your home government, though. I'm sure they'll be glad to solve this for you."

And then tack the cost of three hots and a cot on to their sewer bill.

Yet another Hollywood Celeb blithering openly...

And of course, no trip to Washington is complete without some political chatter. Hanks, an Obama supporter, said, “I wish the election was being held tomorrow. I’m bored!”

Yeah, because it distracts the press from vomiting up more Hollywood news, covering more premieres, more gossip, more scandal, etc. instead of things that might actually affect their lives.

Thanks, Tom. Go back to your dressing room, please. And feel free to post your thoughts on tomhanks.com so people can go there to see what you think if they truly and deeply give a rat's ass.

Clear the airwaves, Woody. The public interest and upholding the public trust needs a little more bandwidth.

Instead of having any relevant notices or information, the four video projections in front of the call center have cartoons, famous people born on this date, stats that don't really help us do our jobs, and other nonsense.

So, to improve things, the display feeds now rotate once every few minutes.

If I look up, I will see one of four screens, one of which is the stats for a different department.

Pure genius, man. Pure genius.

The network center folks have displays showing them up-to-the-minute failures and issues. They toss our emails that occasionally I'll notice in my dozen-or-so-windows on the desktop.

*shrug* Whatever.

Hey, how about a slideshow of great works of art? Been meaning to catch up on Monet and Renoir.

I wake up, I go in to work, I get done what I can, I take breaks when I need them, and I go home and live my life.

More KHOU Spam in my inbox marked as BREAKING NEWS:

GREEN BAY, Wis.-- Retiring Green Bay quarterback Brett Favre is holding a news conference in Green Bay to discuss his retirement. KHOU.com will carry it live at 11:30 a.m.

How the fuck is this Breaking News, KHOU? How the fuck is this relevant to the people in this city?

Even if you thought that his shit's relevant, the actual news event has already happened.

Hick athlete plays ball.
Hick athlete goes pro.
Hick athlete gets a shitload of money.
Hick athlete wins a shitload of games.
Hick athlete retires.

There. He's retired.

Story's over.

The fact that he wants to talk about it, that's not news. That's Oprah or Larry King.

Guys, your news judgment went out the door with that Casey chick or something?

Quit ringing the fire alarm for stuffed-up toilets.

At 12:31PM, they send:

The National Weather Service has issued a tornado watch until 6 p.m. for Southeast Texas.

Now that's breaking news that, if I didn't know, could get me hurt or killed.

Not this Brent Favre/Patrick Swayze/Oscars/Rockets Win 16 bullshit.

After giving a Nardo a rest from the trials and tribulations of stardom, the catcams are back online.

And I'm testing HTML-on-a-Prim in Second Life using the catcams:

META REFRESH appears to be working, so the summary display will update automatically every 30 seconds on the top of the tower.

Cool, eh?

If you look back at the archives of this site, METRO's Q-Card readers were horribly inconsistent with regards to Daylight Savings Time.

Never did get a straight answer from METRO, so it could have been:

• The drivers didn't give a shit.
• The programmers didn't give a shit.
• Management didn't give a shit.
• The vendor didn't give a shit.

On one hand, I'm curious as to whether the Q-Card readers will be set correctly across the board for Daylight Savings Time.

On the other hand, I don't have to transfer any more, so when any of those four don't give a shit, I'm not going to be losing another buck because of it.

I missed the 53 by a few seconds yesterday, but I saw the 18 coming and thought "What the heck?"

I got on and enjoyed the view along Allen Parkway, Post Oak, and Upper Kirby.

Then, I got out at the stop I used to wait at when the office was on Kirby for... that's right... the motherfucking 9.

Sure enough, the 9 was late and full. So, I got to enjoy the drizzle of rain because METRO and Houstons think an uncovered bench is good enough for that corner.

Got home at 4:30, which was 20 minutes later than I would have gotten home if I had waited for the next 53. Upper Kirby being jammed up is to blame, I figure.

