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September 2006 Archives

September 1, 2006

Another one bites the dust

Hasan al-Shakur gets 86'ed in Huntsville:

"He deserved just what he got, only a lot worse," Jerry Nutt, who lost his wife and only child in the killings, said after watching Frazier die. He also witnessed Herron's execution.

"I just wish I could have done it myself," he said. "I'd kind of liked to have been the one to push the button.

"I know that sounds pretty cold, but when you lose someone like I've lost, my wife and son, and you hear animals like that, playing the system, getting a stay, cruel and unusual punishment is us waiting on justice."

According to the Q'ran, he's going to Hell as a murderer because, as we all know, you only get the seventy-two virgins in Paradise if you kill Jews in cold blood.

Oh well. At least we've still got his poetry.

Finally, an innovation that really helps

I guess METRO put the GPS units in the buses for something other than the goofy-assed robot voices and the pointless LED displays scrolling off the stops...

Where's My Bus?

Ever wait at the bus stop and wonder when your bus would arrive? In the not too distant future, METRO will be able to answer that age-old question with Global Positioning System (GPS) technologies.

METRO's IT department is planning to develop in the next year the means to connect the bus fleet, stops and shelters to METRO customers in "real-time" by cell phone or handheld device.

Using the Global Positioning System already installed on buses to help manage operations, METRO will be able to forecast the number of minutes before the bus will arrive and deliver that information to customers. In addition, METRO is experimenting with making route and schedule information available as well.

Prototypes were demonstrated to the METRO Board of Directors this month, and given budget approval, these projects will be included in the FY07 budget.

It's about freaking time. Been wondering aloud why this wasn't a part of the GPS package to begin with.

Hopefully they'll start by putting these things in the least frequent routes so folks know if they've just missed that hourly bus by a minute or if the bus is late by a few minutes... or one of them has broken down and it's better to take an alternate route.

Tip Of The Day

One portion unicorn substitutes easily for one portion horse.

The same goes for zebra.

After the macaroni, we'll have...

I had a corned beef sandwich with a bit of cheese and lots of French's Freedom's mustard on a french freedom roll last night for dinner.

I was kind of a slob and used a dishtowel as a plate instead of a plate, so some of the mustard dripped on the towel.

Piper likes mustard:

And then she rubbed happily against the dish towel to let everyone know that it was her mustard-soaked dish towel...

Because nobody else is getting the mustard!


You can find more examples of Friday catblogging by searching a blog search engine such as Technorati for "catblogging."

You can also find a roundup of catblogging posts at The Friday Ark, located at The Modulator blog.

Then, when the weekend is nearly over, head over to The Carnival of the Cats for more kitty goodness.

There's also Flickr Groups called Furry Friday and Friday Catblogging.

Anybody I miss?

Geek Gathering - September

Technology Bytes is a weekly call-in radio show at KPFT every Wednesday evening (available via podcast in case you forget), and they typically hold a monthly Geek Gathering at hangouts around town here there is feasting, fun, and WiFi merriment.

They used to regularly hang out at Kaveh Kanes for Geek Gatherings, but Kaven Kanes is no more. So for May, they have selected Tropioca as the site of the Geek Gathering:

This Friday August 4th is the monthly Technology Bytes Geek Gathering. We'll be at Tropioca @ 2808 Milam, just South of Downtown. Tropioca specializes in bubble tea, coffee and smoothies. They also serve up desserts and free WiFi. For those not in the know, a Geek Gathering is exactly what is sounds like. The geeks from this show as well as a bunch of our listeners all descend upon a single location and geek out over gadgets, technology and the latest geek humor.

If you have not experienced in person the greatness of the throbbing vein in "Fighting" Jay Lee's forehead as he repeats the mantra of "Spyware!" you have not yet lived. You want to live, don't you?

I myself will not be there, so that's added incentive to attend. I will be busy feasting on bread, garlic, brie, and the inevitable stench that follows (ie. The Astros playing the Mets.)


And if the Houston Metrobloggers don't appreciate my two or three posts a month to their site because it doesn't meet some kind of imaginary quota, they can kiss my hairy ass.

What do I get out of it? Maybe ten, fifteen hits back to my site a month. And I'm not about to game or abuse that posting right to drive traffic towards myself for no reason.

Besides, every little bit helps, right? It's two or three posts towards some goal that they will never reach because they always get beaten by Portland or Los Angeles. Get over it, folks.

I'll probably post about Blue Man Group coming to Toyota Center at some point over there. And, of course, The Cats Meow at MFAH.

Or not.

Double Duty

The tech that normally watches the chat channel for customers whining about problems or bitching that they aren't getting the top-of-the-line server for ten cents a year apparently went nuts or is having a bad hair day, so I'm stuck pulling double-duty today.

It's not that hard to do, but I have a very simple philosophy about work: no additional responsibilities without additional compensation.

"Just this once" easily turns into "From now on." if you don't put your foot down quickly. And I'd like to see the paperwork on the wage increase before I let you add more crap to my pack.

Friday Jewcasting

While all the good Jews are getting ready to shut things down for the Sabbath, we bad Olim in the Colonies are listening to their podcasts and shopping for good pork chops to throw on the grill for the weekend.

I'm sure there's some podcasts up at Pajamas Media with high-profile Jewbloggers, but I have yet to figure out their damn RSS feeds for podcasting.

Any other Jewcasters out there worth listening to today? Let me know and I'll give them a listen now that I have so much battery power I can shock thirteen monkeys into comas.

