This Blog Is Full Of Crap

No shadow
No stars
No moon
No cars
November
It only believes
In a pile of dead leaves
And a moon
That's the color of bone
No prayers for November
To linger longer
Stick your spoon in the wall
We'll slaughter them all
November has tied me
To an old dead tree
Get word to April
To rescue me
November's cold chain
Made of wet boots and rain
And shiny black ravens
On chimney smoke lanes
November seems odd
You're my firing squad
November
With my hair slicked back
With carrion shellac
With the blood from a pheasant
And the bone from a hare
Tied to the branches
Of a roebuck stag
Left to wave in the timber
Like a buck shot flag
Go away rainspout
Go away, blow your brains out
November
-Tom Waits

I haven't felt up to writing a Full Of Crap Report for Shire Network News for a while.

I did a commentary at Britney Mason's Popcast over the deification of slut-princess Diana's bizarre canonization by the British Public and American tabloid-addicts, but really - those nerve endings have been burned dead to the point where there's not much point to trying to pop open a Word window and grind another effort out.

Anyway, some kind of rift cracked wide open through the podcast as a result of a conference in Brussels with some unsavory types on the far-right.

After all this time, Little Green Footballs finally linked the podcast, and a meltdown occurred on the server end.

Charles and the Pajamas folks have been a circlejerk of self-promotion, elephants dancing while their smaller members get nothing much out of the whole experience but lag on their sites rife with ads promoting the bigger A-listers, a pittance of cash trickling down from the party high on Olympus.

Every now and then, someone outside of the mutual-admiration society gets linked, coming in the form of a server-crushing avalanche instead of a steady and gradual promotion of those with compelling, interesting views.

As Shire Network News has been all this time.

Whatever. I burned out from it all long ago.

I'll stick to my stories, the Twitter, the SL silliness, and the occasional snarls here on IFOC.

Things look really pretty in the rear-view mirror, don't they?

New social network site out there called SL Scout, because there sure aren't enough, are there?

I've signed up and made a profile.

Yay.

I also went ahead and created a meaningless group called SL Podcasters in there just to see if folks would be interested in it.

"Faster, faster," said the Red Queen.

For those of you saying "I wish I could hear Laurence rant like a moron for three to five minute a day" or "I wish he'd do one of those Bob Newhart one-sided phone conversations with Nardo letting him know what he needs done before he gets home, making the other people on the bus thinking he's telling an 11 year-old kid that he'd better clean up ALL the dead hookers before he gets home." well, your wish is granted.

I've signed up with Utterz.

Yeah, I know. Another goddamned Social Disease site to follow. So I'll put a widget in the sidebar and you can figure out the RSS bullshit for it and all that stuff.

I figured that since we have 700 minutes on our shared cell phone plan and use, like, 50 of them a month, might as well have some fun with the rest, right?

Stay tuned, you weirdos.

In case you have nothing better to do or listen to, I'll be storming the Clear Channel Studios again to pester Michael Garfield (High Tech Texan) from 11:00-1300. Use the Listen Live link on http://kprcradio.com if you're not within broadcast range of some cowtown called "Hyooston Tejas."

I may throw out an Utterz or two comment while in the studio. And, if the workstation is workstationing, I'll hit meebo.com so people can instant-harass me while in the studio.

The Starbucks had better be prepared to serve me some holiday-themed caffeine beverages.

Can't wait for the Mocha Mint Maccabe special.... mmmmmm... it's Temple-tastic!

Two new teasers have been posted to the Space Casey website.

Listen, or I'll... I'll... I'll have you rendered into bitca feed!

You thought Pakistan was a democracy?

Hah.

Next thing you know, y'all will call it a partner in the War On Terror.

(So, folks, how are those elections going in Lebanon?)

Does anybody out there realize there's an election next week?

You know, like City Council? Mayor? That kind of thing?

Bah. Whatever.

METRO runs this town anyway, slushing funds to the Museum District and rail boondoggles, making propaganda videos and funding overpaid bootlicker bloggers.

Hey, when do we get to vote for all new members of the METRO board?

They collect taxes, right? So we can vote them out of office, right?

Heh. Right.

OPEN LETTER TO BILL WHITE:

Don't waste public funds throwing a victory party or inaugural ball.

Pump all that money back into the community.

If you're going to waste that money on yourself, get a facelift or something.

I bet Joe Agris has got some free time since his #1 client stopped coming by for his monthly nip-and-tuck.

First, it was 9/11.

Now, it's OJ:

Federal agents learned three weeks in advance that O.J. Simpson and a memorabilia dealer planned an operation to retrieve personal items Simpson said were stolen from him, according to FBI reports obtained Friday by The Associated Press.

Nothing's changed. The FBI still can't act on the intel that lands on its doorstep.

What else did the FBI know about, but didn't have the communications infrastructure to alert itself into action?

You know, I bet that whole E. coli scare with peanut butter and spinach was their fault too.

The shuttle crew has repaired the space station's solar array, meaning that a future mission to launch a set of space-toilets won't be delayed.

Well, that's a relief. And I'm all for the launching of toilets into space.