Well worth the experiment, I think. And I got to enjoy the view of the park as opposed to Lake 59.

I was testing some HTML-On-A-Prim stuff with Second Life, firing up the catcams, when I noticed a cat on the patio.

It was the Interloper Tuxie, rolling around on a pile of catnip I left out there for Nardo yesterday.

I sat and watched the Tuxie roll around for about 10 minutes, and I tapped the glass to let the cat know I was there with a tap on the glass.

Every so often, the Tuxie would peer at me and get suspicious, but would return to the happy rolling-around.

Nardo was, of course, on the bed, so he wasn't his usual jealous howl and screech puffed-up self.

The old wireless Hawking camera looks like it's ready to give up the ghost. I probably won't replace it... it's done what's been asked of it over the years, even if it's been coming apart at the seams now and then and locking up.

There's not much call for it up on the fence on the weekends, since Nardo rarely leaps up there to sun - that was Piper's favorite spot on the weekends and evenings.

In its semi-retirement, I'm not about to point it at the litterboxes or, considering where Nardo is most of the time these days, at the bed.

It'll still point at the patio, I reckon.

Palestinian Media Watch offers up yet another in a huge pile of smoking guns unquestionably showing the Palestinian Authority and Mahmoud Abbas be be bloodthirsty terrorists and nothing more:

Mahmoud Abbas's official Palestinian Authority daily newspaper has honored the killer of the eight high school students gunned down this week with the status of Shahid - Holy Islamic Martyr. In so doing, the PA is sending its people a straightforward message of support for the terror murders and the murderer. According to the PA interpretation of Islam, there is no higher status that a human being can achieve today than that of Shahid.

The official PA daily Al Hayat Al Jadida prominently placed a picture of the killer on the front page, with the caption, "The Shahid Alaa Abu D'heim." In a Page One article on the terror killings, his act is again defined as a "Shahada achieving" action.

Abbas himself is proud to have "fired the first shot" and tacitly sanctions terrorist in a recent interview, too.

Why does Bush keep wanting to shake this terrorist's hand?

This man who stood in the Rose Garden and "uncompromised by terror" has become, six years later, a fucking joke.

Ugh.

Add me to the list of people counting down until he's out of DC. The man's going balls-to-the-wall to create some kind of sick legacy build on the graves of Jewish women and children, and Sharon's toothless watchdog is helping the bastard.

Apparently, human rights abuses aren't enough for the Chinese Communists, so they need to massacre cats, too.

Lovely people, they are.

John McCain plans on visiting Israel next week.

Is this just an empty stunt, like Bush's visit in 2000 turned out to be?

Unless McCain commits to moving the Israeli embassy to Jerusalem and cutting off all support for the Palestinian Authority until it acts against terrorist (aka - destroys itself), I don't think you could find a more cynical soul than mine.

More rain on the horizon, coming this way.

Sometimes, I like the rain. Other times, I don't.

It depends on where I am and what I'm doing.

If it's one of those sideways rainstorms Downtown while I'm standing at a no-walls METRO stop Downtown, that's probably the worst. That's one of those "I wish Frank Wilson was standing here so I could kick him in the nuts over and over again until I break my foot." kinda times.

We'll see what kind of rain it is today.

Whatever the rain, it'll be amusing to watch Nardo get all hinky with the rain. He doesn't run and hide like Frisky and Piper did, but he does get really, really weird.

When the rain's gone, he goes outside like he's some kind of brave explorer, heading into the jungle for the first time.

Such a dramatic cat, he is.

When the candles realized they were on Chuck Norris' birthday cake, they gave up and blew themselves out.

Nardo decides to have a private moment with you, the audience...

He's staring out the window now.

After all these years, he still thinks birdies and squirrels are interesting.

Can't blame him. They are neat to watch.

I got a note in my mailbox about protests against the consulate on Friday.

