This Blog Is Full Of Crap

A sword to their throat, Parisians find themselves adapting to dhimmi status in their own country...

City hall has issued a decree banning indecent clothing to preserve the tranquillity of the sandy beaches created on the banks of the River Seine every summer since 2001.

"People must behave according to good standards to maintain tranquillity, security and public order," the decree said, according to Saturday's edition of Le Parisien. "Notably indecent attire (nude sunbathing, g-strings and toplessness etc) is forbidden."

The city police will be enforcing the rules, and anyone caught baring too much flesh risks a €38 (about R400) fine.

Defending the decree, city hall sports official Pascal Cherki told Le Parisien that indecent clothing "could have led to temptations and dangerous behaviour on the banks of the river."

Which sura did they quote that from?

New email system rolled out for work communications.

Developed by the developers at the planetary side of the company, apparently.

Followed instructions within Linux desktop, didn't work.

Did they test this?

I guess their developers are as ace as ours.

Oh well. Life goes on. Time to brew some green tea.

Now it works. And it sucks.

If I recall, the new version Outlook Web Access could easily handle forwards to SMTP addresses...

The support mailbox I'm supposed to monitor is apparently fucked up because some genius decided each mailbox has only one owner.

Never mind that there's support, certificate, domains, sales, customer assistance, and other mailboxes out there that have heavy traffic.

Until it works, back to the ticket queue to stare at issues I have absolutely no hope of solving.

Anybody hiring?

My district's representative, John Culbertson, is planning on grandstanding for the cameras at 10AM:

Rep. John Culberson's office sends along word that the congressman will be announcing his position on Metro's proposed Richmond Avenue rail this morning at 10 o'clock at the James Coney Island parking lot, 3607 South Shepherd Drive, Houston.

How many of the local stations are live with news at 10AM? (Hint: none)

We'll see if they use the time in between the event and their newscasts to present a balanced view and comprehensive cov- (snicker) covera- (snicker)

Excuse me, but I need to go to the bathroom to laugh hysterically. Richmond Rail dot org has more.

UPDATE:
Sure enough, Culbertson says no to Richmond rail:

U.S. Rep. John Culberson today announced that because of what he described as "overwhelming opposition of the community" to a Metro light rail line on Richmond Avenue, he will oppose the project.

"I will vigorously protect the clearly expressed interests of my constituents -- in particular those who live, work, or own property on Richmond," Culberson said in a written statement released before he was to speak on the issue. "Today I am asking Metro to adopt a resolution ... withdrawing its plans to build rail on Richmond."

Is that opposition to rail entirely, or just on Richmond?

Lisaviolet comes up with a new catblogging meme... Tummy Tuesday!

That's an old one of Nardo on the bed, flipping around like a Flippy Kitty.

Pull back the cords from the keyboard and the trackball when I get home...

Sure, it's nice having a camera that can steer around in its new location, but I'd rather see a cat than a cat behind a thick black cord.

All morning long, fighting it out with a guy who's changed his registrar information from his old host to his new host, but he's still getting the old host when he goes to the URL.

I check from work. I check from home. I check from various test reflectors.

It's all going to the right place.

Diagnosis: proxy, firewall, or some other device has cached the old numbers, needs to be flushed.

You know, so his crap goes down the tube and makes it all the way there. Right, Senator Ted Stevens?

Speaking of flushed, I keep trying to flush this guy, but he keeps coming back.

Enough with asking nicely. Enough with It puts the lotion in the basket or it gets the hose calmly. Time to move Put the fucking lotion in the basket.

Sure enough, he wants to call to talk about it.

Nothing to talk about. It's not us. It's you.

No. A thousand times no. I'm not your damned psychologist or personal coach or some huge-chinned motivational speaker.

When I go to lunch to eat my salad, I'm going to eat the hell out of it. Torture every leafy bit between my jaws. And make... it... suffer.

Nardo's on the verge of a capsize on the tissuecam:

That's a good way to celebrate Tummy Tuesday in my book.

First, the mail system killed the support mailbox.

Now the ticket system is dead.

Every method of getting support requests is dying, one by one.

It's like Princess Bride and we're being cut to the pain.

Fuck it. I'm sticking my head out of the window and watching for smoke signals.

Sure beats wiring up my nuts to receive telegraph signals or waiting for Pony Express couriers.

H-town Sports reports:

Morgan Ensberg was 2-4 with a walk and his second home run in his third and final rehab start, but in his second straight game, he also had two defensive errors, giving him four in three games. Express manager Jackie Moore indicated that Ensberg may still be experiencing some tightness in his right shoulder.

So when Ensberg gets rushed back, what we'll have in the left side of the diamond is:

• A shortstop with a bad back who can't hit but who provides error-free fielding teamed up.
• A third baseman with a bad shoulder who can hit but provides error-filled fielding.

I've already declared this season over. Is there any way to declare it over-er?