Yay, space toilets!

/rant on

Once again, I refuse to endorse any blog for the 2007 Weblog Awards, let alone link to the entire rigged trainwreck that is the voting process.

If you think a blog or podcast is good, either sponsor it or hit the tip jar. Or leave comments and give feedback to that site. Or link it. Or whatever - don't waste your time clicking a bunch of menus pretending you're making a difference by voting.

/rant off.

Reports are that Black Math Experiment's next album really, really reeks.

One hit wonder, folks. So sad. Had such big hopes for them

Wouldn't it be ironic if the shock of Black Math Experiment kills David Arquette?

Well, it looks like Chris Baker just got unpersoned at the... what did I call it back then?

I like the color of blue they painted the elevator lobby wall. The perfect shade. Is it Hooloovoo?

Yah know, ever since I got the mp3-playing phone and now the iPod, I've been listening to Baker a lot less. Got podcasts to listen to, you know. Either I'd catch an hour or two on Astros game days, or I'd check on a podcast now and then.

Those hours? Great as always, and I told myself "Listen more, man."

Didn't. *sigh*

I made an effort to listen to the Baker-Hunt combo... and... um...

I'd rather not relive that memory. I was hoping for something better, hoping that Hayseed was ready for the air (I still couldn't understand why you take people with a face for television and make them radio folks... not that Debra Duncan has much of anything for either) but I guess some combinations aren't meant to be.

The man's meant as a solo act. A class act. A top-billing act.

Connie Chung didn't work for Dan Rather, and didn't work this time.

Like Pat Gray, maybe Chris Baker will put together a podcast until someone picks him up from the discard pile... or maybe he's not really on the discard pile after all?

Who knows? I just have my Saturday walks for exercise, hang out with a friend, and get to gab for a bit on tech and other stuff.

Until that open invite gets torn up, I guess.

*shrug* That would suck. I enjoy those times.

I was at McDonald's today looking for an Asian salad when I noticed something odd:

Double Cheeseburger = $1.00
Cheeseburger = $1.09

Would that make a Triple Cheeseburger = $.91?

Steve Irwin's wife is making the rounds telling any media outlet stupid enough to listen to her prattle that her dead husband predicted his own early death.

Gee, what was his first clue: his pissing off wild animals or ignoring basic safety protocols?

No, really, Widow Irwin - take your prattle and toss it on the barbie.

Put a sock in it, Mrs. Camera Hunter. Your fifteen minutes are up.

"I'm not saying that Apple is secretive, but one way to achieve immortality is to have Apple protect the fact that you're dead with one of their NDA's."

Okay, so my monthly pass ran out and I needed to get a new one, so it was jump off the 102 and head into the Glass Palace of Incompetence and Arrogance to pick up a new one.

This time, I had the cash to pay for it, speeding up the process and avoiding any need to whip out 20 forms of ID and give skin scrapings. Odd, how they don't bother with all that rigamarole when they rob the public of their hard-earned dollars through the sales tax (without representation).

I figure, no way I'll catch the 9. I'm calm. I'm cool. I'm resigned to wait for the next one, that worthless always-late sourpuss old coot barely in front of the next 9, constantly being nudged forward along the route into the end of the line.

Maybe I'll just do the Danger Train to Wheeler and 25 it today...

I grab my pass, stroll out the front door, and I realize the 9 is there at the rail stop, waiting with its door open.

Whoa. Hold the horses, Mildred.

Do mine eyes lie to me?

NINE! RIGHT THERE! LATE, BUT THERE!

This can't be happening. Maybe it's one of a billion 66's, 56's, or other empty non-commuter buses that taunts and tease me, distracting me from I book as I wait for Mr. Always Late Sourpuss.

Nope. It's Early Lady Driver. Right there. With her Nine.

Run, Forrest! Run!

Screw the lights. Run across the street, dash across the wheelchair-eating tracks, and leap on to the bus.

Early Lady Driver saw me coming out of the DTC, recognized the gigantic blue workbag, and waited.

Awesome, man. Pure awesomeness. So shines a good deed in a weary world.

Driver: "Sure beats having to wait for the next one, right?"
Ed: "But the schedule says it'll be here at 5:12." (snicker)
Me: "That asshole hasn't seen 5:12 in his life. With Daylight Savings Time, I'd be surprised if he were here by seven."

iPod back on, the Wall Of Fog embraces me until it's time to yank the cord and flee Frankie's Seatbelt-Free Rolling Deathtrap.

I say count your blessings.
Uncle Guido says count your targets, then count your ammo.

What a wonderful wooooooooooorld.

You know, I'm all for defense attorneys in endless and frivolous death penalty appeals looking for imaginary technicalities considering different careers.

So, how much does being a pendulum pay these days?

Lane... gone
Ensberg... gone
Lidge... gone

The Astros have traded closer Brad Lidge and Eric Bruntlett to the Philadelphia Phillies for three players, including former University of Houston center fielder Michael Bourn.

Good. Long overdue.

Now get rid of Adam Everett.

