This Blog Is Full Of Crap

It was time to change the sheets last night, and Nardo was ready to help.

Help? I mean hinder.

He was playing Flippykitty on the bed, rolling around and yawning and meowing and kicking and stopping now and then to stare us down.

"Move," I said.

More Flippykitty.

Okay, so we remove the comforter and Nardo deftly leaps from comforter to sheets.

Rolls around happily on the sheet.

Then, we remove the sheet, and sure enough, he's rolling around on the mattress pad.

He watches us remove pillowcases, rolling around happily.

As we put on the sheets and tuck them in, Nardo inspects our work on the corners, but goes back to rolling around happily.

The top sheet is no worry for him... he goes from the uncovered side of the bed back to the newly-covered side.... then walks along the fold. Has yet to drop from the bed.

We roll the comforter back up, but Nardo refuses to budge.

Fine. Comforter goes over Nardo, and there's a Nardo-sized lump in the bed.

I lift the side. "Having fun?" I ask.

He peeks out and meows.

What a goofball.

Next time, I'm taking photos.

Why do Fateh and Hamas keep teasing the civilized world with their constant brinksmanship and stubborn refusal to plunge themselves entirely into civil war?

Three Palestinians were killed Sunday in Gaza gunbattles between militants from the ruling Hamas party and security personnel loyal to Palestinian Authority Chairman Mahmoud Abbas of Fatah, hospital officials said.

Militiamen from Hamas used guns, antitank launchers and grenades to break up police protests over unpaid government salaries, touching off gunbattles.

Dozens of supporters from Abbas' Fatah Party retaliated by ransacking and torching the empty Cabinet building in the West Bank city of Ramallah. The Fatah supporters had earlier marched through the city, the seat of the Palestinian government, burning tires and shouting, "Hamas, out, out."

What kind of wretched, bloodthirsty, and loathesome mentality equates the term "antitank launcher" with "riot control" ?

President Bush just blocked Congress' sanctions against the Palestinians. I'm hoping that he's thinking the more bullets they trade our aid for, the greater the thinning of the violent and fanatical herd among the Palis.

Because otherwise, Bush would have to be some king of outrageous moron for thinking aid of any sort will boost moderates in a cesspool of ever-escalating fanatacism which has only one goal: the destruction of Israel or passive support of elements that work and indoctrinate future generations towards that savage goal.

I've been thinking about the selection of Minneapolis as the location of the Republican National Convention.

Based on the trend of Orwellian "Free Speech Zones" and reduction of protestor presence at major public events under the guise of anti-terrorism measures, you'd think the Republicans would select a city that has an intolerably hot climate in the summertime like Phoenix or Houston or Dallas or Miami or Atlanta.

Let's see someone handle five minutes in an Abu Ghraib shroud standing on a box for five minutes in a Phoenix scorcher or a Hotlanta blast-furnace of a day.

It'll melt the face-painted peace symbols right off of the hippie bastards. They'll barely be able to heft their "End the Zionazi Occupation" signs.

Just stick a little garlic oil or onion essence in the water they put in their misters, and it'll clear the crowds faster that tear gas.

But Minneapolis in the summertime? Okay, maybe the cops and FBI among the riot-control troops won't pass out from the hear in their heavy riot control gear. That wouldn't be a problem if they chose a location where nobody is going to want to run around causing mayhem in the heat of the day while the convention centers and hotels are nice and cozy... and isolated.

Piper licks her nose after suffering repeated flashes from the camera.

Nardo was asleep on the bed and Piper was curled up on a comforter segment on the footlocker at the foot of the bed. Nardo sometimes get protective of the bed and somewhat territorial, which is a reversal of the traditional Piper-as-alpha-cat roles where it's Piper that swats and drives off Nardo.

All is forgotten when I open the door and everybody can run outside to the patio to play in the sun.

Maybe I'll lay out some catnip.

The jasmine vines by the gate have fallen off of the fence. We need to nail up some supports to keep the jasmine up there, although Nardo will be disappointed. He's enjoyed walking the whole segment of the fence there unimpeded, back and forth like a furry sentry.

He brought back a lizard last night. I told him to go for chihuahuas.

He'll figure it out.