And if Purpura works his ass off to keep these two and Jason Lane while going out of his way to piss off Oswalt into billionaire status, should we just go ahead and declare 2007 over?

Someone sent me a news piece about Mayor White's daughter getting busted driving drunk last night:

One of Mayor Bill White's children was arrested for allegedly driving while intoxicated early Tuesday morning.

The mayor's officer confirmed that 17-year-old Elena White was pulled over in the 9800 block of Memorial Drive around 12:15 a.m. Monday.

Precinct 5 officials said she was spotted because she was driving without her headlights on.

She was driving her father's car, the Toyota Prius.

A field sobriety test was given, but she did not take a breathalyzer test, officials said.

"Our daughter Elena is a fine young person who we love and who made a bad decision, violating household rules and possibly the law," Mayor White said in a statement. "It is good that she was treated with impartiality, and we are glad she is safe."

Possibly the law?

Well, let's see... driving with headlights off at night... is there a law about that?

How about driving while intoxicated? Got a law for that, too?

And what's this about saying she was treated impartially, but there was no breathalyzer test? Yeah, that's impartial, if you're a Kennedy in Congress.

Well, at least she didn't go nuts blaming all the world's war on Jews.

UPDATE:
Bill White is now defending his daughter, saying that the arrest may have been a mistake. Never mind the fact that she refused the breathalyzer which could have settled the issue one way or the other instead of relying on her behavior or the reek of alcohol from the vehicle.

He has also hired Rusty Hardin to defend her against the DUI charges, which is like hitting a flea over the head with a sledgehammer.

For a man who says he supports the local police, he sure has one hell of a funny way of showing he trusts their judgement in the field.

What's next? Bill White admits that the reeking vehicle was due to him drinking while driving, spilling the booze all over the inside of the Prius, and then handing his daughter the keys?

The next time I see Chuck Kuffner, I need to remember to ask him If you're so centrist, why are there overwhelmingly leftist viewpoints being expoused by his guestbloggers?

Spare tires are as round as the tires they temporarily replace.

"I can't quit you, Dark Knight..."

Batman is heading into a sequel, titled "The Dark Knight," and he will face off against the Joker, this time played by Heath Ledger.

Christian Bale, the star of last year's "Batman Begins," will reprise his role as Bruce Wayne/Batman and Christopher Nolan is returning to the directing chair.

And twenty years later, The Joker goes to the Batcave, picks up Batman's cape, and weeps.

Here's a conflict that I hope produces more casualties...

Gunmen clashed with members of the Hamas-led police force in a Gaza City hospital on Tuesday, wounding at least five people, medics and witnesses said.

It was the latest round of internal fighting in the Palestinian-ruled coastal territory since Hamas rose to power in March after an upset election victory.

In the last two days two members of the rival Fatah movement have been shot and wounded by unknown assailants in Gaza.

It's sort of like the good old days of the Iran-Iraq War, two rival Islamic Koran-thumpers and their followers thinning each other out by the hundreds of thousands.

(Sadly, not thinning each other out enough.)

I was going to offer my services in this event:

Therefore, I, Moxie the atheist am drinking nonstop for the next 10 hours and posting every hour...the goal is to identify the amount of booze required to spew even one anti-semitic slur.

But all it took was a splash of amaretto in my Coke Zero to cause me to bacon-wrap my electric menorah while flinging my kippah collection at the cats, shouting "There's nothing wrong with the two-state solution!"

No more Coke Zero, man. That's stuffs a killer.

Priscilla, Queen Of The University has been indicted, along with some of her fellow gang of thieves:

A Harris County grand jury indicted former Texas Southern University President Priscilla Slade today on two charges of criminally misusing university money for her private benefit, officials said.

The grand jury's three-month investigation also led to indictments for three former TSU employees, including Quintin Wiggins, who earlier this year resigned as chief financial officer, for their roles in making purchases of furniture, landscaping services and a security system for her private residences.

Also indicted were Bruce Wilson, who was senior vice president of administration, and Frederick Holts, the university's senior safety system engineer.

I'm just waiting for the usual gang of "community advocates" to rush to defend these shames guardians of the public trust.

I love closeups where you can see their eyes clearly...

Piper is such a pretty kitty.

Tonight, we hunt for pillows on a Pillow Hunt.

The old pillows have gotten old and tired, soaked with years and years of sweat.

They're downright rancid at this point, despite a prolonged airing out on the patio.

You know it's time when you wrap up a space blanket and use it as a headrest. Or you wrap up towels and stuff them into pillowcases.

I'm not going to try out any new-age space-age foam stuff. I want pillows, not glorified packing material shaped into memory bubble foam.

Maybe get a spare pillow, too, so that when my flood of flop-sweat hits the pillow, at least I can rotate the pillows around, giving one an opportunity to air out while the other two suffer my sweaty wrath.

Has anyone noticed that when Glenn Reynolds hands Instapundit to guestbloggers, the tone shifts from "Look at their stuff!' to "Look at my stuff!" ?

