This Blog Is Full Of Crap

I've decided to try something new by starting Kitty Movie Monday.

Just as Friday is the day for Friday Catblogging and Sunday is Carnival of the Cats Day, every Monday I will post a Kitty Movie.

Today's Kitty Movie starts Nardo hunting a feather through the grass:

And, no, I will not shout SHOW US YOUR KITTIES!

Anyone wishing to participate in Kitty Movie Monday are welcome to post links to their Kitty Movies in the comments and, if they're up at YouTube, add them to the Kitty Movie Monday Youtube Group.

Go ahead and strike. March until Judgement Day for all we care.

We don't need you illegal immigrants because we already have your replacements in position and ready to take over.

The route I take to work is the 9 to Downtown, and then the 102 up North. The 102 goes by the Immigration Office along the Beltway, so there's usually plenty of individuals from foreign lands occupying seats and clutching their worldly goods, looking to fill out forms for the whole day and get annoyed by professional annoyers.

The 9 had a few of the usual worn, Hispanic-looking faces, but not as many as usual. So the bus was ungoldly early, because the drivers don't know how to check their watch and slow themselves down to make up for low passenger loads. Look into it, please, Frank Wilson, okay? It's called a timetable.

And there weren't any of the shuffling huddled masses on the 102, which made for a much quicker ride than usual.

I'm sure that heading back into Downtown will be a pain in the ass if these folks demonstrate like they claim they will. And that's why I always bring a book and something to write my story ideas down on.

In honor of today's protests by illegal aliens across the country, I've dedicated today's 100 word story to them and their cause.

Also, I've started adding promos for podcasts that I listen to at the end of each podcast. Since the only promo I've found so far is for Israelisms, I'll just keep plugging Charley and Carol over and over again until Podictionary and SNN and Marty Roberts' Show and Israellycool put some together.

The Fresh Media Works intro helps add to the motonony, but it's getting harder to add to the beginning of the podcast when I see that 100 Word Stories hasn't appeared in their Storytelling second yet. Maybe I need to write C-Dogg and offer to help maintain the front page there?

I'd include one for IMAO's podcast, but hasn't that podcast podfaded? It's been forever since they had a new episode.

Who cares what I think about a new "Revenge of the Nerds" sequel? It's time for a new feature of TBIFOC called Ask The Cats!

Kyle Newman has signed on to direct "Revenge of the Nerds," a remake of the seminal 1984 teen comedy.

The project is being developed by Fox Atomic, the new young-adult genre division of Fox Filmed Entertainment. The studio is eyeing a summer start date.

What do you think about a new "Revenge of the Nerds" sequel??

Piper: *sniff* *sniff* That's a great idea! Wow! Isn't Hollywood amazing! *sniff* *sniff* Know what would be even better? Sequels to Police Academy... and Robocop... and Friday the Thirteenth... and Under Siege... and.. *sniff* *sniff*	Frisky: I think I just lost my appetite.
Nardo: Three cheers for NASA for successfully catching up to Anthony Edwards and retrieving his career after he'd fallen off the face of the earth.	KT: Oh, there'll be some revenge all right. You just wait.
Beezer:I am *not* a nerd!! I'm a part-time computer advisor for my person. What?? oh, some idiotic movie. Nevermind.	Puss Puss: is curtis armstrong(booger) involved? because if he's not there, nothing could pique my interest about a nerds movie, unless there are cat nerds, natch. now to important things: hey, where's my food, opposable thumb boy?
Tabitha: Nothing wrong with being a nerd! However, the world CAN do without crappy 80s teen films! More films about cats! Fewer about teens! Unless they're teenage cats, of course.	What does your cat think?

Thank you, kittycats.

Does your cat have an opinion on the subject? Then send the following to askthecats (at) isfullofcrap.com:

• A photo of the cat or cats in JPEG format (If you've already submitted the photo, it will be in my gallery archive. Just let me know the URL of the thumbnail photo to use again)
• Their opinion, whether it pertains to the subject or not
• (optional) Your blog's URL

And you'll see them up here with the rest of the kittycats!

Remember those rolling blackouts and how the state's power authority said that they had plenty of power and wouldn't need to do that crap again?

Sure, we all knew they were full of crap, but is it happening today? Or is that just an isolated incident of "protestors" skipping work, hitting the cervesa stash early, and smacking into power poles?