As predicted, UNIFIL has utterly failed once again:

Hizbullah held its largest ever training exercise near southern Lebanon's border with Israel in preparation for a response to any Israeli offensive, the Shi'ite group's deputy leader, Sheikh Naim Kassem said Thursday.

Sawat al-Balad quoted Kassem as saying that the exercise staged last week involved "enormous and important" maneuvers that were carried out so that the group "won't be caught by surprise."

According to the leader, Hizbullah had acquired a weapons arsenal that was capable of reaching all parts of Israel. "The exercise was unrestricted and was meant to cover all of the territory of the Zionist entity and not simply to strengthen our forces," Kassem claimed.

Utterly pathetic.

Moxie lost Bentley last night.

My best buddy Bentley died last night at the age of 14 yrs 8 months, sitting by my side.

You were there for Bentley.

I still feel the pain of hearing Piper's "Where's Daddy?" call from the other side of the door, down there in the animal hospital overnight emergency room and not staying, the phone ringing two hours later to let me know that we wouldn't be going back to check her into the day clinic.

The worst betrayal possible, I suppose not being there.

Then again, Edloe died in Gina's arms as we were rushing to the emergency room, didn't even get around the corner, and that wasn't exactly a thrilling experience, either.

Anybody have a third option? Cats living as long as their people? Cats not dying at all?

Put me down on the mailing list for the announcement.

You know, Thanksgiving is right around the corner.

I won't be cooking turkey. Nobody to throw the turkey bits to and watch chase after them in a furry flash, snatching them up while the other cats sit stupefied at the spectacle.

Maybe I'll fast, taking the day off and remembering.

Ore I might just cook harm. Or grill some salmon that Nardo and Frisky like.

I won't be eating much of it.

I'm thinking about burying the hatchet with METRO and inviting some of their employees to dinner.

Problem is, if I give them directions, will they think "Westpark" really means "Richmond" ?

A little photo for ya...

Stick it in a hoagie roll and suck on it!

Well, folks... I walked the walk. bucked the Starbucks, and headed on over to High Tech Texan for the show.

Starbucks has Peppermint Mocha Frappucino on the menu now. I order it when it's off-menu, too, but it's good to see it up there.

I'll post updates here. Like:

"... the most people to tune into a broadcast out of Houston was the faked moon landing in 1969."

Heh. Bring it on, NASA!

Disney is retrofitting It's A Small World to raise the water level and lighten the boats because they have been bottoming out, but they deny it's because riders are getting heavier and heavier.

Yea. Right. So does that mean that the Gravitational Constant has changed?

I guess it's easier to kiss the asses of the patrons when they're getting fatter and fatter.

Oh. My. God. (Or as Moo says, ZOMG!)

Napoleon XIV?????

I owned that album, man!

When it got left out in the sun and it warped, I totally cried for a day and a half.

Nowadays, nothing is gone forever. Everything is stored in seven places.

Finding the other six when your hard drive dies, well, that's where the big bucks are.

I believe that anybody who gets an email scam and loses money from it really is better off without their money because they're too dumb to spend it wisely.

Who knows what trouble they could get into if they had it to spend on other things, right?

Yasser Arafat died on 11/4/2004.

They kept a corpse on life support for 7 days.

Whatever.

Still cause for celebration.

Cats get treats.

Texas is last in the nation of percentage of vehicles with vanity plates.

Why?

Because having TEXAS on your license plate is a status symbol compared to all the other 49 states in the Union, plus that worthless shithole Washington D.C.

Nit Noi on Richmond now has Mee Krob on the menu.

It didn't before, but not they have it.

I'm a happy guy. A very happy guy.

It's not as good as Morningside Thai's, sure, but it's within easy walking distance if I'm heading to Best Buy or dropping off from the 25 on the way home.

And you know what they say: there's no such thing as bad Mee Krob.

I recorded a deranged, rambling Utterz.com message when I got there, and then spammer Twitter with my joyous celebration of my first Mee Krob at that location.

I may just have a standing order to pick up from there every week.

Mee Krob - it's what's for dinner.

I was going to blow about Saeb Erekat's psychotic outburst over refusing to ever recognize Israel as a Jewish state because no other nation on the planet links its national identity with a religious identity, but Camera.org did such a fine job of it.

And despite the fact that the so-called Palestinian "Constitution" isn't worth the toilet paper Arafat wiped himself after having himself a good time in Bagdad, Camera points out the glaring hypocrisy:

The Palestinian Basic Law, which acts as a provisional constitution, asserts that "Islam is the official religion in Palestine," and that "The principles of Islamic Shari'a shall be the main source of legislation."

The more recent Palestinian draft constitution similarly notes that Islam will be the official religion of any future Palestinian state.

The fact that Condi Rice is taking lying shitbags like this seriously and allowing them to blight Annapolis with their presence is beyond galling.

Why the Vatican's prelate-in-residence Michel Sabbeh puts on dresses and plays at being Catholic, I dunno, but I'm sure that when Bethlehem is ethnically cleaned of Christians, he'll be kept around as an amusing tourist attraction.