Apparently, some folks want to show solidarity with the hordes passing out candy and shooting their guns in the air after one of their own slaughtered innocent seminary students last week.

Will someone explain to me how a blockade is a part of some greater genocidal campaign when the supposed victims have:

• Flags to burn
• Guns
• Cars
• Candy
• Rockets
• Television and radio stations
• Billions of dollars of foreign aid pouring in
• Weapons supplied by the State Department and the CIA

Compare that to the Darfur situation, where an actual genocide is taking place against black Muslim Africans, conducted by Arab Muslims.

Tum tee tum tum... let's all sit on our hands... tum tee tum tum... (It's stupefying to think George Clooney is right about something, folks)

I read the note twice... they mentioned the 14th and 15th... after Friday prayers... 7:30PM...

Yeah, that makes perfect sense, protesting a location after everybody's gone home for Sabbath.

So, on top of everything else, they're also schmucks.

I say let 'em tie up traffic and piss off all the folks trying to get to the movie theater.

Houstonians love when people fuck with traffic flow.

What do you think Nardo is looking at?

I think he's watching flying toasters.

A champion long-distance runner won't be going to China because of:

a) Protesting human rights abuses
b) Protesting environmental abuses
c) Protesting the mass slaughter of cats and dogs
d) None of the above

How long before this is canceled?

Come on, KHOU. Save your audience the misery and just start pumping carbon monoxide into their homes instead of this garbage, okay?

Thank God at some point my mother wasn't like this.

(Oh, and while I'm at it, I should probably thank my mother, too.)

Especially if Woody Williams keeps this shit up:

Williams allowed eight earned runs in three innings, and Astros manager Cecil Cooper said Williams and his spring ERA of 15.26 was on his mind.

“I am getting a little concerned,” Cooper said. “They hit some good pitches, but they also got too many good swings off of him. I have to start keeping an eye and the clock is ticking. We don’t want to go in another direction and we want to give him every opportunity.”

Williams was 8-15 with a 5.27 ERA for the Astros last year. He said he was as frustrated as anyone.

“If a day like today has anything to do with my future then I don’t think about it.” Williams said. “In my opinion, it is out of my hands.”

Believe me, Woody. We're hoping that the Astros are out of your future too.

Could you do everyone a favor and just stay in Florida?

I hear it's nice there.

Just as the Chris Burke/Hunter Pence situation last Spring was a test of Tim Purpura and Phil Garner that they utterly failed, I think that Woody Williams is going to be a good litmus test for Cecil Cooper's willingness to face reality.

Or, failing that, Ed Wade's ability to rub Cecil's nose in reality and get rid of bleeding wounds in the 40-man roster.

Justin noticed that the worst quarterback in the NFL isn't content to ride Charley Casserly's welfare program and HEB's stud-fees for the rest of his life:.

Eli Manning and the New York Giants have a new backup quarterback.

David Carr signed Wednesday in a move that gives the Super Bowl champions an experienced backup who like Manning was a No. 1 pick overall.

This is how Parity works, kid: you win the Super Bowl, you get hobbled with a sack-magnet so that the cellar-dwellers get a fighting shot at you.

This one was pointed out to me this morning:

Which is more shocking:

• METRO getting this wrong

• LULAC not noticing this and suing for millions of dollars

Now don't get me wrong, I'm firmly in the English Is The Official Language Of The United States camp, but screwing these folks out of a month of monthly pass use is pretty low.

But then, what do you expect from Frank Wilson and his greed-circle, right?

Islamic Jihad has four job openings in Bethlehem.

In the evening, a team from the Israel Police's elite Yamam counterterror unit raided Bethlehem and killed four Islamic Jihad gunmen. The Shin Bet (Israel Security Agency) said the four had constituted the leadership of the terrorist group's armed wing in the city. When the men's bodies were inspected, they were found to be carrying rifles and pistols.