If you're not sure what all the terms flying around like missiles in the Israeli-Hezbollah Conflict mean, well, Bacon Eating Atheist Jew lays them all out and gives simple definitions.

Here's two I just thought of:

Journalist: Anyone in the media who uses their access to the viewing, listening, or reading public to disseminate a pro-Arabic view.

Propagandist: Anyone in the media who uses their access to the viewing, listening, or reading public to disseminate anything which distracts from pro-Arabic views.

Yet another Totten screwball needing a slam out of the park:

This war in the Middle East nearly demolishes the theory that democracies don't go to war with each other. Lebanon, aside from Hezbollah's state-within-a-state, is a democracy. At least it's an almost-democracy. Aside from my personal affection for Lebanon, the country where I recently lived, the only country other than the US where I've ever lived, this is what anguishes me the most: The Arab world's only democracy is being torn to pieces by another democracy.

Hezbollah is an Iranian and Syrian infection, funded with their money and trained with their skills and knowledge.

It is no more an local engine for democratic force than the corrupt Palestinian "political party" facades of Fateh, Hamas, and other autocratic schemes with theological components.

Andy Pettite thinks it was a good win last night:

"It's just a good win," Pettitte said after throwing six scoreless innings. "I'm just thankful I could give us a good start. We've got a lot of work to do, and everybody knows it."

Tom Kirkendall thinks otherwise:

The Stros won at San Diego last night, but a situation during the game highlighted another among the many problems with this particular Stros team -- manager Phil Garner.

Now, don't get me wrong. Garner's less-than-average ability as a Major League Baseball manager is nowhere near as big a problem as the Stros' chronic hitting woes or this season's overall lackluster pitching performance. Moreover, he is a genuinely nice man who is impossible to dislike personally. But the fact of the matter is that he is not a good manager. Not as bad as Jimy Williams, mind you, but certainly not as good as Larry Dierker.

Read the rest to see an example of Garner's ineptitude.

The support mailbox at work is still broken.

I sent a test message to the support mailbox to see if there was any automatic response saying the mailbox isn't being checked and they should use one of the other methods of requesting support or a bounce message.

Nope.

And group mailboxes for other important roles in the company are also screwed.

I sent them a quick sketch of using public folders for dropboxes that multiple people can access at once. I used that concept a lot at that place when I ran the Exchange server there (often into the ground), and it was great for keeping a log of activity while allowing forwards and rules to keep out the junk.

We'll see if they'll use that idea. "They're working on it!" seems to be the mantra of the day.

Another day of slogging through tickets I can't close for some reason or another. But at least I have plenty of cinnamon to offer people with coffee.

Mmmmmmm... cinnamon.

Oh, boise! I can make calendar appointments. I'm going to make one with Deskmerc for Lunch. And one for Joke for a mid-break random smile for no reason. And then a random shuffle of something on Lisa's desk. And...

(Should I post a "Blogging will be heavy" notice?)

(Via BlogHouston)

It looks like Time Warner is going to revamp AOL, because we all know how wonderful their customer service is, right?

And then, there's the fact that Time Warner is doing just great, wonderful, spectacular...

"Time Warner Cable delivered another great quarter," said Time Warner chief executive officer Dick Parsons during a conference call with analysts Wednesday morning.

So when things go great for Time Warner Cable, the first thing they do is abandon Houston:

The Action 13 Consumer Department has learned there will be a big change coming to nearly every cable customer in Houston. Time Warner Cable is leaving Houston and Comcast is replacing it.

It was an internal Time Warner Cable e-mail that alerted us to the coming change.

While Time Warner Cable employees cannot talk about the details, we do know Time Warner Cable is leaving the Houston market and Comcast cable is replacing it.

Now we know why AOL-TW didn't have a serious bid for the Houston Municipal WiFi project. They knew AOL-TW in Houston was a dead-end.

I'm looking forward to the massive headaches in addressing. No, really. It's going to be a boom for the Excedrin market.

Hopefully, Chris Baker will get a sponsorship from Comcast so he can say how great Comcast Cable and their Internet services are... until they abandon Houston for the next major operator.

Piper stole Nardo's jar...

Which means he'll dump his collection of lizard legs in my shoes.

During last evening's Pillow Hunt, we went to Linens And Things.

Or was it Bed Bath and Beyond?

Standing there in the middle of the pillow area, I had no idea where I was: LNT or BBnB.

It took a minute or so of walking around to get visual clues as to which I was in. I saw a plain LNT logo and determined I was in Linens and Things.

Maybe I should go to each and snap photos and post a quiz to see if y'all can figure out of the photo is a Linens and Things or a Bed Bath and Beyond.

A big MSM plug for Zionaussie Dave...

From the other side of the border comes the version of "Aussie Dave," a 31 year-old Australian who immigrated to Israel in 2000.

"While I am sure everyone will be quick to condemn Israel, Hezbollah is fully responsible for this tragic loss of life," he writes.

