The Risen Chronicle Jesus has this to say about Big Fifty:
The Astros may wind up acquiring a closer, but rest assured that many folks in the organization are really high on Chad Qualls and strongly believe that he could be a quality closer.
Well, they're certainly high on something there, Risen Chronicle Jesus. They must have finally gotten around to cleaning out Phil's and Tim's offices, discovering what kept those two coming up with genius moves like "Burke's batting less than a dime and Pence is tearing the cover off of the ball at Spring... LET'S GO WITH BURKE!" or "Morgan Ensberg isn't injured at all. No. Really."
You mocked me for getting a Qualls jersey, World.
I look upon your mockery with pity and scorn.