The other day, we went to TGI Fridays and Deskmerc ordered the Triple-meat Fundido while I had the Kungo-Pao chicken bites and the fried mac and cheese appetizers.

I was going to get the green beans, too, but it was all a bit much already.

Anyway, the Fundido arrives:

That's a flatiron skillet in a wooden base there, filled with onions and tomato bits and cheese and pepperoni and other meats at an intolerable temperature with lukewarm floppy breadsticks.

The task is to slide breadsticks through the messy goo and eat the stuff before the goo congeals.

The end result is slime-covered breadsticks, lots of double-dipping that would drive Jerry Seinfeld crazy, bits and pieces dropped on the table, and a sheen of oil on the remaining goo from the congealing process if you take your time with it.

As opposed to the normal pizza, where the oils soak into the crust, the cheese solidifies on top of the pizza, and the crust acts as a simple platform for the toppings without spillage or mess.

The Fundido is what the United Nations would do to the pizza if it could: make it inefficient, sloppy, more expensive, labor-intensive, and unable to satisfy the original mission.

TGI Friday's hyping of it with ethnic stereotypes, well, the UN is good with that, putting a happy black or brown face on an otherwise rotten scheme that serves nobody well but those who's pockets end up lined with the skimmings.

Vince Young makes his first start today for the Titans against the Cowboys.

Terrell Owens is constantly asking Bill Parcells to borrow his headphones to call the Suicide Hotline.

I've noticed each time I go to Academy to pick anything up, there's an increasing number of Vince Young jerseys for sale while there's not very many Texans jerseys of any number or player.

I'm now absolutely certain that the biggest turnout will be the Titans-Texans game here, and more people will be cheering Vince Young and the Titans.

Will it give Bud Adams a stroke, a stiffy, or both?

The Miami Dolphins get their turn to romp on the Texans today. Dom Capers is returning to the scene of the crime, so to speak.

How many times will David Carr have to get sacked before Capers realizes that it's a good thing?

Based on the accusations that Andy Pettite and Roger Clemens used performance-enhancing drugs, I think David Carr should be tested for those substances.

If he tests positive, then we know that it's not their trainers, but H.E.B. slipping a few foreign substances in their meat products these three jocks shill.

Nothing quite like tossing a few steaks on the grill and exploding with 'roid rage when the coals keep going out.

I took a break from Shire Network News this week, which means it's probably that much more worth your listening time.

I had a few thoughts on who should be the subject of who is full of crap this week. I considered slamming the myriad miscreants maligning Michelle Malkin with PhotoShops and pointless ad hominem attacks, but that would be seen as a total suck-up with this new Hot Air affiliation.

The appeal of joining these mudslinging fights is waning. Especially since Frisky's on the couch, meowing for attention.

Happy purring orange fluffball lapmonster 1, Outspoken conservative Filipino-American pundits 0.

In Houston, RISP stands for Runners In Stranding Position.

11 men stranded. 11 potential runs, and Crapiron doesn't even try to squeeze in a single one.

Crapiron sticks his head up his ass, Jason Lane came out as a pinch hitter, got his K, and finishes the season as a .201 hitter.

That's right - .201. He started lousy, finished lousy. If he were on an AL team, the DH would bat for him.

Steroids or not, Adam Everett made a gigantic case for hunting down Miguel Tejada with his miserable performance at the plate.

Absolute, rock-bottom suck. Despite an 82-80 season, they played like a bunch of losers.

Tampa Bay hit 7 today, Astros hit 9... they should remain tied for worst-hitting teams in the league.

And fuck you very much for eating the bat budget, Bagwell. Way to take one for the team there.

Tim Purpura will wear out his redial button trying to chase Roger and Andy while Carlos Lee keeps throwing himself at the locked and barred door.

That's it for 2006, ending the desperate climb back to relevance that was pretty much finished when Crapiron Garner let the Cubs sweep the club and thinking Jason Lane belonged at a ballpark doing anything but selling peanuts.

The Qualls jersey leaves its vaunted position and returns to the closet.

Okay, so Tigger wouldn't give up the chair for the Carnival of the Cats, but Pets Garden Blog managed to finish the 132nd episode without a hitch.

Oh, and the catmodel of the week is...

Begin Each Day with a little bit of Pushkin!