I'm looking at ERCOT's site and flipping through stats, but it all reads like stereo instructions to me.

Oh well.

Every time I read an email or a tricket and see that someone's set their password to "password" I want to leap up, scream, and hurl a spear through their chest.

Idiots. Careless idiots.

All-Star Voting is now available online.

I did not just do an Astros-only ballot. Berkman and Ausmus were easy selections, sure, but the rest will take some time.

Sadly, there's no way to vote for Chad Qualls. Maybe I'll write him in as an outfielder, considering the amount of business he gives them.

Wait... a profile in Time Magazine of a figure in the Catholic Church that wasn't written by Andrew Sullivan?

Maybe they just edited out all of the gay marriage references and found nothing left but a byline?

Q: Why is most coverage of illegal alien protestors today being done from helicopter shots?

My ears have stopped ringing.

I guess nobody's running any leaf-blowers in town.

Okay, it's time for me to give up the pride and shamelessly beg.

The 100 Word Stories has no ratings or reviews at Yahoo Podcasting. There are no ratings at Podcast Pickle. And the last time someone wrote a comment for Podcast Alley, Oliver freaking Willis was doing a show.

I don't care if it's a good review or bad review. One star, five stars, an assload of stars... does it really matter? The big podcasts will squeeze out the little podcasts, and from the looks of the stats, my biggest audience is from freaking China.

Imagine... over one billion Chinese learning about American English from me and my minions composing 100 word stories.

Just to provide additional incentive...

This cat doesn't get a treat when I get home if you don't review or rate.

UPDATE:
I'm going to work on my own promo sometime this week, and I'm looking forward to more promos from other podcasters to include at the tail-end of the 100 word stories.

I don't care how insane I am, I will never do this.

Okay, so the 102 was lighter than normal on the way to work, so it stands to reason it was light on the way home, right?

Yup. Light load. Got to Downtown fast.

Unlike the protests in April that screwed traffic to holy hell with an Astros game letting out and Rush Hours, this time around the protestors and rallyers went to Memorial Park to make nuisances of themselves there. Which, gladly, left Downtown quite tranquil as I wandered around at 16:45 today.

No nuisances at City Hall. No nuisances anywhere.

I decided to do the Dangertrain to Richmond route to check on a few restaurants. And sure enough...

El Centro along Main was closed today. I've been to the other places downtown, but not there. But nothing else, so their evening business went elsewhere. Gee, that sure showed us gringos.

Was Cabo's open? Didn't notice. Gee, I'm reeling from the impact, folks.

I hopped off the train at Wheeler and walked to the stop for the 25. A nearly full bus, with a few bums with big heftybags taking up seats, so I stood by the back door.

It comes as no surprise that Ninfas was closed:

Mama Ninfa was a strong advocate of everything, including business-sense. Good rice, good tortillas, quality product in a cozy atmosphere like you're in the dining room next to the kitchen. Family atmosphere. But when her restaurant expanded beyond the original location to Kirby and other locations, the food was downright awful and the atmosphere bland and rustic in a bad way. Cheesy grease in a bowl, greasy chips, and fajitas with horsemeat. You come away from a meal needing a shower with a scrubbing brush and Dawn Foam to cut through the slick on your skin.

I've said it time and time again: to hell with Mama Ninfa and the franchise-crap her retarded progeny peddle in her name and go to Chuy's, Goode Tacqueria, or Cafe Adobe instead.

And, yes, I'm aware that a local station did a live shot at 7:30 in front of a restaurant that had a WE OPEN AT 11 sign in front of it. Local MSM franchises get retarded during Sweeps Month.

By the way...

So we're inside Kennealy's watching the Astros blow a lead, retake the lead, then blow it again when Garner leaves Wheeler to hang out to dry and keeps Ensberg and Wilson whiffing away at the plate.

I don't care what his stats are. Turnbow is not a good pitcher. Just let him hurl and eventually he'll sail it away from the catcher. His Inner Mitch Williams will come out, just as Lidge's has.

Anyway, we were supposed to meet up with Elisson and we're wondering where he is... minutes go by... it turns 20:00... so I decide to call him.

He's on the back patio of Kennealy's. The waitress/barmaid/serving wench obviously didn't quite get my description right.