"They launch rockets from civilian areas because they know Israel's response will draw criticism as civilians are invariably killed. And they increase the chances of civilian casualties by preventing civilians from leaving these areas."

From Washington in the United States, Doha, a 25 year-old Lebanese man, says: "This is truly a brutal way of operating by Hezbollah. I hate violence and death. Enough is enough; the Lebanese government needs to take a stand. My country is wounded."

Which prompts a grateful "Aussie Dave" to respond: "From an Israeli blogger to a Lebanese blogger: stay safe and know that we here in Israel wish you absolutely no harm."

Dave's been burning the midnight oil keeping the updates going. If he's on your blogroll already, he should be on it.

Carnival of the Cats will be here this upcoming Sunday.

I suppose I ought to make some kind of goofy raffle offer if I get over 100 blogs participating in this week's carnival.

Spread the word, folks. Calling all cats, all paws on deck.

I want to be sweating bullets Sunday afternoon trying to put it all together. I want my fingers to ache. I want my eyes to bleed.

(Via Michelle Malkin)

Yet another empty promise from Congressman Charlie Rangel of New York:

Democrats consider the 2006 elections their best chance in a decade to recapture the House, with widespread unease over Iraq and with Republicans lagging in polls. Rep. Charles B. Rangel (N.Y.), who would become chairman of the Ways and Means Committee if Democrats picked up the 15 seats needed to regain the majority, said in an interview yesterday that he will quit Congress if the party does not capitalize on an unparalleled opportunity.

Charlie Rangel proposed a bill to reinstate the draft to protest the Iraq War because he claimed that poor, undereducated blacks were bearing most of the burden in the armed forces.

Or, as I said before:

So Charles Rangel, who wrote a bill as a protest against the non-existent draft so as to demonize the Republican leadership and confuse his intellectually stunted supporters, who wrote his colleagues calling for them to co-sponsor it, proposed a bill on the hallowed floor of the most representative body in this country, who screeched to holy hell at the fact that his bill was actually called for a vote, who wrote his colleagues rallying them to vote against it, who voted against it and then who claimed that he proposed it so he could vote against it because the he claimed the Republicans were secretly for a draft and this bill would force them to research the issue honestly and fully (who actually without exception, unlike the Democrats, voted against it)...

Aw fuck it, the list goes on. He even looks like a gigantic crap in a cheap suit.

Just like Cynthia McKinney, I look forward to this moronic race-baiter's departure from Congress.

I usually head out the door at 06:40 in the morning.

When I remember to do it, I often sprinkle some catnip on the patio to attract the neighborhood interlopers.

Sure enough, just a few minutes after I walked out the gate...

And then, on the fence...

Check today's archive for shots of the other interloper.

I'm having a hard time understanding this situation:

MK Ahmed Tibi (Ra'am-Ta'al) was assigned bodyguards on Wednesday after receiving death threats by mail to his office in the Knesset.

The Israeli Arab lawmaker's personal security was tightened over the past several days. He now travels to all public places with the escort of bodyguards. He has also been asked to report his schedule to security authorities in advance.

"There has been an increase in the number of death threats I receive," Tibi said. "I hope the limitations and security will end soon."

Okay, so in the end, Arafat's old advisor has been inconvenienced by additional security measures.

But he's still:

• A traitor
• An asshole
• Alive

The only thing that's been accomplished is that his phone's tied up to the point he has to use another line to call Ramallah, Gaza City, Damascus, Beirut and Tehran for instructions.

I had a BK Stacker last night.

Just two patties of meat, but boy was that thing small.

No wonder why they use midgets in the commercials.

It reminded me of the Big Mac and the fact that it uses eighth-pound hamburger patties even though it's a double-decker sandwich, so it's got as much meat as a quarter-pounder burger.

It took Burger King how many years to come up with their own version of the McDonalds NotBigMac scam?

There was also an odd-tasting sauce in the burger among the tiny beef-pucks, limp bacon, and oozing cheese.

Of course, with the convergence of Burger King and midgets in the commercials coupled with mystery fluids, it's just a matter of time before Steve of Hog On Ice grabs the ball and runs with it.

I'm sure this pleases PETA's Ingrid Newkirk to no end:

An unidentified Israeli man comforts a dog whose owner was killed in a rocket attack by Hezbollah guerrillas in Kibbutz Sa'ar near the northern town of Nahariya Wednesday, Aug. 2, 2006. Hezbollah fired a record number of more than 160 rockets at northern Israel on Wednesday, killing an Israeli fleeing on his bike toward shelter and hitting further south than ever before. A stray rocket struck the West Bank for the first time. (AP Photo/Jacob Silberberg)

Before I log off, I checked the website for links to the various non-functional mailboxes that seem to be caught in a pissing match between Dallas and Houston.

Still up there.

Then I checked the support mailbox again for a message to let folks know that there's an issue.