"Yo, Mickey... what's with all the getting on your needs and checking out that rug? There a stain on it? Man, you oughtta move that rug or something, because it feels like you're checking it, what, four or five times a day or somethin?"

Seriously, when this kind of shit hits the headlines, you have to question it and ask "What the fuck is our President so gung ho about them achieving sovereignty and independence when they clearly have no connection with reality?"

And why do the same people who scream "WE ARMED SADDAM! WE MADE SADDAM THE MONSTER HE WAS BEFORE WE TOPPLED HIM!" trying to prop up reality-denying, arms-smuggling monsters like Erekat, Queri, and Abbas who hire on huge numbers of trained killers to their payrolls and then let them loose from their dayjob obligations to launch rockets over the fences?

Tempting to look at the Arafat Anniversary massacres and think "That's just less bullets for them to fire at Jews" but it would be better if there were no bullets, explosives, or weapons in Gaza at all.

You know. Gun control. Like what the WE MADE SADDAM lefty crowd wants for America. Think that'll work over there, too?

*shrug* They'd probably rip STOP signs out of the ground and whack each other with them.

At least the blood won't show on the red.

I fondly remember the day when Chris Doelle announced that he had settled on Nardo as the name for his new orange cat.

Today, after I announced that Nardo was asleep in my chair on Twitter, I got the following message back from Chris Doelle:

@isfullofcrap I had to put my Nardo down today. He was struck by a car. :(

He hasn't posted anything yet on his site, but I'm sure he and Lou would appreciate your condolences.

And then wish him a happy birthday tomorrow... um... and congratulate him for Lone Star Gridiron for getting advertising and support... and... um...

(What does Emily Post suggest for these kind of "You just had to put down your grievously-wounded cat, oh, and happy birthday" kind of moments?)

Apparently, celebrity gossip and television bloggers are saying that they are going to go silent in solidarity with the WGA.

Although the Writers Guild of America 's pre-strike media campaign was criticized as sluggish, the guild's headline-grabbing series of protests last week have managed to attract the sympathy of some viewers.

Seventeen entertainment blogs--among them Televisionary, Give Me My Remote and The TVAddict--will go dark Tuesday, replacing their sites with WGA solidarity statements.

Bullshit. They're just running out of material to write about, so they're just trying to spin this for attention.

If it were the directors striking, they'd do the same.
If it were the actors striking, they'd do the same.
If it were the fluffers, striking, they'd do the same.

Anything for attention when the material is running out.

They'll probably do this a few more times in order to make their remaining material stretch out, or until celebrities waving around picket signs and giving token gifts to the writers they depend on to put words in their mouths start saying incredibly stupid things on their own.

How long is it until Iowa? Celebrities are going to be fighting each other to see who stick their feet in their mouths, mistaking makeup and good lighting for relevance and political understanding.

If the strike grinds on, the gossip-rags will get lots of superficial garbage to put in the hopper once the campaign wagons begin rolling.

Feh.

Usually, Mahmoud Abbas doesn't slip up in public like this:

At a joint news conference with Peres, Abbas said Israel will live in peace if it ends its occupation of Arab lands. "If peace comes and the occupation comes to an end, Israel will live in a sea of peace," he said.

Live in, or driven into?

Look, it's a simple fact of reality that when Shimon Peres shakes hands with foreigners, Jews die. And when he signs things, Jews also end up dying. Heck, I would insist on him paying for something in cash for fear a credit card slip killing a few dozen Jews here and there.

It's good that Peres has been "retired" into a figurehead role, sure, but he's still capable of doing great damage to the only foothold for true democracy in the Middle East.

Let's just check things here:
Mel Brooks still being active and spry in his eighties - good.
Jerry Lewis still being active and spry in his eighties - good.
Shimon Peres - bad.

As for the irony of this taking place in Turkey, a nation with its foot on the throat of any hopes of an independent democratic Kurdish nation, I'll leave it to others to rant, pontificate, and growl over.

"Everybody needs a robot
That's a simple fact of life
Ira Levin even found a way to make one for a wife."
-"Everybody Needs A Robot" by Matthew Ebel

Don't worry, folks. Right now, in a lab in Brazil, ten thousand Ira Levin clones are being grown in tanks.

Taken a look at the Houston Chronicle building recently?

There's a big ad on the South end of the building that says: "Are you ready for today?"

Oh, and the rest of the facade is covered with scaffolding and scrims.

Trying for a Pulitzer in Irony or something?

Word has come down that the move from the Gunspoint office to the Downtown office is happening in a month.

That's at least one hour of my life every day, given back to me from the clutches of METRO and The Ghost of Marsh.

I'm swearing to use at least half an hour of that for listening to podcasts while walking on the treadmill at the apartment complex, maybe lifting some weights now and then.

The NFL used to be about run-kick-pass.

Well, it's heading towards puff-puff-pass again.

How long will he last this time?

If your cat is acting strangely, maybe your cat is trying to save your life?

A cat named Oreo is being credited for nipping a carbon monoxide leak in the bud. Jeanie Probst said her cat began to act strangely since she began using her heater in the past couple of weeks.