Doggie Couch

If you're wondering what that thing on camera 1 is, I'm experimenting with a doggie couch:

Gina got a doggie couch from her best friend because the doggie they had didn't like the couch. So, we're trying to see if it works as a kitty couch.

I need to put catnip inside of it at some point, just to see if they like it.

100 words on exposition can't possibly be that hard, can it?

The Weekly Challenge #20 ("exposition") will close for entries in 12 hours.

So far, we have:

  • Lisa
  • Caleb
  • Planet Z
  • Caroline
  • T.A. Marquette
  • Andrew Ian Dodge
  • Laieanna
  • Kolek
  • Elisson

Is it a busy week or a crappy topic?

Whatever. Twelve hours to go.

Oh, and if you haven't voted in last week's poll, Kolek is beating T.A. and Lisa by one vote.

Finally, when you're listening to the podcast while sitting o nthe toilet blowing your brains out, here's a good book to read while evacuating your bowels:

Continue reading "100 words on exposition can't possibly be that hard, can it?" »

Big old jet air liner

The first thing I thought when I heard of the Russian-made jetliner crashing in Iran was: I hope they build nuclear power plants as badly as their airplanes.

Anybody else?

Friday Prayers

It's Friday, so you know it's time for the wire services to post the non sequitur non-news story of Mahmoud Abbas praying at a mosque.

However, AP and Reuters and AFP stringers are too busy PhotoShopping up Israeli warplanes attacking the mosques in Ramallah, so we're without a Mahmoud Prayer Shot yet again.

So, instead...

WHAT IS GEORGE BUSH PRAYING FOR?

So, from George Bush's expression, can you tell what George Bush is praying for?

Is it:

a) This crap to be over quickly so he can go to the Post Office and send his boxtops in. Gotta get those seamonkeys right-quick!
b) Tornado. Cindy Sheehan. (You do the math.)
c) A Pepcid. Damn, that gumbo be hot!
d) The Saudis to do a better job of wiping. It's one thing to kiss ass, but kissing smelly ass was what Colin Powell was for.
e) NONE OF THE ABOVE

Put your guesses in the comments.

Thirsty

Piper's thirsty.

Time for a drink!

*slurp* *slurp* *slurp* *gulp* *burp*

Al-Pinocchio

Let me guess... Arafat carves him out of wood, wishes he was a real boy, the Blue Helmet Fairy comes, and then Arafat molests him?

In new version of Carlo Collodi's classic book released in Turkey, wooden puppet turns to his father and emotionally announces, 'in name of Allah, give me some bread'

The wooden puppet in Carlo Collodi's classic book that wanted to become a real boy was blessed with many interesting features and never ceased to amaze his father, but it now turns out he was also Muslim

In a new version of the book, that was released in Turkey, Pinocchio turns to his father and emotionally announces: "In the name of Allah, give me some bread." Along with dozens of other books that were included in a list recommended by the Turkish Ministry of Education, "Pinocchio" was forced to become Muslim.

I'm shocked that they didn't redo Washington Irving's "The Legend Of Sleepy Hollow" first.

After all, don't they have a thing for cutting off heads?

Beware of the Headless Cameljockey, Ibrahim Al-Crane!

Nah...

Beware of the Headless Imam, Ibrahim Al-Crane!

Nah...


Top Ten List, baby!

The perfect weekend

This being a three-day holiday weekend where many people will avoid being online for other outdoorsy activities, it's the perfect weekend to migrate a site from one server to another and change the IP addresses if it needs doing.

I've noticed a few folks here and there doing it. They're let the DNS changes propagate over the long holiday weekend, everything fine and dandy on Tuesday.

And if it needs to be done, well, this is one of the best times of the year to do it.

Then there's some other folks that are still dragging their feet.

Relax, people. Drag your feet through the sand. Enjoy the weekend.

Bush's priorities

We can spend eight billion dollars to send people back to the moon, but it's like pulling teeth to do anything about sending illegal aliens back to Mexico.

Asshole.

Unroundrocking

Straight from MLB.com:

Callups: The Astros announced during Thursday's game that they plan to recall right-handed pitcher Matt Albers and outfielder Charlton Jimerson from Triple-A Round Rock. They will be in uniform on Friday, the first day that rosters expand to 40.

Albers, 23, was with the club for a short time earlier this season, compiling an 0-1 record and a 4.35 ERA over five appearances (one start). He tossed five scoreless innings of relief, allowing two hits, on July 27 versus the Reds.

In his lone start on Aug. 3 at San Diego, he gave up five runs over five innings and was optioned to Round Rock on Aug. 4. He has posted a 2-1 mark with a 3.96 ERA with 10 walks and 26 strikeouts in four starts for the Express.

For Jimerson, 26, this marks his second big-league callup. He joined the Astros in September of 2005 and appeared in one game without a plate appearance. Jimerson hit .247 with 18 home runs, 27 doubles, six triples and 45 RBIs for Round Rock this season.

I'm still mystified about the ups and downs of Sampson. It's like he and Borkowski are dowsed with Stealth Paint and don't appear on the Purpura-Garner radar screens.

Try not to be shocked, but Mike Gallo is not on the 40-man. Niether is Jose Lima on the Mets' 40-man, so no such luck in swatting him around for 3 or 4 innings, I suppose.

Oh, and Phil Nevin leaves the Cubs for the Twins, meaning the 6 games Cincy has against the Cubs will now feature the still-crippled Derek Lee. Two brooms, no waiting.

Right about now...

We're doing salads, brie, garlic, and french freedom bread tonight, but I think I'm also going to try a trick someone told me in cooking the eggplant that's been awaiting a date with the flame.