Nope. Not a peep. Nothing on the site or the forums, either.

I hear whispers... the mailboxes for support and custoemr relations and other issues are just piling up with nowehere to go. Then I hear they're just being dumped and they weren't going to come back because the developers didn't think they needed them anymore.

You know, because developers working in isolation over a weekend with nobody actively guiding them have an eagle's eye view of the entire business process.

I don't think this is chaotic enough. I say buy a third company. One that uses all Macintosh equipment and is really good at hosting pirates music and movies.

Bring yet another business model and corporate culture into the mix to make things even more messed-up from the get-go.

I open my wallet, look at the insurance card, and shrug.

Same shit tomorrow.

Who cares what I think about cats taking over abandoned Lebanese cities? It's time for a new feature of TBIFOC called Ask The Cats!

Street cats have taken over this Lebanese port city from which thousands of its human inhabitants have fled in fear of Israel's looming ground offensive.

Mountains of rubbish, uncleared for more than a week, have become a haven for hundreds of hungry felines who dodge dogs and the occasional trash fire to get their claws on the contents of the black bags.

The smell of the rubbish heaps hangs over the city like the odour of the plague. The silence is broken only by the sharp cries of the cats.

What do you think about cats taking over abandoned Lebanese cities?

Piper: The difficult part was convincing the world that it was the Jews driving all these people out of the cities and not the kittycats. Well, okay... it wasn't hard to convinve the Muslims to blame the Jews. They're kinda stupid that way.	Nardo: Okay, someone yell "BOMB!" and get Frisky to run under here for safety. Then me and the mousey will ambush him.
Frisky: Without people, there's nobody to give out treats or hugs. Damn those people for abanonding their cats.	Magoo: Sure take off and leave everything behind as soon as the going gets tough. Just wait twenty years. after we Cats have built a decent society here where dogs and cats can live together and prosper, they'll come back whining about the "Right of Return."
What does your cat think?

• A photo of the cat or cats in JPEG format (If you've already submitted the photo, it will be in my gallery archive. Just let me know the URL of the thumbnail photo to use again)
• Their opinion, whether it pertains to the subject or not
• (optional) Your blog's URL

As if anybody gives a shit what Joy Behar thinks.

Michael Harren of Mikeypod on the Bayou will soon no longer be "of the Bayou" and leaving for many adventures.

However...

This is what he forwarded me about his kittycats:

Michael Harren is a local podcaster (MikeyPod on the Bayou) and supporter of many civil rights issues. He is moving in August and sadly must find a home for his 2 cats.

Kitty: Female, spayed. I adopted Kitty about 8 years ago when I lived in the Heights. She was a neighborhood cat, and loved everyone. She used to follow me down the street and wait for me outside when I went to eat at a local restraunt. I took her with me when I moved from there. She is very good natured, and was an indoor/outdoor cat until about two years ago. She adapted perfectly to being indoor only. She is extremely laid back, and cuddly, and purrs whenever she is picked up....even at the vet!

Kali: Female, spayed. She is about 5 years old. She was found on the side of a freeway when she was teeny tiny and I adopted her on the spot. She is a little bit standoffish and gets spooked easily, but once she gets to know you she will be very cuddly. I don't think she would be good to have around children, but she would be fine with adults. She has always been an indoor cat.

I will take both cats to the vet and get them checked out and shots up to date before I leave. I am planning to be gone for 6 months to a year, I probably wont come back to Houston and I can't say for sure if I will be able to take the cats back. it would be great if they could stay together.

He can be reached at mikeypod (at) gmail (dot) com for further information.

Orlando "Pinch K" Palmerio is back, and was Jason Lane sent down to make room for him?

Nope.

Either Brunt will be back with the 40 or the men with the butterfly nets need to drag Tim Purpura off.

I made fried rice last night.

I was pretty simple. Just steam up a bunch of rice, toss it in a skillet with a bit of oil and soy and Kroger frozen vegetables and a seasoning packet.

Oh, and the eggs. Scrambled eggs are important.

No meat this time. Didn't feel like thawing and cooking anything to add to it.

Anyway, the frozen veggies consisted of peas, carrots, lima beans, corn kernels, and green beans.

It struck me that these are the exact same vegetables in Lai Lai Dumpling House's fried rice.

How many mountains of Lai Lai Fried Rice have I eaten over the years?

Jay Tea doesn't even have the balls to say I'm not human at his own site.

Okay, well, maybe Wizbang isn't his own site. More like someone else's site that he's best associated with.

Or... aw, screw it.

Oh, and my answer to the test is "I'd pick up the tortoise and beat Moses repeatedly with it, shouting 'WHERE THE HELL IS THIS PLACE GOD PROMISED YOU, YOU OLD FOOL?' "

When Biggio hit his second home run, I thought: "The faster he gets to 3,000, the sooner Burke can take over second base."