"He came out here yelling," Probst said.

Oreo would run in circles under the vent or jump onto the back of a chair, stare at the register and make loud noises, she said.

"It was one of those scary meows," Probst said.

Once the heat would go off, Oreo would act normal again.

I guess this means that our refrigerator is full of deadly and dangerous butter and Parmesan cheese. (according to Frisky's plaintive howls)

What deadly and dangerous things are your cats trying to point out to you?

Was having a Willy Wonka moment just now.

What if they had a scene where the kids took a wrong turn and wound up in a perfectly normal-looking bathroom, but they attack all the fixtures and toilet paper and toilet water and paper towels and soap as if they were edible?

"This soap tastes like soap!"
"Oh, I'm sorry... this is the Employees Bathroom! The candy one is right next door!"
(MUCH VOMITING)

(Via Crawfish Boxes)

Ed Wade decides that San Diego needs some compensation for Ensberg and Lane destroying their playoff run and gives them John Anderson as a consolation prize.

It would have been cool to see if Anderson was another flash-in-the-pan like Luke Scott appears to be, but I guess Ed Wade's demonstrating that the rotation and bullpen are a priority.

Heading to the studio in a bit to pledge allegiance to the Garf of the United Stations of Clear Channel.

I've checked out the new website, and it's very pretty.

As for functional, well, that's what the users determine, right? I mean, I'm not the typical user, even though I've got a few years here and there of QA experience for website. But I think that the best test of interface is up to the public.

I have my ideas on what plusses, minuses, and wow factors they'll hit, but I'd like to see what y'all think.

He'll throw the switch during the show.

When the clock strikes 11AM Texas Time, tune into KPRC 950AM in Houston or hit the website for the Listen Live stream.

Dear Verizon and LG,

Signed,
Laurence Simon

The Palestinians have a policy of obliterating any and all Jewish artifacts during their construction work as part of a campaign to delegitimize historical claims to the territory.

So what do they do?

They get the Turks to shriek that the Israelis are destroying Arab and Muslim artifacts:

The Turkish envoy that visited Jerusalem in March to inspect the excavations at the Mughrabi Gate outside of the Temple Mount has concluded that the work is destroying artifacts from different Muslim historical periods, and called on Israel to coordinate their activities with the Palestinians and the international community, the Turkish newspaper A-Zamaan reported on Saturday.

"The work being conducted by Israel does not abide by the appropriate [excavation standards], and the dig testifies to the fact that Israel is interested in destroying artifacts from the Islamic periods," the report quotes the envoy as saying.

"It is Israel's responsibility to cease their work immediate," the envoy concluded.

But then, what do you expect from representatives that roll out the red carpet for Hezbollah terrorists and threaten anyone who calls their genocide against Armenians and Kurds for that it is?

Go home to Constantinople, you tools.

Tim Brown of Yahoo Sports drinks the Willy Taveras Kool-Aid:

That was it for GM Tim Purpura and manager Phil Garner, who two seasons before had pushed the Astros into their first World Series, but in the end could not overcome the perhaps unavoidable departures of Roger Clemens and Andy Pettitte, or the entirely avoidable departures of Jason Hirsh, Willy Taveras and Taylor Buchholz.

Home Run Hirsh could have stayed.
Taylor Buchholz could have stayed.
Jennings could have stayed away, based on the Adtros' success in Minute Maid Field when Jennings... was wearing a Rockies uniform.

But once again, the moment that Willy Taveras signed with Scott Boras, he was gone. Vamooshed. History. An unperson. Out the door.

After getting manipulated by Boras and the Hendicks Brothers, Uncle Drayton would sooner keep a Boras client on the roster as he'd run his nutsack through the microwave five times an hour.

I've also said that Scott Boras deliberately targeted the Astros center field position to screw with the team. First, he locked up Carlos Beltran, and then he put his shackles on Willy to see if he could drain the Astros' coffers.

I guess Chris Burke was doing a fine job of making himself unwanted in center field in April to merit Boras' disattention.

My Logitech Trackman Wheel has been going south for about a week, so I tossed it in the trash and plugged in the Marble Mouse I had as a backup.

Blech.

I missed the wheel and the thumb-based control so much, I went to Best Buy and picked up another Trackman Wheel.

I looked at other controllers, lasers and cordless and such.

Nope. Trackman Wheel.

Ever gotten so used to a particular tool or interface that you just don't want to give it up?

Do I need to buy a whole stack of these things and keep them in the cabinet in case Logitech "improves" the product line and ditches this old reliable standard?

There was a list of countries on a chart in the latest Time Magazine that had me perplexed.

Some study by some group was measuring and generating a gender equality freedoms index thing, and the Time editors were bemoaning the US decline on this index.

You know the drill: Scandinavian countries all stacked at the top of the list, because they're repressively taxed into submission and equality regardless of gender. (Or the fact that in the blinding winter, men kinda look like women up there)

Islamic/Arabic countries at the bottom of the list because the women are considered property, and it doesn't even include the Filipino servants because they rarely survive long enough in the medical ward (ie basement prison) after they've been savagely beaten for polishing the silverware wrong.