If you'd like to host the Carnival of the Cats, let me know which week you'd like to host it.

Faster Than The World is having a Halloween Writing Contest this year.

1. No more than two entries per person

2. Stories are not to exceed 500 words.

3. Fiction only.

4. The theme for you story should be applicable to Halloween; not necessarily about Halloween, but something appropriate for the season - examples would be ghost stories, horror fiction, anything spooky, scary, gory or creepy.

5. Stories should be sent to contest (at) fasterthantheworld.com with the header "Halloween"

6. Stories can be entered into body of email or sent in Word or Wordperfect format. Please do not send stories in notepad form.

7. Deadline for entries is October 20, 2006

8. Judging/voting will be done by FTTW readers

9. Winners will be announced October 30, 2006 and published in a special Halloween issue of Faster Than The World.

10. Authors retain all rights to their stories.

11. Writers at FTTW may enter, but their stories are ineligible for voting.

500 words? Whatever will I do with the other 400 words?

I wish they'd have a pumpkin carving contest. Nardo's all ready to start.

"Where's the button?"

Um... Nardo?

I'm confused about the uproar over too-skinny models.

Okay, so they give a warped message over body image and such, right?

But ignore that... what's the purpose of a model?

To show off clothes, of course.

So, if clothes designers are designing clothes for these too-skinny models to display that nobody can wear, then nobody's going to end up buying their high-dollar clothes, right?

That means ultimately the market's going to take care of these fashion designers, producing products that there's very little or no demand for.

The clothes designers either start designing for the real market, or they go out of business.

Or am I not seeing something?

Apparently, some diligent worth with digital software has restored Neil Armstrong's famous moon landing quote.

That's one small word for astronaut Neil Armstrong, one giant revision for grammar sticklers everywhere.

An Australian computer programmer says he found the missing "a" from Armstrong's famous first words from the moon in 1969, when the world heard the phrase, "That's one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind."

Of course, I'm way ahead of them.

The jerk who watched the email queue overnight copied some of the replies from customers into tickets, but didn't bother clearing out the queue when they handled the messages.

A few messages didn't get handled at all.

Oh, and they didn't sign their responses either.

Sure, there are times when I don't leave a clean and spotless queue for the next guy. But I do my best to keep things as orderly and well-maintained as possible so the next person doesn't spend their entire shift cleaning up mistakes and delay-tactics like I feel like I'm doing some days with the overnight shift's bumbling stewardship.

Told the supervisor, he says he'll tell that person's supervisor, and jack shit will be done about it.

You know, when this stuff happens, the so-called bonus point system they have for trinkets and baubles should work so that you either take away points from jackoff fucksticks and hand them to the cleanup drudge, or you grant points to the cleanup drudge from the supervisor's point pool that contains the screwoff that made the mess in the first place.

Not sure what I'd get with the points, though. Already got the 22" grill. Hrm... maybe something like a big foam bat to smack screwoffs in the head with? Can you exchange points for some retard to get a savage beatdown?

If someone's a total screwoff, well, maybe employees can pool their points and collaborate on a bigger beatdown.

"La la la la la... huh? What? I replied to tickets asking for followup information but closing them to inflate my stats? Well... uh..." WHAM WHAM WHAM WHAM

When's lunch?

I've decided to try something new by starting Kitty Movie Monday.

Today, it's Frisky in his favorite spot in Friskyland, having a quiet time until I show up.

He's like Tickle Me Frisky, but with fangs and claws.

Anyone wishing to participate in Kitty Movie Monday are welcome to post links to their Kitty Movies in the comments and, if they're up at YouTube, add them to the Kitty Movie Monday Youtube Group.

Current events inspired today's 100 word story at the Scriberoptics site.

Speaking of 100 Word Stories, I've got a stack of envelope mailers with CDs in them to send out this evening. I'll stop by the shipping place on the way home from work and send them out: Rahel, Cthulhu, Justin, Danny, Jacqueline, Carol.

If your name isn't on that list, you've sent in a contribution for the new catcam, and you'd like one sent out to you, please send me your address so I can add you to the list. I brought a spare envelope and burned CD to get an extra one out today, and I have plenty of CDs and mailers for a second batch should the generosity gene kick in.

Because, after all, I am turning Dennis years old very soon.