Just ten coals or so in the Weber kettle, sliced-up eggplant drizzled in olive oil and pepper (maybe some blackened seasoning), and slow cook over low heat for thirty minutes.

I'll also toss on some eggplant I've soaked briefly in balsamic and olive oil with the pepper and blackened seasoning.

I've got a lot of stuffed jalapenos sitting in the freezer, too. Might as well finish those off as well before they freeze solid.

September 2, 2006

Weekly Challenge #20

I've posted Weekly Challenge #20, and Piper decided to chirp and yip during the recording. So, I took second takes and incorporated her interruptions. Even got a purr in there towards the end.

Check out the stories, and why not carve out a few hours this weekend to write your own 100 word story for the 21st Weekly Challenge? After all, it's a long weekend, right?

Opportunity

Well, I finally caught Frisky in the doggie couch, making it a kittycouch.

I would have had one of Piper and Nardo together at the food bowl without fighting, but I couldn't find the camera.

It was in the kitchen because I had been snapping photos of the garlic roaster.

Get one opportunity, miss another. Go figure.

Vanover is back... yuck.

Bottom of the ninth, and it's obvious that Larry Vanover is behind the plate in black.

The man has a screwier strike zone than C.B. Bucknor on acid.

All I can say is thank God his crew's not umpiring in a series with either Raggedy Andy or Roger Clemens on the mound.

Well, I can say one more thing... thank God the Cubs sent Maddux to the Dodgers instead of the Mets. Vanover would be giving Maddux every call and footrubs between innings.

And... Scott Boras' bitch Carlos Beltran gets banged up while robbing Berkman.

I'm amazed the crowd isn't cheering.

Go get your MVP award on crutches, you backstabbing bastard.

Sharper Image Garlic Roaster

Okay, well, it's time for another quick product review for something in the kitchen.

I walked to the Galleria and headed to the Sharper Image (taking a detour by the ICEE stand for a large cherry ICEE to beat the heat on the way back.)

Here it is:

The instructions say you have to wash it out before using it, so I did. Not hard to do.

The white handle is for picking the pan out of the unit. There's a terra-cotta ring in there for... um... well, I'm not sure.

Anyway... then I put oil in the pan, sprinkled pepper, olive oil, and salt and rosemary in there, and got the garlic ready.

Slice off the tops, strip most of the paper from the garlic, and then finally put the heads upside down in the pan:

It holds three medium-sized heads of garlic.

Close the lid and push the button.

Twenty-seven minutes later, the garlic is ready. So I put it in foil to keep warm.

We usually eat three heads of garlic apiece, so I ran it again. Added a touch more of oil, some more seasonings.

The garlic came out nicely. And the fact that it takes 27 minutes instead of an hour and a half is good, too.

Of course, I have to run the oven to heat the brie and the bread, but it's still faster with the thingy.

It wasn't hard to clean afterwards. Just cool, wipe with soapy water and a sponge, then dry.

We'll see how it holds up, but I've got good feelings about it.

Seattle Area

So, who of y'all is in the Seattle Area?

I may be going up there in the last week of the month for something.

I guess I should pay better attention to my crapheads and catblogger frappr maps... Jan B. appears to be the only one from that area, although I could have sworn I'd seen a regular from Whidbey Island in the stats.

September 3, 2006

Seals

(Via Evil Dwight)

I think Nardo needs an Official Seal:

How's that?

Continue reading "Seals" »

Misquote of the Day

Like many other Bloglines users, I get the Quote Of The Day feed.

Today's quote has me wondering:

"People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up".

Ogden Nash
US humorist & poet (1902 - 1971)

Surgeons make a lot of money and they do their work standing up.

So do really good strippers.

And don't forget athletes.

Continue reading "Misquote of the Day" »

METRO - Proudly sending cops to the wrong stop

Have you noticed the new stickers at the bus shelters (or bus stops when they're nothing more than a mushroom-like post that doesn't stop the rain or noonday sun) which have shelter numbers, the street intersection, and a few phone numbers for getting assistance?

I have. And at first, I thought they were a great idea. Maybe it could be the beginning of marking all stops for some kind of project involving GPS tracking of buses so you know if you've just missed your rarely-running route. Just type in the shelter number and the route number, text it to the FrankieBot, and the FrankieBot tells you that you've just missed it by 1 year, 24 days, 18 hours, and 55 minutes. Then FrankieBot says it in Spanish.

Cool, right?

Well, I thought so. Until I started actually reading the locations on them.

For instance, here's a sticker proudly designating a shelter as #5113 at Gessner and Tybor:

Which means if you're getting beaten up, raped, mugged, or murdered at the bus stop, just tell your assailant to pause in their brutal attacks so you can take our your cell phone and ask that a METRO Barneyfife be sent to Gessner and Tybor, si vous plait.

Minor problem, though. That 25/53 stop is in front of the Galleria Area NTB tire store on Richmond Avenue at Guiton Street near West Loop North.

Kind of explains why Transco/Williams Tower is in the background. Purty lil thaing, ain't it?

This is no PhotoShop joke or sticker overlay gag, folks. That's what I saw yesterday heading to the Galleria.

Maybe this is just a sneaky way for METRO to build the West segment of the University rail line on Richmond and then say "Duhhhhhh... we thought we was building it along Gessner." ?

Or did the combined Emergency Response Center ask METRO to do this so they could use it as an excuse for when a deaf callcenter employee dispatches an ambulance to the wrong location?

One thousandth away

The Astros are currently tied for second-worst batting average in the majors with the Oakland A's.