I'm not going to let this series fool me. Winning two without Berkman, sure, that's impressive. But Ensberg's hit last night was a pile-on hit and not a 1-0 gamewinner, so I'm not about to declare him cured. And this game was literally thrown away by Todd Walker and Mike Piazza.

The Astros have a bunch left to play against the Brewers and Cardinals. Garner's proclivity for horribly stupid moves will make him put Berkman in the outfield yet again, the risk of a season-ending or career-ending injury is always lurking in the dark. And we've seen that not even a series against the Cubs is a lock.

Time to check the battery in the radio headset to make sure I can listen to the game on the way home tonight. I've got lots of spares in case the switch got bumped in the bag again.

Kinda weird... I'll open up my bag when I get home, and the radio's chattering to itself. Little knob of a button got bumped.

I'll grab a small bag to use as a case from my collection of Chivas Regal bags.

Over at IMAO, I reveal how United got out of bankruptcy and how other airlines are joining the "Fuck the customer" bandwagon.

"This is your captain speaking. I'm not telling you shit about what we're going to do. You're not the boss of me. Now shut up, sit down, and if you don't know how to put on a freaking seatbelt then you deserve to die if I have a muscle spasm and jerk this piece of shit around a bit. Now quit bothering the stewardess so she can get her fat ass back in here and fill my flask."

Every now and then, something happens back at that place and someone will ask me about it or what I thought of the person or persons involved.

So when I was told that Elma Barerra "will stay on stay at the station" by someone I thought to myself "Since when did they rehire Kris to write web content? What kind of grammar is that?"

Then I looked back through some of my old notes, looked at MELANIE + ELMA > VANGIE + REGINA in my own hurried handwriting, smiled sweetly, and went back to trying to unclog the kitchen sink.

I went to the corner store to pick up some drain cleaner, but they didn't have any. So I used the opportunity to pick up milk and Miller Lite.

No candy. No ice cream cones or bad stuff. Gotta get back to 200 and fast.

Then, I checked under the sink. Found a bottle of Liquid Plumr of one variety or another way back there.

You know, if only everything worked as fast as that Liquid Plumr stuff. You're looking at a problem, and it needs solving. So you pour the stuff in and stand back. Goes right to the clog, heats up, and the water goes down in less than an hour like magic.

Yeah, it's not magic. I know the chemistry, but still it amazes me.

(Gotta add Liquid Plumr to the shopping list... I'll swing by Wallgreeens on the way home and get a few. Maybe pick up some cans of baby food while I'm at it, just to make the cashier think I'm some kind of deranged psycho.)

You read about the news that a dog destroyed Elvis' teddy bear and you think of Teddy Bear and not Hound Dog.

After all, it was a Doberman, right?

(Crossposted to Yourish)

Well, sort of.

You see, Ted Rall quotes the following news story:

If the non-Jewish population continues to outpace Jewish population growth, Israel could become an underdeveloped Third World country by 2020, a population expert predicts.

That's the warning being sounded by University of Haifa's professor Arnon Sofer. He says there is now a demographic balance in the number of Jews and non-Jews in the region from the Jordan River to the coast and running the length of Israel from north to south.

"Today, there are 5 million Jews and 5 million non-Jews. The latter figure is composed of 4.5 million Arabs and the remainder non-Jewish immigrants, mainly from the former Soviet Union, and foreign workers," he told the Jerusalem Post.

And he uses those figures to state "Half of Israelis are Jews" in this cartoon.

Minor problem, though. The phrase "in the region from the Jordan River to the coast and running the length of Israel from north to south" means Israel, Judea, Samaria, and Gaza. Or, in Ted's language, that's Israel plus something called "Palestine."

So by quoting the story as a source, he's acknowledging that the territory Israel won in the 1967 war to defend its existence is legitimately held?

No, not really. Because the cartoon (in Ted's usual rudimentary fashion) shows that Israel is only the 1967 Borders Israel, minus Gaza and Judea and Samaria.

So, despite his protest:

I have read similar statements elsewhere; thus my cartoon.

He's wrong.

But then, you knew that already. Because it's Ted, and it's safe to assume that anything Ted says or draws is wrong.

Or is it? Ted does get something right in the cartoon...

I suppose it's time for one of those softball "Let's ask people something" kind of posts.

What ringtones do you use and do they have special meaning for you?

Do you set up special ringtones for specific people? Why did you choose each one?

Seeding the patio with catnip works again. The interlopers are back...

I need to remember to give out treats and catnip to our little monsters when I get home.

In kindergarten, Miss Rettig had an oversized thermometer teaching tool with a sliding strip of red that represented the colored alcohol one sees in thermometers.

At the beginning of each class, she'd ask what the temperature was.

Now, we had a thermometer at home, and it was almost always 72 degrees inside. Oh, and there was a separate tube to measure outside temperature, but the metal probe on a slender wire was never stuck outside the window, so both read 72.

I'd stick it in my mouth to get it up to 97 degrees. (My mouth, Frank.)