Headline from CNN:

Multiple people have been shot at an Amish school in Lancaster County, Pennsylvania, a state police spokesman says.

They're so damned violent, constantly killing each other in ride-by shootings.

*RING* *RING* *RING*
*CLICK*
"Hello... yes... your rifle keeps jamming... I'm sorry, what is this regarding... oh, I'm sorry... I no longer do Amish Tech Support... yes... well, I'm sorry, but I no longer handle that... okay... well, good luck with the rifle... thank you for calling... goodbye."
*CLICK*

Before, I had the grey blanket in my chair for catcam #5:

Now, I've got the colored afghan there:

Because it's pretty and has lots of colors.

I'm not sure Nardo gives a rat's ass, though.

The Astros ended up tied for worst team batting average for the year with the Tampa Bay Devil Rays.

Unless Purpura dumps Lane and Ensberg while going for real batting solutions in players like Lee and Tejada, they'll just do it all over again.

Oh, and if you're wondering where the bracket is for the playoffs, look elsewhere. Without the Astros in the playoffs, I don't have a dog in this year's fight.

Probably not next year, either, considering that both Purpura and Crapiron will likely be back, screwing things to hell all over again.

Every now and then, there's a persistent kind of annoyance who will go through all the methods of support in rotation with the same problem.

Never mind that it's a billing issue, so there's nothing any of us in technical support can help him with, but apparently their English is so bad they just know to try the next method... and the next method... and so on.

Then, they try faking other identities, like "Hello, I am my own grandmother, and I bought this server for me as a gift but I cannot find the password..." sort of stories.

Here's one that keeps popping into chat every hour and wanting help, then they say their server is down.

Well, of course it is. And we need you to talk to a billing representative to deal with it...

Nope. They vanish, and they'll be back in an hour. Because billing issues are best solved with technical solutions, right?

It stuns me that people from all around the world to try to host with us. Makes me wonder about how badly hosting companies suck in their own languages and countries to force them to have to come to us.

Piper was sniffing around the new fountain lamp we have behind the headboard around midnight, snuggling up like a cavekitty around then, so I can't quite figure out how it was I was heading out the door at 6:40 and Piper came racing inside.

You didn't see her much on the catcams today, if at all, because she spent most of the day recovering her bearings on the bed...

I guess she needs to learn to come back inside when it's time for the humans to go to sleep.

It's back.

I wholeheartedly agree.

The Palestinians have met the enemy, and he is... um... themselves?

Fatah gunmen threatened on Tuesday to kill leaders of the governing Hamas group, escalating a power struggle marked by the worst internal Palestinian violence since the Palestinian Authority was created in 1994.

Legitimate threats, or just a ploy to convince George Bush to back up his "bolster Mahmoud Abbas" rhetoric with more cash and weapons so that they can trickle down to his Fateh thugs in Al-Aqsa, an increasing number of whom now moonlight in the "security forces" ?

I continue to believe in the principle of kill them all, let Satan sort them out when it comes to the insane swine-pit that is Gaza.

Okay, well, with the departure of the former owner and CEO, a few goofball policies are being fixed.

For instance, they banned all food on the tech floor when we moved to these new offices in B.F.E. However, there's someone popping a big batch of popcorn every few days, so the aroma spreads throughout the tech floor.

Sure, you can eat popcorn in the breakroom, but the breakroom sucks.

I would take my popcorn outside to snack on while Deskmerc smoked.

Anyway, they dropped that rule since the popcorn lady is also the candy lady, and they never had a problem with candy being eaten on the techfloor.

The bad news?

There was a hair in my popcorn.

It's always something, isn't it?

Who cares what I think about Moqtada Al-Sadr's enclave going nuts over Buddy Christ? It's time for a new feature of TBIFOC called Ask The Cats!

Iraqi Shiite residents of Baghdad's Sadr City expressed anger yesterday over a picture of a grinning Jesus they mistook for a Shiite holy figure that appeared in the area after a joint US-Iraqi operation. Residents found a picture of "Buddy Jesus" from the 1999 film "Dogma" posted in the streets, accompanied by a badly photocopied pamphlet bearing a crude approximation of a US military crest and outlining a US "plan" to subjugate the neighbourhood. "That picture abuses our Imam Mahdi and his holy character, and mocks our sacred figures," said resident Abu Riyam, apparently mistaking the satirical movie still of Jesus for one of Shiite Islam's historical imams, whose images adopt a Jesus-like iconography.