They are one thousandth of a point away from tying the Tampa Bay Devil Rays for the worst batting average.

Earlier this year I predicted that they'd end the season as the worst-hitting team in the league.

Sean Berry is building upon the Gary Gaetti legacy quite effectively in that department. If Jason Lane and Morgan Ensberg remain in the lefty pitcher lineups, I'm very confident my prediction will come true despite Tampa Bay's worst efforts.

Just watched yet another bases loaded blown opportunity. Pitchers should just walk the first three batters and let the Astros finish themselves off.

UPDATE:
Tampa Bay had 10 hits on 31 At Bats today and lost.
Houston had 1 hit on 22 At Bats today and won.

Oh, and a one-run lead wouldn't have been Lidgeproof. Garner's being an asshole again, closing with Launched Off Lidge.

Muslim Stamplede Season Contest

The Muslim Stampede Season is almost upon us, and this year is no different than any other with the usual empty promises and half-assed safety procedures from the Saudi government:

Jamrat, where pilgrims gather in thousands for three days to perform the stoning the devil ritual, has been the scene of several deadly stampedes over the past years. During the last Haj season, more than 360 pilgrims died in a stampede after about 100,000 rushed to the site, having ignored warnings from Saudi officials.

Overcrowdings and stampedes at Jamrat have been a major headache for Saudi Haj managers. In order to solve the problem, the government is currently building a high-tech Jamrat facility. The first phase of the project, which includes the basement, ground floor and first floor, will be ready before the coming Haj.

Some 8,000 employees of the Saudi Binladin Group, which won the SR4.2 billion contract last year, are working round the clock in order to complete the project before the next Haj. The new Jamrat Bridge is designed to carry 250,000 pilgrims an hour.

"The new project includes two helipads which will help in the speedy evacuation of casualties in case of accidents. One of the six towers of the complex will have a large escalator to take ambulances to the top level of the bridge," said Habeeb Zainul Abideen, deputy minister of municipal and rural affairs.

The new structure will have 10 entrances and 12 exits distributed over the four levels plus the ground floor to accommodate pilgrims coming from different directions. The ground and first floor will be used by pilgrims coming from the east of Mina, which accounts for the bulk of the crowd.

So, how many will die during the hajj this year as a result of stampedes this year?

Make your predictions in the comments. Closest to the actual figure will get an autographed copy of my book. Ties resolved by random drawing.

Carnival of the Cats #128

Despite a bit of webmail funkiness, The Carnival of the Cats resists all technical disasters and heads to Watermark for the highly-animated and fun 128th episode.

The Labor Day Edition is truly a labor of love by the Blogdiva.

Oh, and the catmodel of the week is...

Welcome to the wonderful and crazy world of Skittles from Mountains and Memories.


If you'd like to host the Carnival of the Cats, let me know which week you'd like to host it.

September 4, 2006

Steve Irwin

According to IMDB:

He tells his camera crew to always be filming. If he needs help, he will ask for it. Even if he is eaten by a shark or croc, the main thing he wants is that it be filmed. If he died, he would be sad if no one got it on tape.

So, did they?

"If something ever happens to me, people are gonna be like 'we knew a croc would get him!'"

Wrong species, Steve.

So, will Comedy Central ban the South Park episode where the Croc Hunter keeps sticking his thumb up animal asses, or do they just stick to asses like Tom Cruise?

Let's ask the cats about Steve Irwin dying

Who cares what I think about Steve Irwin the Crocodile Hunter dying? It's time for a new feature of TBIFOC called Ask The Cats!

Steve Irwin, the Australian TV presenter known as the "Crocodile Hunter," has died after being stung in a marine accident off Australia's north coast.

Australian media reports say Irwin was diving in waters off Port Douglas, north of Cairns, when the incident happened on Monday morning.

Irwin was killed by a stingray barb that went through his chest, according to Cairns police sources. Irwin was filming an underwater documentary at the time.

What do you think about Steve Irwin the Crocodile Hunter dying?


Piper: Elton John remade "Candle In the Wind" for Lady Diana. Will he remake "Crocodile Rock" for Irwin?

Nardo: I hunt lizards and I never get stung by stingrays when I'm being filmed hunting. Where's my television show?

Frisky: Does this mean there will be another Crocodile Dundee sequel?

Cowcat: Why couldn't it have been Yahoo Serious instead?

Loki: I'm trying to lick myself here, could I get some privacy, please?

Fuzz: Killed by a Stingray? I know a cat killed by a Monte Carlo. Cars should be banned!

Jazz: A stingray's a fish right? I like fish. I like to eat them. And I like to watch them in the tank. Fish are, uh... Hmmm... What was the question, again?
What
does
your
cat
think?
Thank you, kittycats.

Does your cat have an opinion on the subject? Then send the following to askthecats (at) isfullofcrap.com:
  • A photo of the cat or cats in JPEG format (If you've already submitted the photo, it will be in my gallery archive. Just let me know the URL of the thumbnail photo to use again)
  • Their opinion, whether it pertains to the subject or not
  • (optional) Your blog's URL
And you'll see them up here with the rest of the kittycats!

Green Chile Festival

Famous for their Elvis memorials, Chuy's is having their annual Green Chile Festival. Lots of menu items with green chiles in them, and they're roasting the things in the parking lot with a bingo barrel and a gas jet...

Here's a few stills I took with Ziggy3 the V:

Green chile festival time is probably the only time I get something other than a steak burrito with queso sauce or soft tacos. I indulged in chicken enchiladas with the gree chile sauce.