Hopefully, the IDF and Yamam can kill 'em faster than Islamic Jihad can fill 'em.

(And if you're playing Palestinian Poker, that's a four-of-a-kind.)

Richard Justice defends the Woody Williams trade made by Purpura.

He states this:

There simply was no way to know that Williams would have the worst year of his career and look like a guy with nothing left.

Check the comments for Darin blowing Justice out of the water with the raw numbers.

If the Chronicle pays this guy to be consistently and obstinately wrong about everything on his beat, kinda makes you wonder about everybody else drawing a paycheck over there, eh?

Hold on... I take that back... I'm just as guilty of hyperbole as old Dicky J there... my bad...

At least the paperboys manage to toss the dead tree edition on the porch every now and then.

Sure, it's guilt-by-association, but Obama's glowing praise for and tutelage under this guy speaks volumes.

After all, didn't Mitt Romney get shit on for being a Mormon? And Joe Liberman being shit on for being a "dual loyalty Jew" for his running an an independent after the primary was rigged? (Feel free to say the opposite about the unseating of Cynthia McKinney twice by outsiders, but she'd alienated enough of her constituency and didn't have the support of Georgia's 4th District to the point of being able to win as an independent in either case.)

In digging for mud to sling at the candidates, has the press has finally come up with something that bears further examination? Or was this something so outrageous, they found that they'd lose all credibility if they whitewashed this along with everything else in Obama's closet?

Some follow-up thoughts: this fucking sucks.

You heard me right.

Yeah, this guy's been groomed and the skids have been greased for 25 years to get him into this position by every fixer with or without a pulse in Chicago. And I'm sure that the local press has been reminded time and time again that they could have garbage delivered to their homes if they spoke a single bad word about The Man Who Would Be King over all this time.

Black, White, Green, Orange, Yellow, Plaid WHATEVER THE FUCK...

McCain's dirty.
Clinton's dirty.
Obama's dirty.

They're all dirty, smooth-talking mass-marketed bullshitters surrounded by scary, deranged fanatical creeps who do their best to keep the pristine images intact long enough to get their mealtickets into office.

I guess the only hope anybody has is that there's enough of these pukes at the upper levels so they cancel each other out.

Okay, so I make myself some popcorn and spill it all over the carpet.

I'm a geek. I like to see things work.

So, I get out the vacuum and start sucking up all the popcorn, and it's really neat.

Then, it jams up.

I dig out the jam... but forget to turn off the vacuum.

1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10.

Okay,. Whew.

Just a little blood. But nothing permanent.

This time.

Daily Mail is giving Patrick Swayze shit for smoking while undergoing pancreatic cancer treatments.

Perhaps the Daily Mail ought to look at the survival rates and think twice about judging the guy for his "smoke 'em while ya got 'em" attitude.

And then, like, cover real news for a while.

Stories for the 100th 100 Word Stories Weekly Challenge are due tonight.

The subject is cake. And there's prizes, eh.

This is awful news:

Houston Astros pitcher Wandy Rodriguez left Friday’s Grapefruit League game against the Detroit Tigers after throwing just two pitches.

The 29-year-old lefthander walked off the mound in obvious discomfort. He was diagnosed with a strained left oblique and is listed as day-to-day.

Rodriguez went 9-13 with a 4.58 ERA in 31 starts with Houston last year. He is 28-33 in three seasons, all with the Astros.

Or maybe it's good news - will Woody get another start or two to further bury his chances to fuck up the 2008 season for the Astros?

It's been a while, but I've put on a few pounds and I need to get some walking going...

I think I will walk to the Clear Channel building and hang out with my buddy Garf for a while.

It'll be good to catch up with him, because that's been the highlight of my weeks - catching up with Garf, bringing some joy and cheer to the corner of the world we're in.

Join us in our mirth at the live stream at 11AM Central Time, or hang out in the video chat room at hightechtexan.com.