The grinning, winking model of Buddy Jesus giving a thumbs-up sign appeared in the comedy film as a fictional attempt by the Catholic Church to present a kinder and more accessible image of Christianity. "If it wasn't so serious it would be funny," said a coalition spokesman, Major Will Willhoite. The pamphlets outlined a so-called plan to discredit the militias in the sprawling Baghdad slum of two million people, a stronghold of radical Shiite cleric Moqtada Al-Sadr.

What do you think about Moqtada Al-Sadr's enclave going nuts over Buddy Christ?

Nardo: Buddy Christ didn't come down to earth to give people a case of the willies. He was a booster!	Piper: I'm sure that the Kurds are just thrilled at the prospect of forming a state with these reactionary nutbags in it.
Frisky: Here's two Roger Clemens bobbleheads. Someone tell the Italians that they're meant to mock Romulus and Remus, adopted babies of the she-wolf and founders of the city of Rome.	Audace and Ruse: COOL bobble heads, Frisky! Did you get to go to the games when these were given out?
What does your cat think?

• A photo of the cat or cats in JPEG format (If you've already submitted the photo, it will be in my gallery archive. Just let me know the URL of the thumbnail photo to use again)
• Their opinion, whether it pertains to the subject or not
• (optional) Your blog's URL

There's a customer whining over and over again that he wants a specific technician to work on his server because he has a highly customized solution and this technician was the only one who could get it set up and running right.

Never mind that the tech has been gone for a while.

So the person wants to get a hold of the technician. You know, because he was so nice and wonderful and did all this stuff for him outside the scope of support for free.

My response should be "If he wanted to remain in contact with you, he'd have given his contact information to you."

So the guy's whining he wants his highly-customized solution backed up and replicated and such. In ways that we don't support or provide at any price, of course.

We keep telling him this. He keeps whining back, weaseling a new way to try to get his unsupported issue supported for free, dumping all of his responsibilities on us.

Just because you were able to convince some dumb mechanic schmuck to act as your chauffeur, it doesn't mean we're going to do it when he eventually walks away, pal. Go ahead and stick that cap and jacket up your ass.

This is why technicians shouldn't go outside the scope of support. They end up screwing the technicians that they leave behind when they go off to consult.

There is no such thing as "I'm just going to do this once." Once you do something, it's expected. They'll never want to or think they have to do it for themselves again.

I'm sure that others think of this tech with glowing fondness.

He was a nice guy, sure, but I kinda think he's an asshole for getting this whiny customer's hopes up that we do everything for free, and then dumping him on the rest of us.

Nardo thinks he's King of the Chair.

Okay, so I need to work on that Orbit camera a bit. He's not really that bright of an orange color, but at least the blanket's colors look nice and bright.

Nardo and Piper were on either side of me as I sat in my wife's chair this morning, trying to arrange my thoughts to the point where I could head out the door to work.

Nardo to the left of me, Piper to the right.

I felt like someone sitting on a library's steps.

Reading the news of the new Dyson-designed room temperature air bathroom hand dryer, I can't help but be reminded of our Dyson vacuum cleaner.

It's got nice suction, yes, but the agistator bristes have to be cleaned off after every time you use it. All it takes is a simple run through 1,00 square feet, and the bristles are rendered useless.

Without agitator bristles going, the suction isn't enough to pull dirt off of the carpet.

Cleaning off the bristles can be a royal pain in the ass, especially with the cat hair. And God help me if I accidentally run over something that is moist and foul-smelling with the vacuum.

I remember having to clean off the bristles to the Electrolux vacuums back when I was growing up, sure, but not as often as this Godforsaken Dyson.

Still, it's nice to watch the stuff swirling around the dirt collection chamber,

I think this might go nicely with my USB-powered fishtank at work, don't you agree?

Of course, it's "powered" by how fast you type.

I don't type terribly fast at work. What's the rush?

(Via Gadgetizer)

Sadly, these seem to only be available in the United Kingdom.

What a load of crap.