Good stuff, man. Although I did fill up on chips with the three deadly dips:

Creamy jalapeno. Gotta love it.

So, have you gotten down to Chuy's yet to indulge in the festival?

Forgotten Frisky

When we went out to Chuy's for the Green Chile Festival, I got Piper and Nardo back from their spots in the sun and inside.

Robbed of lizard hunting opportunities, Nardo was irritated enough to hunt his yellow mousey in protest.

I thought I'd gotten everyone back inside...

Oops.

Nardo stared at him through the glass to mock him:

Poor Frisky!

Death, where is thy sting?

So, was it Steve Irwin's apparent boisterous recklessness that killed him?

According to conservationalists that the AP rushed out to interview, nope.

It was television and the sensation-seeking audiences:

Conservationists mourned the death of Australia's flamboyant "Crocodile Hunter" Steve Irwin on Monday, and one suggested that TV's demands for sensation had pushed him to be too daring.

"He clearly took a lot of risks and television encouraged him to do that," said Ray Mears, a Briton whose television programs have included "Extreme Survival."

"It's a shame that television audiences need that to be attracted to wildlife," Mears said. "Dangerous animals, you leave them alone because they will defend themselves. Nature defends itself, it isn't all about hugging animals and going 'ahh.'"

The ebullient Irwin, 44, died after being stung by a stingray barb in a diving accident about 2,000 kilometers (1,200 miles) north off Port Douglas on the Great Barrier Reef.

"What he did was so extreme that it isn't surprising that he died. Just the same, it is very sad," said Kees Oscar Ekeli, a marine biologist and director of the Bergen Aquarium in Norway.

Although Irwin "went further than was sensible," Ekeli credited the Australian "did a fantastic job of spreading information about biology ... and nature's dangerous species."

"In the modern world's noisy media picture, he used extreme methods to break through, and that is exactly what he did," Ekeli added.

As I like to imagine, King Kong's last thoughts were "Beauty that killed the beast? Bull! It was all those goddamned biplanes shooting at me."

The television you see there in your homes has gone through countless manhours of planning, scripting, performances, editing, testing, and packaging. What may appear to be a horrifyingly dangerous stunt is often not, but there's still an element of danger to it.

How much risk is acceptible to the performer (and his producers) is another matter entirely, but it's never the audience's fault, folks - The guy brought it on himself. It's not like the world audience has some kind of button on their remotes making Australians do stupid crap like hold their babies while taunting crocodiles or anything.

If that were the case, well, you'd probably see Egyptian Sandmonkey or Big Pharaoh jabbing their remotes to make Aussie Dave waving Zachy around while taunting Hassan Nasrallah to launch Katushya rockets at him.

Does that happen? Of course not. It's a podcast. There's no video. (And Beit Shemesh is somewhat out of range of the Tyre launching sites.)

Look, I grew up in the Columbus Area. In the quiet suburb of Dublin, there was this place called The Columbus Zoo run by a guy named Jack Hanna.

You've heard of him? Well, good for you and your David Letterman-watching habits. Guy came off as a hick or a rube in kakhis, but he was no reckless dummy.

Sure, Jack would show up with animals and let them loose one after the other, making what seemed like a chaotic mess and freaking out Dave. Sort of like when Joan Embrey used to freak out Johnny Carson, but a little more chaotic with multiple animals.

Except one thing - it wasn't chaotic. It was carefully planned and staged. The animals that were selected were well-acclimated to being handled, making public appearances, etc.

I remember a corporate picnic at the zoo and animals showed up with Jack Hanna. Guy was extremely careful, even with the most tame of creatures. Lots of handlers, lots of precautions.

They weren't wild creatuires that Steve Irwin would mess with. Trying to make things appear reckless on the screen ended up causing Steve to cut corners with his own safety, and the guy got bit.

You might say he lived his life to the fullest and loved every minute of it. I say if he loved life so much, why did he take such ludicrous risks and treat it like something disposable?

Another schmuck dying for his 15 minutes. At least with DVD, we can reply it over and over and over now.

Paws

When Piper sticks her jumble of paws over the edge of the chair...

The temptation to tickle them is overwhelming.

And the sick searches begin...

How many of you out there are noticing hits from searches for "Steve Irwin Death Video" or other Steve Irwin-related searches from voyeuristic snuff-perverts?

FOOTAGE of Crocodile Hunter Steve Irwin being fatally attacked by a stingray on the Great Barrier Reef has been handed to Queensland police as fans worldwide come to grips with the "freak" death.

Irwin, 44, was killed almost instantly when the stingray stabbed him in the heart with its poisonous 20cm barb as he snorkelled off Port Douglas, in north Queensland, yesterday morning.

His American-born wife, Terri, was trekking in Tasmania's Cradle Mountain and Lake St Clair National Park when the news broke of her husband's death and was last night being raced back to Queensland with her two children Bindi, 8, and Bob, 2.

"The footage shows him swimming in the water, the ray stopped and turned and that was it," said boatowner Peter West, who viewed the footage afterwards.

"There was no blood in the water, it was not that obvious ... something happened with this animal that made it rear and he was at the wrong position at the wrong time and if it hit him anywhere else we would not be talking about a fatality."

Will Vonage buy it?

"Crikey!"
*THWACK!*
*GLUG!*
"We all do dumb things"
WOOO HOOOO
WOOO HOOO HOOO
WOOO HOOOO
WOOO HOOO HOOO

"Like paying too much for phone service..."

Running a dead pool, I see floods like this all the time, from people looking for Lisa "Left Eye" Lopez Autopsy Photos to wackos looking to see if Dick Clark is dead when he's staring the world in the face during the Emmys.