Was North Korea on there? Can't remember, and can't find the chart on time.com anywhere. I guess I need the hardcopy.

Anyway, the paragraph tossed out to explain the list said the US was lower because of a decline in participation in voting/political process.

Not access, with is equal across the board. Anybody can vote who's of age, you know.

Participation.

Apparently, your equal right to display apathy regardless of gender pisses off these European statisticians or something.

I wonder how deep the survey went. Did it just deal with national offices, or were there state, county, and local offices in the mix?

Never mind that the Speaker of the House, Secretary of State, and other important government positions are held by women and more women are achieving political and appointed positions of power every year.

Heck, I was in the same room as Ellen Cohen on Saturday. She beat out Martha Wong for her state representative seat. Not a Y chromosome in that contest. (Unless Martha Wong was tucking back all these years)

Just in case you're curious, the country that was just ahead of the United States was Lesotho.

That's right. Lesotho.

Lesotho is an old South African "homeland" that gained its independence, mostly dirt-scratchers wondering how many children they'll lose to AIDS this eyar. The economy is natural resources-based, exporting water and energy to South Africa as well as dirt-cheap miners wondering if they'll come back in a box or not at all due to a tunnel collapse.

It's not quite the unmitigated hellhole that is Swaziland, ruled by a king who can't figure out if he wants more Lear jets or wives, but still... Lesotho?

It's not hard to be "equal" when you don't have much or have the opportunities to gain much.

Perhaps if the survey took into account all the opportunities that aren't restricted by gender in each country, the numbers would better reflect the US's nickname of "The Land Of Opportunity."

Goodnight, Mr. Whipple:

He will forever be associated with a product people wipe their asses with.

If that isn't immortality, I don't know what is.

Remember when a photographer got shot because his camera looked like a shoulder-mounted weapon and he was in a crowd with folks with actual weapons?

Based on this photographer's activities, kinda makes you wonder if media embeds among terror groups aren't actually just members of those groups...

The US military has filed a formal complaint with an Iraqi criminal court accusing a detained, award-winning Associated Press photographer of being a "terrorist media operative," the Pentagon said Monday.

Geoff Morrell, the Pentagon press secretary, said the military made the complaint about Bilal Hussein, who has been held for more than 19 months without charges in US military custody, to Iraq's Central Criminal Court.

"We believe Bilal Hussein was a terrorist media operative who infiltrated the AP," he said. "MNF-I possesses convincing and irrefutable evidence that Bilal Hussein is a threat to security and stability as a link to insurgent activity."

From the French media stooges who helped fake up the blood libel that was Mohammed Al-Dura to Tom Hurndall the tunnel-smuggler human shield to Hezbollah's army of terror-media called Al-Manar, the use of mass-media technology and techniques by terror operations will continue to expand with all the new developments in the field as well as the increasing gullibility of the mass public.

The MSM has laid the groundwork for anti-American sentiment while rolling out the red carpet for dictators to promote their own agendas (Eason Jordan signing checks to Saddam's regime) or providing employment for "stringers" who turn out to be well-trained members of the AV Clubs of terror groups.

For those among the moonbats that say the camera doesn't lie, well, they forget about the effort put into framing a shot, staging an event, and the entire editing process.

Remember one thing: looking at "their" media stooges as tools of the terrorists isn't prejudice. The true prejudice is wrongly assuming that they're equivalent to the Western media employees who are supposed to be independent observers and reporters who provide an unbiased account of the facts of a new story (but rarely do).

Right up in the breaking news top story list, saw this headline on CNN.com's front page:

Free Hannah Montana tickets make girl cry

Oh, there's video of it, too.

Seriously, CNN, what the FUCK is wrong with you?

Justify your existence, please.

We've seen the end of Ensberg, Lane and Lidge as Astros. We've also seen the dispatch of the Swiss Army Knife that was Brunt.

So, Biggio's gotten 300 and Ed Wade got a chance to look at Burke at second for a bit. Has he made his decision already ?

The Astros announced today that the club has signed free-agent infielder Geoff Blum to a one-year, $1.1-million contract, plus incentives. The deal also includes a club option for 2009.

Does this mean the end of the Chris Burke Experiment is on the horizon?

Perhaps Ed Wade will get brave enough to end the "Let's have a shortstop who can't hit and makes lots of fancy acrobatic highlight-reel plays but just as many errors as any other shortstop" experiment.

Not content with artificially inflating the numbers of Palestinian "refugees" by making the condition hereditary when no other "refugee" population is granted such hereditary status, the United Nations has been inflating AIDS cases as well:

Dr. Kevin M. De Cock, director of H.I.V./AIDS for the World Health Organization, added that it was not clear before late 2003 that the estimates were probably too high.

Love the name.

And the biggest drop in the global figures came from revising the figure for India downward, which was done in July.

I'm sure that China, Saudi Arabia, Iran, and other shame-based repressive societies are vastly under-reporting their true numbers... or the fact that cases of HIV actually exist within their borders.

I shredded up 2 pounds of various kinds of Swiss cheeses for today.