Tummy Tuesday is the brainchild of LisaViolet, who has many kitty tummies to share with the masses.

Since he's so good at staying on the bed while we change the sheets...

It's amusing to watch Nardo roll around on the bed and kick up a storm.

(Unless I'm in the bed at the time)

Honor Lisaviolet and post a photo of your cat's tummy today! Be sure to tag your post Tummy Tuesday in Technorati, too

My newest 100 word story over at the 100 word story site is up, and it bears a striking resemblance to the one above it.

Complete coincidence. I was writing it this morning on the way to work before any other stories were up.

Hopefully my use of Doctor Odd there will inspire me to get back to Abraham Lincoln's wacky adventures. Especially now that I've been reading and taking notes in this biography I bought at SeaTac.

After the shuttle disaster in 2003, Miles O'Brien completely melted down despite being a science reporter in the anchor's seat. Then, he blithered all through the X-Prize launch attempt.

You'd think having the science reporter with all of his contacts and experience would be a bonus for CNN's coverage, but in the end he turned out to be nothing more than a well-dressed bag of babbling flop-sweat.

Well, Miles O'Brien is at it again, unable to distinguish between Hollywood and reality.

What next? Offering up "The Land Before Time" movie series to show that dinosaurs can talk?

Fans of the IMAO Podcast who use Podcast Pickle can now head to the Pickle Page for IMAO's Podcast.

Yes, I know, I left myself off the cast list there. Gary gives only so much space for that field, and I figured I should mention everybody else first.

Oh, and if I go nuts like Scott did, well, I'll still hand over ownership of the Pickle Page to Frank. Because I'm a nice guy...

I stopped by the postal annex store today on the way home from work and shipped out the CDs people requested.

Had to fill out a customs slip for Canada and Israel, too. Kinda pained me to declare the value of the CDs as zero.

Maybe I should have valued them as a buck or two as a coaster or something.

Anyway, I have a whole spindle full of blank CDs, CD envelopes, and padded envelopes for shipping them.

All I have to do is settle on a camera now. Looked at Amazon and other reviews of wireless cameras, tempted by Axis (but the new megapixel camera isn't steerable), a bit put off by bad reviews of D-Link, wary of freezeups on Linksys, image quality issues on Panasonic. Might end up with Toshiba's dome camera.

More research to follow... hoping to make a purchase soon.

Once again, thanks to everyone for their contributions and there will be more news soon.

Mike McGuff celebrates two anniversaries at the same time.

Hopefully he'll get back into the swing of things and produce more of his segments for Technology Bytes, but I can certainly understand the difficulty of producing material for the joy of it when shackled up in...

A madhouse? A monkeyhouse? An outhouse?

Happy anniversary, Mike.

The fluffy kitty with the huge poofy tail was out, chasing a froggie this morning.

Poofy-tail is extremely friendly and vocal. I keep forgetting to take kitty treats with me in the mornings in case poofy-tail is out.

The black interloper-cat was on a neighbor's fence, but I didn't bother that kittycat since it's so skittish.

Oh, and the mother of the grey and white troop of kittens was out in the parking lot, rounding up one of them:

The other three kittens where probably off in the bushes, waiting for the straggler and their mommy to go hunting.

"Urchin? Back in my day, we had to import logfiles into databases... warn't no fancy SQL stuff... these were Microsoft Access... dBase... Paradox... and do the reports ourselves, or drag and drop with Crystal Reports. We had to upload the stuff to the database server, then upload it again to a report server... upstream both ways. Sometimes over a satellite link with rain fade, too."

Nardo let loose a big yawn...

Sure, it looks like he's laughing, but I know it's a yawn.

The Woot deal of the day appears to be a 802.11b and 802.11g Hawking 320G chassis with IR lamps added to it.

It's a pretty good deal. And the IR lamps should make it an excellent candidate for experimenting in Friskyland when he hides in the shadows. Or I can point it at the food bowl and leave it static there.

I've still got my mind set on a steerable camera to cover both the back door and the comfy chair so I can move the other Hawking to cover the patio. I'm still reading reviews and should have news on which model I ultimately settle on.

Mikeypod has been doing interviews with the residents and neighbors of the Koinonia commune/enclave/retreat/farm/community.