What next? Searches for Steve Irwin Autopsy Photos? Katie Couric nude?

Senator Ted Stephens was half-right when it comes to the Internet being a series of tubes. More specifically, a series of pipes and pumps.

After all, that's what you make a sewer out of, pumping and flowing crap around, right?


Okay, I'm confused now. From that same article:

One of Irwin's contemporaries, internationally known cameraman and spearfisherman Ben Cropp, was in his own boat off Port Douglas when Irwin was killed.

"I have just spoken to a cameraman friend who was there and has seen the footage," Mr Cropp told The Australian last night.

"He was up in the shallow water, probably 1.5m to 2m deep, following a bull ray which was about a metre across the body - probably weighing about 100kg, and it had quite a large spine.

"The cameraman was filming in the water."

Mr Cropp said the stingray was spooked and went into defensive mood.

"It probably felt threatened because Steve was alongside and there was the cameraman ahead, and it felt there was danger and it baulked.

"It stopped and went into a defensive mode and swung its tail with the spike.

"Steve unfortunately was in a bad position and copped it.

"I have had that happen to me, and I can visualise it - when a ray goes into defensive, you get out of the way.

"Steve was so close he could not get away, so if you can imagine it - being right beside the ray and it swinging its spine upwards from underneath Steve - and it hit him.

"I have seen that sort of reaction with rays - with their tail breaking the water, such is the force."

So the two surrounded the stingray, Steve was too close, it got spooked, gave all the defensive posture signals, and it lashed out like these things tend to do?

How exactly does this fit in, then?

Surf Lifesavers national marine stinger adviser Lisa-Ann Gershwin said there had only been 17 fatal stingray attacks worldwide.

"I think it's just an extraordinary freak accident that has happened to his heart," she said.

"A lot of people will be afraid by this, but they need to keep in mind that this was a freak accident, it was a terrible tragedy but it is not common."

Wait... the marine cameraman has experience with these things and says that when you surround these things and they get defensive, they lash out. If you're too close to back away quickly, you get nailed.

How exactly is that a freak accident?

Sounds more like a pair of so-called experts acting like a gung-ho pair of amateurs, ignoring basic safety precautions to me and begging for disaster.

Richmond follies

I caught an early 25 to get to Wheeler, then the Dangertrain to Downtown before snagging a 56 to work.

25 no longer goes Downtown, so I had to wait for the Dangertrain. One left as I got to Wheeler, so I had to wait the full 18 minutes.

Should have waited for a 53 which goes Downtown.

Anyway, the 25 said "Northline via Enid" on it.

Despite the fact that 25 got split into 25 Richmond and 24 Northline. 25 doesn't go to Northline anymore.

Wrong stickers. Wrong route banners. Incomplete route booklets.

No wonder why nobody in Afton Oaks wants rail near them. These schmucks don't finish their work or check the details.

And Marcellus Wallace don't look like no bitch, neither.

Out of the blue, some guy writes us with a copy of his new web page.

Well, isn't that nice?

Then he says it needs to be up on his site.

That's nice, too. Lots of nice for everyone.

Just go ahead and put it up on your site, then. We'll just get back to work here, fixing problems.

Communications break down from there. Apparently, he thinks I'm his webmaster.

Um. No. And I'm not your bitch, either.

Now he wants detailed instructions.

So I toss back a rought outline I give everyone and wait for him to whine for me to just do it for him anyway.

The Delete key is ready. Let him go off and hire some bitch to do it for him.

They just played four, so Roger should have a field day, right?

Let's pretend you're the Philadelphia Phillies. You just played four games against Atlanta in 48 hours, splitting them 2-2, and you have to turn around for an afternoon game against the Houston Astros. With Roger Clemens on the mound.

It appears the Phillies have added 5 chumps to expand their roster to sop up the damage from the weekend while Tim Purpura's still fiddling around with just Albers and Jimerton.

One of those lefty rookie chumps takes the hill for the Phillies, so I'm stacking the Bingo card with righties along the X:

I've only got radio here and Milo Hamilton's not exactly the best guy for following the real action on the field instead of plugs for bandsaws, sleeper numbers, and used cars.

Play along at home if you've got the day off and time to kill.


This is a must-win series for the Astros. They are head-to-head with Philly and can gain ground before Preston Wilson strands the bases loaded in 7 games.

Meanwhile, the Cincy Reds have 12 to go against a bunch of doormats. On the other hand, Florida has 7 against the killer Mets and San Diego and the Dodgers smack ear other around for a bit. Last but least, the Sanfags are flying all over the damn place.

When the smoke clears, I'm still betting on the Reds.


Cubs just lost Barrett from behind the plate for what they say is 2 to 3 weeks... that's another big bat that won't be hitting against Cincy. Easy 6 for the Reds.


Clemens out in 6th due to injured groin. Kind of explains the walk-plunk-walk-plunk episode.

Next pitcher to bring up would be... Sampson. OOPS! He's still waiting out his 10. Um... Barzilla?

I bet Purpura will grab Freaky Zeke. Because that's the stupid kind of crap Purpura would do.

Jimerton jacks one. Figures, since the last guy to come up out of Roundrock kicked ass, too.

Of course, Jimerton was brough to pinch hit. Lane and Huff are still in there to grind out the K's.

Go figure.... and... Ryan Howard goes yard.

Hamels is still on sub-70 pitches with the Astros killing themselves in order quickly, K's and flyouts for everyone!