No, we're not having a turkey day here.

Swiss fondue.

I've got to start making the bread for fondue in a few hours. Pumpernickel and Shiner Bock Cheddar are the ones I like to make for this stuff.

If you're worried about tradition, well, the recipe is called Traditional Swiss Fondue, okay?

What non-traditional items are you making for today?

Garf is on the air for the full three hours.

That's the full... three... hours...

I'll fire up the coffee.

How long before one of these collides with an aggressive news chopper over Houston?

Speaking of unmanned drones...

"I wasn't ready to publicize this," Executive Assistant Police Chief Martha Montalvo said. She and other department leaders hastily organized a news conference when they realized Local 2 Investigates had captured the entire event on camera.

"We still haven't even decided how we were going to go forward on this task, so it seemed premature to me to announce this to the media," Montalvo said. "But since, obviously, the media found out about it, then I don't see any reason why just not go forward with what we have so far."

Isn't it neat how Chief Hurtt can launch an Executive Assistant Police Chief drone like that to monitor and keep the public uniformed?

The so-called peace conference is due to take place Tuesday. Saudia Arabia might send someone, but they're refusing to shake hands in front of the cameras or anything that might be considered a photo opportunity for their sworn enemy for life.

Or, more likely, a photo opportunity for their enemies among the huddled masses yearning to breathe free under their dictatorial boots. (Of course, many of those huddled masses want to go on even bloodier jihadi campaigns than their leaders, but that's for another day, right?)

Sure enough, the terrorists-who-are-recognized-as-terrorists are angry at all their fellow terrorists-who-are-recognized-as-state-entities attending:

Hamas expressed dismay Saturday at Arab foreign ministers' unanimous decision to participate in next week's Middle East peace conference in the United States, saying there could be no justification for taking part as long as Israel retains its hold on Palestinian territory.

"The announcement of the Arabs that they would participate in the Annapolis conference was a great shock for the Palestinian people," Hamas spokesman Sami Abu Zuhri, said in a statement. "Participation opens doors for normalization of relations with the Israeli occupiers."

From the Hamas perspective (as well as Fateh when they're talking in the Arab media), all of Israel is Palestinian territory.

So, Israel merely existing means there shouldn't be any talking. Just killing.

Don't ever lose sight of that. When you see a headline about Hamas, remember: Hamas wants to destroy Israel and kill everything within it.

If you see a news piece that suggests anything otherwise, ponder the mindset of that institution or reporter passing along the whitewashing of this terrorist entity.

Folks, instead of pointing cameras and microphones at these Hamassholes, point guns.

Oh, and don't hesitate to pull the trigger.

There was a burp in MySQL and publishing the site ground to a halt. Happens every two years or so with MT, I think.

Yeah, I have backups. And backups of backups. No worries there.

I've decided to take this opportunity to do a clean install, clean set of templates, and keep things simple this time around.

I'll be re-importing a bunch of entries tonight, so stay tuned.

In the meantime, what do y'all want to see here and in the sidebar? (And, no, not "20 entries a day like you used to do!" kind of shit, okay?)

A note to the "You should have a feed without cat stuff in it" folks: GO FUCK YOURSELVES.

One of the very few things I'll miss about the office at Gunspoint is the nearby deli.

They're nice. They're fast. They have a decent selection.

When I want to, I can eat healthy. When I don't, well, exactly how hard is it to eat unhealthy in this country?

In terms of lunches, I have 12 more lunches to go because I eat my last lunch there.

Or pick up my last lunch and take it back to my desk, which I've been doing a lot more often these days.

I wonder if we'll be allowed to eat at our desks in the new place.

Time will tell, I guess.

If you're not willing to take the plunge into Second Life, why deny yourself the pleasure of some of the best music from SL performers?

Thanks to Cher Harrington for running this stream. Haven't listened to as many podcasts recently as I had before.

Perhaps that's a good thing?

Speaking of which, Space Casey is finally out and in the public spotlight. You'll have to listen to the whole episode to catch the glitteirng highlight of the episode: me as Karstoo the Supervisor.

So, what do you think the first note I'll be writing to Christiana Ellis will be?

No, really. Take a wild guess.

Heh.

Thank you, Pat Sajak.

As for this comment:

O.J. Simpson is one of the world’s best-known celebrities, but I can’t imagine anyone following his lead in a voting booth.

It's easier to just wait until he's gone and then follow the bloody footprints.

A kid wanted to name a classroom teddy bear after himself, so the teacher let him.

End of story, right?

Well, in the Genocidal Dictatorship of Sudan, it doesn't.

You see, the kid's name is Mohammed, so the country that's exterminating its Darfurese population through a state-sanctioned mercenary-for-hire program is showing the warm fuzzies by sentencing the teacher to be flogged.

Remember when Ingrid Newkirk of PETA chastised Yasser Arafat for his bomb-throwing, peace-loving minions for using donkeys to transport explosives?

Well, the N.O.W. isn't even doing that:

In the U.S., a spokeswoman for the National Organization for Women said the situation is definitely on the radar, and N.O.W. is not ignoring it.