Where was I? Oh right. Despite being an ignorant sprout, I knew not to shout "72!" because that was the temperature inside my home, not the outside temperature.

I didn't read the newspaper for the forecast or use what was the forecase from the previous evening's news since I didn't read the paper nor did I watch news. Cubs on WGN is all I remember, really. Maybe some WTTW PBS stuff.

Anyway, there were always kids who'd shout ONE HUNDRED! over and over. Or others who'd shout ZERO over and over. (Nobody shouted SIXTY-NINE, so I guess nobody was pumping hormones into the water supply with the flouride).

Okay, I confess - I did this once or twice (or dozens of times), but the laughs got less and less each day kids would shout it out.... until it stopped entirely.

Even the mainstreamed retards picked up on the fact that it wasn't all that funny the thirty-second time around.

Except one.

One day, we all thought the shouting of "100!" was over. Kids were actually asking their parents for thermometers and writing down the temperature when they left home for school, some were going to the library for the school and reading the temperature from the weather sensor there (I just liked watching the LEDs race around for the windcock), and one even asked to put a thermometer outside the window of the kindergarten classroom.

So everybody's giving out actual temperature readings from the morning. Never mind that the world tends to heat up a bit when the sun comes up, or cools off when the clouds come, but it's still an earnest attempt to get real numbers.

Except the ONE HUNDRED and ZERO shouter. A kid for whom safety scissors weren't safe enough, paste wasn't disgusting-tasting enough, and the urinal just wasn't quite wide enough.

That last bit is important. Not because the kid would spray randomly like a wild fire hose in the bathrooms, but because the urinal just wasn't wide enough for us to grab him and give him a swirly in it for being such a retarded ZERO! HUNDRED! ZERO! spaz.

We ended up using a toilet, and we told him every day he shouted ZERO or HUNDRED we'd give it to him again.

It took just one follow-up swirly to get the kid to stop.

Well, the threat of one. Because unlike the first time, someone had taken a huge crap in the bowl.

That's when the kid stopped. Didn't shout ONE HUNDRED! Didn't shout ZERO!

Didn't shout anything. Just sat there during Temperature Time, and clapped along with everyone else when the temperature was finally set.

So when I see stuff like this:

Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad said Thursday the solution to the Middle East crisis was to destroy Israel, Iranian state media reported.

I seriously wonder about the peaceful intentions of the Organization of Islamic States and its member countries, NGO's, and fronts for terrorist organizations.

I wonder why none of them have looked at each other, mumbled at this psycho retard shouting the Islamic equivalent of ZERO! HUNDRED! ignorant extremism, how savage and bloodthirsty it makes them look, and made plans to drag him to the bathrooms to give him a swirly. (Or the diplomatic equivalent thereof.)

And then I realize... there's one of two reasons why they're not doing it:

• They're all importent chickenshit diplomats who are there just to posture, shout, and debate endlessly.

  or

• They agree with him, and when the mcirophones are off they ask how much they can contribute to the effort to destroy Israel.

And that's where the Western World has to stand fast, and be prepared to issue out copious amounts of swirlies to the extremist spazzes and their supporters.

Deal with reality, Islamic World. Deal with reality or get dealt a shower that not even your turban can hope to contain the stench of.

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go to the bathroom.

We sell lots of servers. Can't throw a rock without hitting one, not that we're supposed to be throwing rocks.

We also sell a few web sites. Not whole servers, but sites on servers.

There are several levels of site hosting, the simplest of which comes with web and mail and not much else.

The most complex package has a few other extras, including an SQL database or two if you need them.

Now, some folks need those databases, so they call up to buy one of them.

You'd think the Sales Department would know the products they're selling, right?

Wrong. Customer bitches up a storm that he talked to Sales and wanted a site with a database, and they told him to get the simplex site package instead of the most complex one.

He'll be moved from the simple site server to the complex site server, suffer through the propagation period, etc. Probably get some kind of credit, and then he'll be told "No, we're not going to charge you at the simple rate despite the Salesperson telling you the wrong thing."

That happens a lot, folks trying to get something for nothing. Cheapasses.

But this endless cycle of mistake-correction... I don't know whether this reflects badly on the Sales staff as ignorant of the offerings, or if it reflects badly on the web site for not spelling out explicitly what each package contains so folks don't need to ask questions of a potentially flawed human. With just a little effort and going back through the questions people ask to build a real FAQ, the site would have the right answer each and every time.

Nah. That would make too much sense.

I didn't make the Houstonist Gathering yesterday because:

• The 9 coming home was delayed by almost an hour.
• I got home and felt like eating fried rice.
• I wanted to watch the game at home.
• I had good Daddy-Kitty time with Piper that morning and thought Piper wanted some good Daddy-Kitty time when I got home. (I was right)
• The sink was clogged the moment I walked in the door wand wanted to take care of that right then and there.

Which is a long way of saying "I didn't fuckin' feel like it."