After all, the Astros are now dead last when it comes to batting average. And a one-hit game today will just cement their status as worst-hitting team in the majors. (Today... Devil Rays: 6 on 33 AB's while Astros are 1 on 19AB so far.)

Baba Wawa and Rosie O.

Baba Wawa may have buyer's remorse now that she's bought a big fat lesbian to stick on the set of "The View."

The idea to hire Rosie for "The View" came from executive producer Barbara Walters, who has been friends with her for years. Walters was attending the April premiere of the documentary "All Aboard! Rosie's Family Cruise," about the gay-family cruises. She saw something most of us haven't seen in ages. "There was the warm, thoughtful, intelligent, charming, funny Rosie I've always known," says Walters. But when she wanted to hire Rosie for "The View," she had to work to sell the idea to the network. "There were discussions with the ABC brass in which we talked about the new Rosie--not the woman who might have been aggressive or belligerent, but the woman I had seen that night," says Walters. "There were some concerns about which Rosie we were getting."

Hrm... let's see... which Rosie will show up...

Maybe you should have interviewed her? You know, like a journalist looking for information?

Oh. Wait. You just do utterly worthless chit-chat crap once a year for Oscar season now that you've given up introducing 20/20 segments.

The Rove Boat

It's another Lost Episode of the IMAO Podcast over at IMAO.

I have several of these rotting in my Drafts folder. However, with each passing day, I feel less incentive trying to float these by the rest of the crew.

Supposedly, we're going to relaunch on a short-sketch format only, which means such epic scripts as "Rove Boat" and "Digging For Comedy Gold" end up trashed.

Oh well. They make for such long posts.

Shire Network News

Shire Network News is back for a Labor Day episode.

I skipped the neo-neocon interview section for fear of falling into a coma. As exciting as Tom Paine is, neo-neocon is intolerably dull.

Nose Lick

Caught in a brief moment of time...

Maybe the next time I've got Nardo leaping over me on the couch back and forth, I'll ask Gina to snap a mid-air photo of Super Nardo.

September 5, 2006

New drivers mean new ways to be late

Ride home yesterday was on a normal bus running as the 102. Packed like sardines. A few people with luggage coming home fro mthe airport, too.

So glad METRO knows how to manage resources to fit the situation.

Then, there was this morning. The new driver on the 9 has decided that 6:56 is the right time to get to the stop at Newcastle and Westpark. Maybe they were a bit groggy from taking a sixty hour break from all service along that route.

You know, the same route anti-Richmond Rail whiners want to spend hundreds of millions of your dollars to put a train along.

Six minutes late every morning. That puts me six minutes late into Downtown, missing the 102 by a mile instead of having to run for it to catch it most days.

Sure, I appreciate the extra time to read and enjoy podcasts, but I'd rather spend that time getting a few minutes more sleep, petting cats, etc.

Time to fill out yet another complaint form online. I'm sure /dev/null will appreciate my concerns.

Tummy Tuesday #7

How about a fuzzy orange tiger tummy for Tummy Tuesday?

Nardo was rolling around in the sun and needed a little attention. Kitty Movie Monday's movie of Nardo and Piper happened right after this photo was taken.

Here's an added bonus movie, just for Catcall readers:

Nardo rolls around on his back a bit, showing off the magnificent orange tummy.


Honor Lisaviolet and post a photo of your cat's tummy today! Be sure to tag your post Tummy Tuesday in Technorati, too

Katie Couric

(Via Siepp)

Well, today's the day Katie Couric takes a brand new CBS Evening News anchor desk.

They're also webcasting and radio simulcasting the evening news, plus:

The Web site can provide a alternative to the limitations of a 30-minute newscast.

"If Katie does an interview with King Abdullah, and three minutes appear on the Evening News, the rest will be on the Web," Hartman said.

It looks like the broadcast networks are getting comfortable with the fact that the evening news product is no longer merely just a news roundup without further information behind it. Now there's at least the pretense of using it as a summary of teaser items that invite you to further delve into additional material and background material on the subject matter.

As for the reports that Limbaugh, Bush, Clinton, and others are helping "launch" the newscast, what exactly does this have to do with the evening newscast's new role as a summary of news items?

Interviews about the newscast itself are not news.

When the show is on the air, you hold up a camera, not a damn mirror.

Cat vs. Croc Hunter

Was Steve "Crocodile Hunter" Irwin killed by a stingray, or a gigantic cat?

Apparently, the kids are behind in their Stoning Practice

With Palestinian schoolteachers on strike, it's heartening to see news stories like this:

Strikes have spread through the public sector, shutting down vital services and causing tempers to flare. Palestinian teachers began striking Saturday, the start of the school year, to demand full back pay and regular salaries.

Foreign Minister Mahmoud Zahar, a Hamas leader, said his car was stoned by angry youths in Gaza on Sunday night. Also Sunday, a 12-year-old boy in Nablus was wounded by masked militants trying to enforce the education strike by blocking a school and shooting in the air.

Those wonderful Palestinian schoolkids, keeping up with their Ritual Stoning Practice on their own so they don't fall behind when school eventually starts.

We may be seeing the next Brandon Backe here, folks. I bet the Henderson Brothers are calling a 970 number right now, trying to sign this young Gazaland Kid prospect up.

When the Biggio's away, the pitchers play

Biggio started in an afternoon away game a day after an evening home game.

Usually, he sucks in such circumstances. Sure enough, he went 0-for-4.

Is Phil Garner retarded or what? Has he been paying attention at all?

Okay, so Berkman went 0 for 4, but he hits better when he's got men on. With Biggio in there as leadoff going 0 for 4, no men on. End of story.