But she added that the U.S.-based organization is not putting out a statement or taking a position.

Silence speaks louder than words, honeytoots.

Not every feminist is silent on this barbarity, mind you:

Radio personality Tammy Bruce, former president of the Los Angles chapter of the National Organization for Women and past member of their board of directors, criticized the organization for not taking a stand.

“We have a duty to make a difference for women around the world,” Bruce told FOX News. “The supposed feminist establishment is refusing to take a position in this regard because they have no sensibility of what is right anymore. They're afraid of offending people. They are bound by political correctness.”

“The American feminist movement has not taken one stand to support the women of Iraq, the women of Afghanistan, the women of Iran,” she said. “It is the United States Marines who have been doing the feminist work by liberating women and children around the world.”

I guess the N.O.W. hasn't run out of bras to burn so they can move on to the true symbols of oppression on the clothing: burkahs and abayas.

Damn those Chinese for making lingerie by the ton so cheap!

Just in case you've ever been fooled into believing that the United Nations is anything more than a a tool for the destruction of one of its members, the Committee on the Exercise of the Inalienable Rights of the Palestinian People is holding their annual leap into the spotlight screaming for attention.

You know the resolution well, #181. The Partition Agreement.

Divide the region into Jewish and Arab sectors.

Never mind that the same people screaming for "all of the UN resolutions to be implemented fully" ignore the fact that the "Jewish" sector would logically translate into a Jewish state, but they're perfectly willing to scribble o nthe back of some napkins about an Islamic Arab state and call it a proposed constitution.

Better not mind it. You may find your head chopped off in some back alley or a bullet in your back.

So, United Nations, if you're all about human rights and freedom... where's the Committee on the Exercise of the Inalienable Rights of the Chinese People of Taiwan, over 20 million people living under democratic and peaceful rule denied international recognition? (How do you feel about that, MoShang?)

Where's the Committee on the Exercise of the Inalienable Rights of the People of the Western Sahara, abandoned by the French to the totalitarian rule of the Moroccan regime?

Where's the Committee on the Exercise of the Inalienable Rights of the People of Darfur, terrorized and exterminated by the brutal Arab regime of Khartoum?

Perhaps there needs to be a Committee on the Exercise of the Inalienable Rights of the Turkish People of Cyprus, since y'all are all about sticking up for state-backed Muslims with ambitions to conquer partitioned territories lock-stock-and-barrel?

Where's the Committee on the Exercise of the Inalienable Rights of Kurdistan, wiped from the maps and divided up by the disciples of Winston Churchill as spoils of World War One?

You know, Kurdistan. The thing Woodrow Wilson was going to create out of a people with their own language, culture, and national identity.

As opposed to.. to... hrm... a bunch of Arabs flocking to a boomtown frontier that was being created by Jews out of reclaimed desert and swampland which just happened to have a neglected and abandoned "holy place" to Islam that was really just built as an excuse to try to obliterate any remaining evidence of the holiest place to Judaism.

What about Chechnaya? Or the Basque Kingdom? Those groups have gotten uppity now and then to the point of the Russians and Spaniards calling them bloodthirsty terrorists, right?

Okay, so the Chechens get vicious and the Basques phone in their less-lethal letterbombs to let the area get cleared out... we sure saw that in practice when Madrid had some real terrorists take out a few trains.

Okay, so now we've established that the UN has their own form of "chosen people" on their lists, are all of those "chosen people" truly chosen?

No.

Case in point - where's the Committee on the Exercise of the Inalienable Rights of the Palestinian People of Egypt, Lebanon, Jordan, Syria, and Saudi Arabia - places where they've been born and raised, but denied citizenship and basic human rights in the name of those totalitarian regimes "sticking up for their rights as Palestinians to an independent Palestine" as some kind of excuse for their brutal repression.

Nope. You're just being kept in your camps to breed up a nice, juicy population bomb to hurl at the Jews when they're dumb enough to elect someone that'll sign a bad-faith agreement on the part of the Arabs (probably with threat of cut-off of aid by some American administration, mind you) and let the flood gates open... WHOOSH! RIGHT INTO THE SEA, MOSES!

You know, I guess we're kind of spoiled here in America. If you're born in America, you're American. Even if your parents are foreigners, here illegally, and subject to deportation otherwise.

Gotta love the ACLU, ready to sue for the American Civil Liberties of Non-Americans... or Anti-Americans, for that matter.

But over there... over there where you need to flog teachers for falling for those sweet and innocent kids wanting to name a teddy bear after "themselves" ... can't go giving those newborns in the breeding-camps rights as "anchor babies" when they make better political tools... or platforms for carrying explosives into Jewish schools, bus stops, and cafes. Wouldn't be prudent, you know.

Okay, folks. Go ahead and stick your heads in the sand for another year. Wave those Jordanian flags with the stars ripped off and spit on the only democracy in the Middle East, the one country where Arabs and Muslims have the most civil liberties and freedoms and electoral choices of any country in the region.

Stick THAT in your hookah pipe and smoke it, you UNRWAssholes!

Oh, and PEACE!