Oh well. Shit happens. I mean...

Now I need to wash my mouth out with soap:

Yes, that's cat-shaped soaps from Rahel, straight from the second-holiest of all lands (Ira's Hot Dogs in Northbrook is the holiest, although Chuy's in River Oaks comes close to both). I'd have washed this morning with them and reported on their greatness, but I was too zonker in the morning to remember to do so. Instead, I must remain ignorant of the true scope of the gift's greatness when I express my gratitutde for their construction and arrival.

Oh, and I think the guy working the pizza ovens is from Another Land. He was on duty, sliding out the pizzas in the most jolly of moods, ya just want to hug the happy lug.

Hamas Prime Minister Ismail Haniyeh needs to read up on his Biology and Zoology when he warns his minions not to attack the Karni Crossing...

Palestinian Prime Minister and Hamas leader Ismail Haniyeh appealed for the first time on Tuesday to militants not to launch attacks against border crossings needed to bring vital humanitarian supplies into the Gaza Strip.

Haniyeh's call to exclude border crossings from attacks came nearly a week after Palestinian security forces said they seized an explosives-laden car near the Karni commercial crossing on the border with
Israel after exchanging fire with its occupants.

"I stress the need to protect the vital interests of the Palestinian people, including the crossings that represent the veins and the lungs of the Palestinian people," Haniyeh said at the beginning of a cabinet meeting.

Veins? Lungs?

As the proud owner of a degree in Biology, I tsk tsk at this ignorant comparison. Veins would be transport within the body, like roads. Lungs would be processing goods for distribution or refinement, like warehouses or factories.

Actually, the crossings are more like a mosquito's proboscis through which the parasitic bug sucks at the lifeblood of its host, vomiting out digestive toxins to corrupt the host's flesh.

Unless you think of the crossings as the cloaca of Gaza, the asshole through which they shit out hordes of dayworkers to the industrial zones.

Or you can think of them as the mouths, sucking and snarling and gnawing, begging to get kicked in the teeth now and then when it bites.

Where Richmond and Kirby intersect, there are three "Mexican" restaurants: Ninfa's, Ruichi's, and Pappasitos.

Ninfas, the purveyor of greasy garbage in an atmosphere less tolerable that Venus, was closed. Physicians across town should rejoice about this vile health hazard locking its doors and hosing out the troughs for a day.

On the other hand, Ruichi's and Pappasito's were open. I'm no fan of either, but they're certainly not worse than Ninfa's.

Now here's the question: is this an indicator that Ninfa's employs illegals who went to the rally for "their rights" or does it mean that Ruichi's and Pappasito's are suspect because illegals would be too afraid to go to the rally for fear of imaginary ICE agents and HPD that have been emasculated by sanctuary city policies?

I ponder such things when I'm drinkin British ale in an IRish pub. Three times in a row the Guinness has either been out, broken, or substandard by the tapsman's tastes.

Who cares what I think about Richard Dreyfuss whining about shaped news? It's time for a new feature of TBIFOC called Ask The Cats!

Richard Dreyfuss has challenged the establishment for decades and now the maverick actor and activist is taking on the mainstream media.

The Oscar-winning star says an obsession with delivering instantaneous news and images provides too little context for audiences to reflect and understand what is happening in the world.

"There is no room to pause, no room to think," Dreyfuss, who starred in films ranging from "Jaws" to "Mr Holland's Opus" told Reuters in a recent telephone interview.

"We don't build into our system of thoughts the need to explain, the media doesn't build that into its transmission of knowledge and information."

That creates what Dreyfuss calls "shaped news" -- a version of events according to how the mainstream media want audiences to see what happened, and a violation of journalism's core value of objectivity.

What do you think about Richard Dreyfuss whining about shaped news?

Piper: Does Richard Dreyfuss realize that he's talking to the same manipulative profit-hungry propagandists rushing to chop his outburst into sound bites and broadcast them instantaneously without context to the celebrity-obsessed ignorant masses?	Nardo: He's in the remake of Poseidon Adventure. Here's my imitation of the Poseidon.
Frisky: Actors who say they're activists should be called "actorvists." Because it's a funny word. Can I have a hug?	Beezer: Like this Nardo??
What does your cat think?