However, there is a Geek Gathering at Tropioca tomorrow at 7PM, so we'll see if I have the gumption to crawl over there. I've got a lot of Atlas Shrugged to read, and they have some very comfy chairs there.

Maybe I'll bake some bread for it when I get home tonight (unless the sink's clogged again).

Someone says "packet-sniffer" and you hear something slightly different.

"What did you say?"
"Packet sniffer."
"Oh. Okay."
"Wait... what do you think I said?"
"Something completely different."

But then, I'm sure there's at least one of those in the Datacenter, too.

Takes all kinds, you know.

Enough of this madness. Time to flap my arms and leap off of the cliff for home.

(Via BlogHouston)

METRO CEO Frank Wilson doesn't eat his own dog food:

The Metropolitan Transit Authority revealed Thursday that the raise it voted for July 20 for President and CEO Frank Wilson brings his annual salary to $279,400, a 10 percent increase.

The raise is retroactive to May 1, the date of his employment in 2004. Wilson was hired at $254,000 a year with a five-year contract that allowed for increases. He did not receive a raise after his first year on the job.

The present contract runs through April 30, 2010, and includes pension and benefits, $1,030 monthly car allowance, five weeks' vacation, two weeks' sick leave and membership in the Houston Club.

I wonder if Frank leases a car from board member George DeMontrond.

I found twenty bucks in my pants this morning.

Of all the things to find in your pants, twenty bucks is a good thing.

How it got there...

I have no idea.

There was a raid on a Jericho prison and six Palestinian inmates accused of murder and terrorism were killed.

Why is there no public outcry? Because they were killed by Palestinians, not the Israeli security forces.

What does this say about the MSM mantra: "It's only terrorism when Palestinians are the victim" ?

Apparently, Clear Channel has replicated Chris Baker's shitty unblog so that Chris Charlie Pallilo could have his very own shitty unblog.

Gee, I can't wait for the shitty Debra Duncan blog.

When I was growing up, I had a friend who was in a strict Lutheran family. Whereas we were barely raised Jewish (aka Reform School Judaism), so there weren't any deranged religious authorities telling us good from evil, right from wrong. We made our own judgement calls.

For some odd reason, he wasn't allowed to have dice for those evil, wicked role-playing games. So he made his own by folding up paper and taping it into cubes.

Baker's and Pallilo's blogs are just like those pathetic folded-up, cheap paper dice. They may want to play, but without decent equipment they'll just be distractions from the core audience, not ways to enhance the conversation into a 24/7 online discussion.

They don't add value to the overall product. Instead, they end up showing contempt for the online audience by packaging something that clearly isn't a blog as a blog.

Why their Clear Channel masters can't see that, I don't know. I hope this is all just a public alpha.

I was just told that Michael Berry was doing a fine job of slamming the way METRO's Frank Wilson got his pay raise on KPRC-950.

And yet, all KPRC has podcasts of right now is Pat Gray.

Audience unfriendly blogs. Hit-and-miss podcasting of shows.

What the hell is Ken Charles' problem?

Doesn't Frisky look dapper in his new hat?

He'll be meeting up with his droogs a bit later for a bit of the ultra-violence.

You can find more examples of Friday catblogging by searching a blog search engine such as Technorati for "catblogging."

You can also find a roundup of catblogging posts at The Friday Ark, located at The Modulator blog.

On Saturday, Eatstuff usually does a roundup.

Then, when the weekend is nearly over, head over to The Carnival of the Cats for more kitty goodness.

There's also Flickr Groups called Furry Friday and Friday Catblogging.

Anybody I miss?

Let's do a roundup of Friday Jewcasts...

• Israelisms sees Charley celebrate his birthday for the second time and continues to update us on how their daughter is doing in the Army. And I hear a rumor that Carol may be writing a piece for another podcast I'm well familiar with.

• Israellycool is MIA, but at least he's lvieblogging the conflict. Hit his tipjar, eh.

• Marty Roberts continues to hammer out the updates.

Any I missed?

I only have four stories for this week's Weekly Challenge for the 100 Word Stories podcast. Also, Elisson's in the lead in the poll for last week's podcast, so it's looking like he will choose the topic for next week.

Cynthia McKinney may be on the ropes after the most recent debate with Hank Johnson.

Time to make good on an earlier promise.

It's been four days since the new email system was put in place, and the mailbox for support is still dead in the water.

Many other business-critical shared mailboxes are still dead, and nothing's being done about them.

The developer in charge of the mail project apparently came to Houston, looked around, and went back to Dallas.

Was anything done?

Nope.

Were they told about the problem?

Who knows.

If they were told, did it have any impact on them?

Obviously not, since it isn't working.

Customers are complaining here and there that they've written and haven't gotten a response.

Gee, I wonder why.

A webhosting company that can't get email? Next thing you know, you won't be able to send letters to the post office or call the phone company.

Whatever. Time to hit the deli and get myself a nice bowl of soup and a salad.

I declare that they will be delicious.