It's interesting to hear the perspectives of true believers in Christ's teachings as opposed to those who wear Christianity as a label for something entirely different. However, aside from the occasional enclave or community, is it something that can survive on a larger scale? Or is it something that, when taken in its purest form, doesn't have much of a survival rate when faced with, say, the more blood-soaked verses of the Quran as dictated to him by the voices in the cave?

I couldn't decide what to make for dinner last night. Gina suggested sloppy joes, but I could have equally gone for roasted garlic.

So, I tossed a coin. Garlic won.

What was the last decision you made by tossing a coin?

I have no control over what the cameras see, you know.

So when Piper decides to park her bony ass right in front of the toycam...

Let's see that show up on Stumbleupon!

Carnival of the Cats is About.com's Cat Blog of the Week.

Yes, technically COTC is a blog. I run it with the rest of my Moveable Type blogs and point carnivalofthecats.com to carnival.isfullofcrap.com for convenience sake.

The photos on the top of the page are a random draw from a gallery of Catmodel photos, and there's permalinks and RSS feeds and such in the guts of this site.

When I post a new item to the Carnival of the Cats category, it shows up on the mage page in the slot I've set out for it. Also the same with Upcoming Carnivals category and the schedule of future carnivals.

So it may not look like it, but this is actually a blog.

And thanks to all of you who have participated and hosted Carnivals. This would not be what it is without all of you.

Well, the paperwork that got chopped up, spindled, mutilated, delayed, recycled as firelighters, and fed to the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast or Traal have finally made their way to Payroll.

I've now gone from making jack squat to making Jack Squat.

But at least they were kind enough to go back to when they said I'd be making Jack Squat, calculate what I'd have gotten, and then retroactively implemented that raise.

Just in time for METRO to kill the 30-day passes and force Smartcards on everyone.

*beats head on desk*

I have a timeline for near-future science fiction stories in my notes.

One of the events is the declaration of the Al-Detroit Caliphate.

I figured it was as good a time as any to set today's 100 word story.

The humorous version of the story that I tried to write had a hospital dispensary robot getting its proximity and vision sensors crossed over, killing an entire ward full of patients by mixing up their medicines.

Okay, so many that's not quite so humorous, although the punchline was "In the manufacturer's defense, it did manage to say 'Thank you' in a most courteous tone as it was passing out the deadly pills, and the silicone-rubber mask had the most pleasant of smiles."

Bad Sports is back at Byzantio's to finish off the Astros season.

Apparently, they're getting ready for the Greek festival.

I've marked my calendar, but I won't bust my ass to get there.

Nothing like overamplified music, mediocre Greek food prepared in bulk quantities, crowds of bored people milling about consuming the Wylers of alcohols, and three parking spaces to get me shouting malakas instead of oppa.

David Carr is #2 in fumbles and #2 in sacks (Daunte Culpepper is making a run at Carr's record with 21 in 4 games). Despite the best completion rate at 73%, he hasn't broken 1,000 yards. Oh, and he's 1-3.

Yet he's got thetop QB rating.

Go figure.

That's strange. Shouldn't they be bowing towards the gas pumps?

El Duque may be scratched from the Mets lineup, but don't expect Jose Lima to get brough out of exile from Rochester any time soon.

Bummer. I was kinda hoping for a Lima-Marquis matchup in the "National League Home Run Derby" championship.

Apparently, some skank punched Paris Hilton in the jaw.

Someone pin a medal on Shanna Moakler, please. Or better yet, give her a tire iron.

Looks like Drayton's suffering the onset of Alzheimers... after a year of decent starting pitching, lousy hitting and awful situational decisions from the dugout he's gone ahead and... extended Phil Garner and fired Jim Hickey?

Yeah, that's right. Fire the pitching coach for lousy run support, using Lidge as a closer after announcing twice that Lidge isn't the closer, keeping Oswalt and Wheeler on their game.

Unless, of course, Hickey was the one who said "Yeah, Wandy's ready to come back." Or "Freaky Zeke still shows some promise." Then firing him is totally justified.

Looking forward to hearing what Russ Springer says about it... unless Russ is the one they're going to offer retirement and make pitching coach.

Frisky was at the back door, playing with some toys today...

Want more?

