Dear Yasser,
I am officially retired now.
Man, I haven't had so much fun since I had my twin sister killed for her kidney.
One of the traditions here in the Imperialist States is to fire a gun into the air on New Year's Eve.
You know, like your people fire guns in celebration of various things. Oh, and in protests, too.
Anyway, I went out on my Park Avenue balcony and started firing my gun to ring in the new year.
"Do you have to aim at the people on the sidewalk?" my maid asked.
So I shot her.
Happy New Year, Yasser!
Love,
Kofi