Come on. It'll be fun!

The 100th Weekly Challenge for the 100 Word Stories Podcast is up.

Thanks to everyone who participated in this crazy episode as well as everyone who's been a part of the community of creepy and crawly writers for the history of this podcast.

It is a pleasure to grind these goofy stories out day after day, knowing that at the end of the week, I get to be the first to hear the nutty stuff everybody else bang lightning through and bring to life.

Obama's hate-pastor Jeremiah Wright Jr. is taking a hike from the campaign.

I refuse to refer to such a loathesome, deranged, and hateful man exploiting the masses in the name of God as "Reverend."

As for Obama's claims that he just heard the love and praise Jesus and all that happy horseshit, well, it's only a matter of time before someone unleashes The Smoking Pew and puts Obama's butt in it at the same time as one of these sermons.

A nuclear superpower just massacred a bunch of civilian protesters this past week who only wanted to live side-by-side with their neighbors in peace.

Boycott!
Wipe the country from the map!
Drive them into the sea!
Kick over headstones and spray symbols on their cemeteries!
Establish a day of solidarity with their enemies!
Give their enemies billions of dollars in aid and weapons!

Oh. Wait. It's just a bunch of Tibetans killed by Chinese.

Not Jews killing Palestinian terrorists with willing human shields to hide behind.

Never mind.

Carry on.

The Organization of Islamic States once again trumps the Arab League with threats against the West for its crazy concepts of Freedom of Speech.

It's okay to defame Judaism and Christianity in many of these countries, but if you make a comment about Islam, well, you won't have to worry about headaches anymore... or shaving... or breathing...

(Via Podcast Pickle)

Podsuck jacks a third of it's staff:

PodShow, the San Francisco-based online-video network best known for launching the career of CNET's Natali Del Conte, is laying off about 20 employees, or as much as 30 percent of its staff. "There are no secrets, only information you don't yet have," is the slogan for former MTV VJ Adam Curry's podcast. Curry, a PodShow cofounder, didn't show up to deliver information about the firings; we're told he left that to middle managers.

Every year, I see how many episodes of Adam Curry I can stand before unsubscribing from him.

All it took was a week this time around.

You know, a while back, someone mentioned something about helping me get a contract through these folks.

Why would I want a contract/sponsorship from a service I don't use because it's a pain in the ass to use?

Plus, they have a contract with the sanctimonious grouch P-Dub, the guy who's overwhelming grinchery convinced me to ask The Night Guy for the great background and theme music I still use to this day.

Why would I want to associate with that organization, eh?

Old one was acting bizarre, and the clips holding the bread pan were loose.

So, we went shopping and it took 3 stores to find a single model: The Breadman Pro.

It's a round unit, but a horizontal pan.

Did a test run with Shiner Bock Cheddar last night and it came out great.

Plus, it takes less counter space.

(I think this is Bread Machine #4.)

Obama's church is pissed off that their tax-exempt demagogue is getting raked over the coals:

The Chicago church attended by Sen. Barack Obama (D-Ill.) issued a statement Sunday contending that coverage of his pastor’s inflammatory remarks amounted to character assassination and “an attack on … the history of the African American church.”

Obama distanced himself from inflammatory comments by the Rev. Jeremiah A. Wright Jr., retiring pastor at Trinity United Church of Christ, after they circulated on YouTube last week and were played repeatedly by cable news channels.

Wright, condemning society as racist, said, “God [expletive] America” and referred to the “U.S. of KKK-A.”

The statement begins: “Nearly three weeks before the 40th commemorative anniversary of the murder of the Reverend Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., the Reverend Dr. Jeremiah A. Wright Jr.’s character is being assassinated in the public sphere because he has preached a social gospel on behalf of oppressed women, children and men in America and around the globe.”

If Wright didn't want his statements claiming that the government was behind 9/11 and the infection of blacks with the AIDS virus made public, he shouldn't have made them.