Thank you, kittycats.

Does your cat have an opinion on the subject? Then send the following to askthecats (at) isfullofcrap.com:

• A photo of the cat or cats in JPEG format (If you've already submitted the photo, it will be in my gallery archive. Just let me know the URL of the thumbnail photo to use again)
• Their opinion, whether it pertains to the subject or not
• (optional) Your blog's URL

And you'll see them up here with the rest of the kittycats!

On nights when I'm coming home from baseball games, I either take the Danger Train down to Wheeler and catch the 25 or take the Danger Train down to Museum District to catch the 65.

There's a shelter across from the MFAH, but the stop I typically use at Wheeler is just a post next to the lacrosse and soccer field of St... Someone's school.

Well, something nice showed up since I was last there:

A nice concrete bench to sit on while waiting for the 25.

Now, as for the 102, there are no benches or shelters at the stops along Benmar. There's a shelter for the 56 across the street, but by the time you see the 102, you'd have to get up, run across the street, risk getting run over by any number of rap-thudding hoods, and pray the driver doesn't take the corner fast.

It would be nice to have something at that corner, although I don't mind sitting in the grass and picking a few blades, enjoying a few pages of whatever book I've got while listening to Chris Baker shout at the world.

In a thrilling soundscape, Mikeypod takes on the Chinese Consulate over animal rights.

Cats being skinned alive?

I'd better make sure Frisky doesn't send Nardo to China.

By the way, Mikeypod has a promo, so that means I'll be rotating his promo and Charley's promo. Until another promo shows up in my mailbox, which means I'll increase the rotation.

One of the products we peddle as a control panel for web servers is CPanel. And compared to other control panels, CPanel's help offerings fail to suck more often than not.

So when a guy gets an error message telling him that he hasn't set up his hostname yet, I can quickly point him to a step-by-step help page.

See? Simple and easy. Four steps... one two three four. Now take a piece of candy from the jar and skip along.

I remeber pulling a stunt called Nose Day a long time ago. I tried to solve every problem using only my nose.

All things considered, it's not hard to hit the F1 key on your keyboard with your nose. Try it sometime. You might even like it.

(Via Philly Intelligencer)

Let's say you're fed up with the Mexicanization of America and don't care to celebrate a Mexican victory over the French.

Fine. Then why not celebrate International No Pants Day instead.

But make sure nobody steals your pants when you're not looking...

"I have stolen pants!"

Damn cats!

The Palestinian Space Program launched a Qassam rocket at Israel today. But, thankfully, it ended up landing on Palestinians instead:

Two Palestinian policemen were killed in a rocket strike Tuesday on a building at the Palestinian national security compound in the northern Gaza Strip.

Palestinian sources said that the rocket hit the base of the Third Brigade of the Palestinian national security forces, east of the Jabaliya refugee camp.

The rocket was apparently a locally made Qassam rocket, used by Palestinians to fire on southern Israel. The blast caused the one-story building to collapse.

So why is this guy crying?

Why is this shrew wailing?

Because the Qassam didn't land on Jews.

I couldn't think of a more appropriate landing spot for a Qassam than a Palestinian "police" station. After all, those are the assholes that are supposed to be out stopping the rocket-launching assholes from launching rockets.

You know, it's a strange sort of irony that if they'd been out doing the job that Abbas claims they're doing and that they're obligated to do as the very first step in the Road Map, this would not have happened.

Suck on it, pal. And if you don't go out and stop these rocket-launching assholes, may you be next.

No company currently lists their stock under the symbol "RTFM" or "GTFO" or "STFU."

Ohio tries to ruin it for everyone by nearly blowing a lethal injection execution:

The Ohio Department of Corrections said Joseph Clark, 57, was pronounced dead at 11:26 a.m. EDT (4:26 p.m. British Time) following an injection of lethal chemicals at the Southern Ohio Correctional Institution in Lucasville.

Spokeswoman Andrea Dean said the execution was delayed about 90 minutes because technicians had trouble initially finding a site in Clark's arm for the intravenous line carrying the chemicals.

Then shortly after the poisons were supposed to have been pumping into his body, she said, he sat up saying, "It's not working. It's not working."

Officials determined that a vein had collapsed. Curtains were closed to block witnesses' view until technicians found a vein in his other arm. They were then parted to reveal him dying, witnesses said.