Lane was in the lineup, did his usual 0 for everything. Ensberg comes in for a pinch-out No surprises there between those two should-have-been-cut-or-traded jackasses.

Ausmus? Everett? Nothing.

They take their sweet time before Luke comes up from Round Rock... kicks ass.

They take their sweet time before Jimerton comes up from Round Rock... first hit is yard.

On the other hand, Joe McEwing, J.R. House, Freaky Zeke Astacio, Jason "Lame" Lane all come up quickly for a fat load of nothing. And Chris Sampson seems to be the forgotten one.

I think there's a bug in the majors-minors interface somewhere, don't you?

And that's how The Houston Astros became the worst-hitting team in the majors, folks.

Chad Qualls has now pitched four days in a row. Saving Wheeler for I guess with Lidge being an automatic run-tacked-on for any opponent, Garner's had to do that. However, Qualls did a wonderful of scaring the crap out of everyone by loading them up and then getting himself out of the jame he created. Let's see Lidge do that one.

As for Roger getting hurt, well, I don't think we'll be seeing a relaunch in 2007. Maybe the Astros will think twice about spending $12 million on a guy who will just play half a season and every five days that that instead of spending that on a bat that can help nearly every damn day.

And I'm not talking about a fading former batting champ like Preston Wilson or a risky discount move like Aubrey Huff. Someone on the level of Carlos Lee, who tells Scott Boras to go pound sand because he might be itnerested in the Astros.


Despite having 12 left against the Cubs and Pirates, Cincy is in free-fall.

Now that Philly has shown it can beat a Garner-helmed Astros squad heading steadfast for the rocks, they appear to have 11 left against easy chumps: 5 Astros, 3 DC, and 3 Cubs. If they can keep even with Florida in their 9 remaining with them, they may just top Cincy.

The End Of Kadima

Now that surrendering the West Bank is off the table for the one-issue Kadima Party, is it now without a purpose and ready to break apart and the coalition along with it?

Some say yes:

Reeling from criticism over the Lebanon war, Israeli Prime Minister Ehud Olmert has scrambled for ways to keep his coalition intact after shelving the main platform on which his Kadima party narrowly won polls less than six months ago.

The embattled premier Monday said his controversial realignment plan -- under which Israel planned to withdraw from large swathes of the occupied West Bank -- was no longer a priority.

The announcement effectively stripped Olmert's coalition of its raison d'etre, as the March 28 parliamentary election that his centrist Kadima won was a de facto referendum on the realignment plan.

"A government that concedes its diplomatic horizon is a government with no future," coalition partner and Defense Minister Amir Peretz was quoted by local media as telling aides Tuesday.

Strong words, coming from yet another Laborite Defense Minister who was a monumental failure in the face of terrorist aggression, refusing to take responsibility for poor planning and execution in Operation Knock UNIFIL's Dick In The Dirt.

The man makes Fuad Ben-Elizer look like a freaking genius by comparison.

The tragedy of Ariel Sharon is not that the man is gone, but that he didn't take his hideous and unstable chimera of a political coalition masquerading as an actual party with him.

It's staring right at you, moron!

Customer writes to ask how much space he has left on his virtual server.

So, I log into the virtual server the admin account and password.

First menu that comes up has the disk space remaining as a pretty green bar in the dashboard.

Staring. Me. Right. In. The. Goddamned. Face.

I click on it, and I get details.

What the hell is wrong with some people? It's right there, dammit. It's right freaking there.

For crying out loud, is this the chick from the Lionel Ritchie "Hello" video or something, giving up sculpting and moving on to webhosting?

How does this clueless twit survive? Does they have to be shown where to piss when they goes to the bathroom?

It's. Right. Freaking. There.

We now know why seat belts are demonstrated on airplanes, folks.

Lunchtime calls. Maybe I'll need to be shown how to chew and swallow my food.

Nardo needs a manta ray toy, right?

Okay, so catnip-stuffed manta rays aren't exactly an easy item to find, so I can always just get one and stuff it with catnip myself. Just like I did with the Santa and Frosty the Snowman a year or so ago for the holidays.

Fine. Let's see... Discovery Store doesn't have any. I guess they're not cold heartless profit-hungry bastards in the aftermath of this tragedy.

Oh well. Their loss.

I'd better check Amazon... hrm... four different ray stuffed toys. I'd better add them to the Kitty Wishlist at Amazon.

Should I post a poll on which one I should get, or should I just let the free market decide and see which ones start showing up via parcel post?

Ah, the rumor mill, it grinds and grinds

It's amusing to hear the rumor mill around here regarding which longtime managers that were loyal to the bought-out owner and former CEO are on the chopping block.

One that was rumored to be in their gunsights had been acting really squirrely as of late, but it turns out that the axe swung on a completely different manager that the new regime appeared to have full confidence in.

From a low man on the totem pole perspective, the fact that they had full confidence in the guy was a bit of a stunner. It always seemed that this guy was the equivalent of an overstuffed stuffed woodpecker on the decisionmaking tree.

Mexican elections

The Mexican Supreme Court is finishing up its decision on the 2006 presidential election down there in Mexico.

We here in Texas don't really give a rat's ass.

You see, it doesn't matter which jackass they elect, we're still telling him to go screw himself when he whines about one of his citizens on Texas Death Row.

"Blah blah blah... human rights... blah blah blah... due process... blah blah blah... access to the consulate... blah blah blah... Geneva Conventions... blah blah blah."

Whatever. Would you like them returned in paper or plastic?