The fact that he was Obama's preacher and on the campaign put him in the spotlight, and he used that spotlight to stump for Obama.

For him and his followers to whine that the light was exposing him to be a rancid, hateful bastard is arrogance, and to whine that it's a racist attack when it is not is, in itself, a racist attack in itself.

I'm pondering the concept of wandering the Houston Downtown Tunnel System to find every breakfast nook and sandwich shop that sells croissants.

Then, on Good Friday, walking from location to location in a loin cloth, stigmata, and dragging a large wooden cross around and ordering said croissants.

I suppose I don't have enough time to scout this project this year, but I certainly think it would make for interesting video.

Woody Williams got his ass kicked again:

Both starters had trouble. Woody Williams gave up nine runs in four innings for Houston and Chad Billingsley allowed six runs in five innings for the Dodgers.

It's so bad, it's got Richard Justice all crazy:

I actually have no idea what I'm talking about here, but I'm going to try to sound like I know.

That's should be his blog's tagline.

Heck, that should be the tagline of most blogs, eh.

The Palestinian Authority has called for an invastion of Israel to coincide with the 60th anniversary of its founding.

Of course, it's not going to be a violent invasion used to cover the passage of terrorists like Hamas' long-planned attack on the border of Gaza with Egypt...

To ensure international backing, the plan calls to invite world leaders, the UN secretary-general, journalists and legal experts from around the world to declare their support for the Palestinians' "right of return." The Palestinians, in return, would promise to practice their right peacefully and to denounce terror and violence.

The Palestinian Authority and Palestinians in general have done nothing to prevent terror attacks on Israeli civilians up to this point. Why should they be taken at their word for this bum's rush of the borders?

Those that take them at their word, well, ponder why they would do such a thing.

I walk by One Shell Plaza nearly every day.

There's 4 flagpoles facing the West at City Hall.

Sometimes, there's 2 flags out there.
Sometimes, there's 4 flags.
Sometimes, there's no flags at all.

Is this some kind of signal from Shell to the Mayor's Office and City Council using Base Four?

CODE SIX! CODE SIX! BREAK OUT THE SCRATCH-OFF CARDS AND MARIACHI BANDS! BUILD STADIUMS!

So long, Sir Arthur, and thanks for all the books.

I never used to like hot mustard at Chinese food take-away places.

Now, I collect the packets to dip my raw veggies in for snacking.

It's weird, realizing that my tastes in food change over time.

I mean, I used to like cottage cheese with dill in it. Now, I loathe it.

Biggest change is iced tea. Avoided it like the plague before.

Now I drink it in mass quantities.

Lemon, lime... raspberries or mint leaves.

Things are looking good for Chadley:

Brandon Lyon (RP, Ari) – Lyon is losing the battle to be the closer in Arizona with a poor spring. He has a 12.60 ERA in five innings and hasn't struck out a single batter. Tony Pena is seen as the trendy favorite, but Chad Qualls is even making noise in this closer battle. Qualls has a 3.00 ERA with five strikeouts in six innings this spring. Pena has three strikeouts in 4 2/3 innings and a 3.85 ERA.

Meanwhile, Cecil Cooper's getting in touch with his Inner Crapiron by sticking his head in the sand over Woody Williams.

Lovely.

Egypt is torturing Hamassholes:

Dozens of Hamas members who were arrested in Egypt after breaching Gaza's border with Sinai in January are being tortured and held in harsh conditions, a senior Hamas leader said Wednesday.

Said Siam, former interior minister in the Hamas-led government, strongly condemned Egyptian authorities for the continued detention of the Hamas men. He did not say how many Hamas members were being detained.

Siam said Egyptians authorities were ignoring criminal activities along the border, focusing instead on pursuing Hamas members who did not threaten Egypt's national security.

*shrug*

I'm sure that Amnesty International will start boo-hooing for these scum, demanding their release, etc.