Forget about humane. It's time we used some new methods of execution.

My favorites:

• Strap the condemned to a table, and then let the next guy on Death Row beat him to death with a sledgehammer.

• Lay a Slip-n-Slide over the edge of a very tall building, then make the prisoner run and belly-flop along it. If he doesn't run, shoot him.

• Put him in an airtight container for a day. Do not poke holes in the top.

• Run through a human-sized circular slicer feet-first.

• Drop from an airplane with a parachute. Then let three biplanes take turns shooting at him. He's more than welcome to cut the straps of the parachute.

What are your favorites? Which would you purchase if you had your choice between a public execution on Pay-Per-View or David Blaine?

Heck, which would you like to see used on David Blaine?

People often purchase upgrades for their servers, whether it be more memory or additional hard drive space or a network card firewall or some other bell and whistle they need.

Not want. Nobody ever gets what they want. They get what they need. You don't risk downtime for a mere want.

To install a new device or item, the server has to come down. It is a Fact Of Life. Servers do not like little monkeypaws in them while they still have the power of harnesses lightning couring through their silicon gizzards, you know.

Now, a few lucky winners of the Derangement Lottery are under the delusion that these things can be done while keeping the server running. It's like changing your car's engine out while you're driving it.

Or the Internet just can't survive without their sites up and running, their customers will all flee if things are unavailable while they're all asleep at 02:00, so they can't possibly have a nanosecond of downtime to put that memory in. This is despite the fact that their server is on the verge of locking up because of swap file accesses, which may corrupt their system and cause a long period of downtime as they restore from backups (they do have backups, right?)

Hey, wasn't there an announcement of hotswappable-memory, why don't they have it in their server? *guffaw* Right and that bacon you're eating is coming from bioengineered fat-free Flying Pig

Whether by going through with the shutdown and upgrade or crash and upgrade, they eventually get done. And all is well in the world.

Drayton needs to spend a minimum prorated salary of $18 million to get Roger Back.

Don't think of it as $18 million to get Roger. Think of it as $18 million to get rid of Freaky Zeke Astacio.

When I saw this headline about a Prime Minister eating babies, I figured it was some cartoon in The Guardian with Ehud Olmert taking Ariel Sharon's place...

A mocking announcement about Canada's prime minister, "Stephen Harper Eats Babies," was flashed on electronic advertising signs on Toronto area commuter trains for several days, and technicians were still scrambling on Tuesday to get the signs fixed.

"Stephen Harper Eats Babies. Stephen Harper Eats Babies. Stephen Harper Eats Babies," started to appear every three seconds across some LED screens late last week. The signs usually carry transit updates and advertising spots.

"It appears that this was a case of electronic vandalism," said Stephanie Sorensen, corporate communications and media specialist for the GO Transit commuter system. "We assume it was a hacker. We haven't identified the person who did this but we're working closely with the contractor who runs the signs to fix the problem."

It was Canada's Prime Minister?

Well, that's a relief.

It could be worse.

There could be snakes on the plane.

And, apparently, so is his toilet:

London mayor Ken Livingstone has lifted the lid on his toilet habits, revealing he has not flushed the loo in 15 months.

Livingstone said there was "no earthly reason" to bother if there was just urine in the bowl, he said Tuesday.

He said people were misguided about what urine actually is -- and said bluebottles steer well clear of his.

The mayor flushed out any misconceptions and tried to spark a chain reaction as he urged Londoners to waste less water when getting rid of their own waste.

Okay, so I didn't flush at work today, either. The automatic flushing robot thingy failed, leaving a large amount of crap in the toilet. I kinda felt bad for leaving it full without warning, but there's really not much that can be done.

I guess that's what the blinking red light on the unit means.

Now I know.

I checked the garden this afternoon and spotted my first cayenne pepper of the season:

Yay!

Also, I may have avoided the curse of the poblanos by giving this year's poblano a deeper pot to grow in:

Poblanos still hate me, though. I am prepared to be crestfallen.

So far, Brad Ausmus has gone 3 for 3 with a walk and what seemed like a blown baserunning move which ended up giving Adam Everett an other RBI.

Oh, and he's stolen two bases. One was legit, one was a cheap trot to second after a bad pitch.