Technology Bytes is a weekly call-in radio show at KPFT every Wednesday evening (available via podcast in case you forget), and they typically hold a monthly Geek Gathering at hangouts around town here there is feasting, fun, and WiFi merriment.

They used to regularly hang out at Kaveh Kanes for Geek Gatherings, but Kaven Kanes is no more. So for May, they have selected Tropioca as the site of the Geek Gathering:

This Friday October 6th is the monthly Technology Bytes Geek Gathering. We'll be at Tropioca @ 2808 Milam, just South of Downtown. Tropioca specializes in bubble tea, coffee and smoothies. They also serve up desserts and free WiFi. For those not in the know, a Geek Gathering is exactly what is sounds like. The geeks from this show as well as a bunch of our listeners all descend upon a single location and geek out over gadgets, technology and the latest geek humor.

If you have not experienced in person the greatness of the throbbing vein in "Fighting" Jay Lee's forehead as he repeats the mantra of "Spyware!" you have not yet lived. You want to live, don't you?

I may actually be there since Jennifer the Intern plans on bringing her USB fishtank. I will bring mine, and we will have USB fishtank fights.

Every now and then, a topic at 100 Word Stories gives me ideas for more than one story.

Today's photo first suggested the girl dying in the hospital ward and a missing teddy bear, but others were not so pleasant.

I thought of a girl going to sleep, terrified of the lightning and thunder, wishing she could send a note to God to tell him to step. So her teddy bear wakes up, ties a note to a balloon, and sends one up to Him.

There was another where it's the same thing, but a father tucking her in and she's asking him why the Skylords won't stop dancing and causing the lightning.

Then there was the deranged nightmare of a kid's teddy bear going about, molesting everyone in the house.

Damn that Foley guy and the wall-to-wall news coverage.

Egyptian Sandmonkey calls for six-word stories.

I'll do him five better... a one-word story...

"ALIENS!"

There.

I'm tinkering with the fonts I use for the catcam timestamps.

Which do you like the best?

Hodgepodge Point is a new podcast by Laieanna, who is a regular participant (and a likely winner for this week's Weekly Challenge) in the 100 Word Stories podcast.

Toad's Hollow? Obsidian River?

Time to do some investigationalism.

(Via Metroblogs)

How often do you see a major newspaper running its entire website off of blog software?

CenterPoint's new mottos:

• "We take the Rely out of Reliant."
• "The stars at night are big and bright deep in the dark of Texas."
• "Your single source for single points of failure."
• "Feel free to bitch about us in the dark."
• "While we're waiting for a new stadium to buy the naming rights for, how about letting us increase your rates right now?"

Guy's asking what mailserver he should run. Then he asks us what we run in our offices.

Yeah, that's a smart move. Not only are you asking about what mailserver to run after you've bought a server with a specific operating system and control panel on it, but you're thinking that a multimillion dollar operation with "dedicated" staff for managing its own internal mail operations should be what your dinky mom and pop fly-by-night hosting hobby should mirror.

Pure genius.

Okay, so it's a tossup between the Panasonic 802.11b/g wireless and a Toshiba IK-WB11A.

The Toshiba costs signifcantly more.

The Toshiba has much better image quality and it can handle extreme low light.

The Panasonic handles 802.11 b and g, while the Toshiba just does b.

The Toshiba has 5x zoom and more presets.

Amazon reviews show that Toshiba's had some issues in the past, but solved by firmware and some effort in configuration.

Maybe I should buy them both, let them duke it out, and then return the loser.

I was looking at Flig when I noticed a new feature called a Meebo Widget.

I've been using Meebo on and off for a while to aggregate various IMs, although I tend to use gAIM at home.

However, this widget appears to make IMing me for visitors much, much easier.

So, I'll be experimenting with the thing off and on. Just look on the right sidebar in the Contact section and you'll find the new and amazing Annoy Me technology.

I'll put it on Catcall, and maybe the Catcams page so you can instantly let me know what my own cats are doing.

Your bread recipe is, for lack of a better word, a bland shit-brick.

Try using a real beer-bread recipe.

(I need to update it to include a tablespoon of wheat gluten, and substitute half a cup of regular bread flour for wheat bread flour)

I put Nardo in my lap and rub his tummy until he tries to bite me...

Then I give out treats.