Looks like a pus-pocket of Russians is stirring up crap again with the blood libel:

In a shocking anti-Semitic incident on Wednesday, hundreds of blood libel flyers were found posted on homes in the Russian city of Novosibirsk, warning parents to protect their children from bloodthirsty Jews ahead of Pessah.

"Attention, Russian parents," the flyers read, "guard your children as April 2008 approaches, [and with it] the Jewish holiday of Pessah."

The flyers warned that "these disgusting [people] steal young children, draw their blood and use it to prepare their holy food. The children's bodies, they throw in the garbage dumps."

*shrug* Any Russians shouting the blood libel in my face will be shot, allowed to bleed out into collection tubs, and their blood used for... for...

Shit. I don't have any recipes that call for blood.

I guess I left them on my other phone and forgot to back up the files.

My fellow Jews, share your "Russian Baby Blood" recipes in the comments so that I can celebrate Pesach properly.

Iced tea with lime juice.

Carrots, broccoli, and celery sticks.

Ranch dip on a small plastic plate.

You can keep your coffee and donuts, folks.

What healthy things do you snack on while at work?

As if there wasn't enough noise the feeds with peavatars and stripper fridays and other bogosity, now there's this noise.

My response?

@noTeam @allthesegoddamnedstupidassedteams - Eat block and die.

Okay, so my own Twitter stream is random and senseless and weird.

But I don't engage in noise-for-noise's-sake.

Is ze_frank behind this thing? I mean, I can appreciate the absurdity and statement this is making, but I've got enough noise to wade through to find signal.

Thankfully, it doesn't appear that many of the colorteam members are on my follow list.

And if I find any following me that are clogging up my streams, well, they can also eat block and die.

The History Channel is dropping "The" and "Channel" from its name to become "History."

So, do we have to drop "The" and "Channel" from its nickname and call it "Hitler" now?

The Weather Channel has done the opposite. With all of its "reality" shows and documentaries, they're practically dropped the weather from their channel.

Nardo is really enjoying the nice weather...

He also appreciates it when I left him go out to play in the grass.

And, of course, hunt lizards.

In December, my peak was at 242.
Office moved.
Commute was cut by more than a half. Lots of extra time.
More sleep, too.
More walking from bus stop to work and bus stop to home.
Still, I get home earlier than before.
Sit-ups and pushups when I got home.
In February, my low was 219.
Then, the motorcycle hit me, and I couldn't do the exercises.
I also got sloppy with vending machine snack foods.
Well, and tunnel garbage. Damn General Joe's.
Back up to 230.
When I could finally bend my knee right again, exercises and diet returned.
Salads from Murphy's or Painini for lunch, or veggies with hummus or dip.
Back in habit of raw garlic nearly every day on a toast snack.
Currently 224.
And if I stick to this, I think I'm going to be at 200 before I know it.

Today's a cholesterol check day.

I'll find out Monday if I switch meds or go on a lower dose.

Or, if I need to stick with it, and in three months this new push pays off, which I think it will.

Customer wants to update their MX records.

Long-drawn out thread exchange in the ticket.

I scroll up and down.

I scroll up and down again.

Nowhere is the domain needing the MX records updated mentioned.

I can understand a customer doing this.

Their geek nephew says "Update your MX record" or "You need a PTR" and that's all they know to ask for.

But multiple exchanges between the customer and the tech, and they don't realize they need to ask what domain needs the MX records updated?

Wow. Laughing.

Winner.

Just in case you're wondering, Brad Lidge is pitching again:

Closer Brad Lidge threw 19 pitches to five batters in a minor-league intrasquad game Thursday, his first game action since last year with the Houston Astros. Lidge allowed no hits and a walk. The righthander struck out three.

I guess he's ready for the minor leagues then.

Otherwise, they'd better clear Philadelphia's airspace, because there's going to be a lot of flying hazards filling it soon.