Lamb is doing great. Maybe Morgan should break his hand again?

Looks like Aaron got knocked on his virtual ass again.

I wonder how long it will be before the hackers go after the Dead Pool because he's there.

NOTE TO SELF: Back up sites every day

I'd been wondering why Wheels was going out over and over despite getting beaten around. Did Qualls get sent down to Roundrock in the dead of night with Freaky Zeke in a gunny sack?

I guess my Google News RSS feed on Chad Qualls failed me in catching this headline:

More opportunity might come Borkowski's way in Milwaukee, with Chad Qualls missing the two-game series to attend his grandfather's funeral in California.

IFOC's deepest condolences and sympathies go out to the Qualls Family. The Jersey will hang at half-staff from the chair that Frisky hides under during games.

(Via McGuff)

Lost Remote is reporting that local Fox O&O station web sites are in beta.

I don't see any RSS feeds.

Wake up, Fox. It's 2006. Congratulations on twiddling your thumbs for years to produce this malformed, graphics-and-flash-intense abortion.

(Now I'm having iXL and Starwave flashbacks. I'd better hold on to something before I wig out.)

On the way home yesterday, the 9 was not only late but SRO for once. I guess an earlier run of the 9 didn't make it or something, and the bus only runs every thirty minutes or so (with a forty minute gap between 16:00 and 16:40 to louse things up right before Rush Hour.

Well, the driver was the herky-jerky driver who loves pitching standing passengers about the bus, zipping from stop to stop and grumbling for people to hurry up and get on, or if they're waiting at the stop while the bus is stuck behind a few cars at the stoplight, you'd better run up to the door before he leaves you behind.

This time around, with every seat full and people standing but not jam-packed together. Still, the driver decided he was full and blew past a few stops along Westpark without even telling the people there he was full. Couldn't catch the sign to see if he'd engaged the THIS BUS IS FULL notice I've seen on commuter buses now and then.

I'd have snapped a photo of his on his cell phone, but I was too far back and I think he's graduating from college this summer. I'd hate to stress out a driver trying to get a degree and get the hell away from METRO, so if Frank Wilson's reading this thing and wants me to name names, I'm talking about your mother, Frank.

I thought about the "Westpark Corridor" route of the University Line. I asked a few people on a 25 once what they'd do if METRO ran rail down Westpark and cut back the 25 like they cut back other adjacent routes when the Red Line was built. You know, because they can walk from train stops on Westpark under the freeway according to certain elected geniuses totally oblivious to the real situation on the ground in the area.

Despite my frequent use of profanity here, I still can't repeat what some of them said.

I keep a profile set up with the catcams that drops all the cameras by the Bourbon Street cam and increases the capture frequency to once every second instead of once every thirty seconds.

This is supposed to capture any incidents between Piper and Nardo during dinnertime. However, when Nardo and Piper are done with dinner, Frisky runs out from his own plate in the kitchen to lick off the gravy...

This is when I get to pick up the placemat and wash it off, although I tell Frisky that he could just as easily serve as a self-cleaning fluffy orange sponge.

My extensive studies to create the 100 word stories on Abraham Lincoln finally pay off... sorta.

While Condi Rice and George Bush keep repeating that they want to give humanitarian aid to the Palestinians and support the Hamas-controlled Palestinian Authority the moment they recognize Israel and renounce violence, Hamas leaders living among their financial sponsors in Damascus keep shrieking for blood and death and destruction of innocent Jewish civilian lives...

Hamas supremo Khaled Meshaal has defended Palestinian suicide bombings as a "natural right" while denouncing what he called Washington's ambitions to dominate the Middle East.

"Our enemies ... don't understand that a suicide operation ... is a natural right," the exiled leader told students in Damascus, adding that Palestinians live "under Israeli occupation and have the right to fight and defend themselves."

What don't you understand? Is there something lost in translation? Do you need the batteries in your hearing aids replaced?

Appeasement-addicted Idiots like Kofi Annan, Jimmy Carter, and Jacques Chirac have repeatedly said that they condemn suicide bombings under any circumstances, but they keep offering a helping hand over and over in the deranged and deluded hope that Hamas will change.

And the empty threats to cut off aid by Bush and Rice are nothing more than a balsa-wood stick to a gigantic carrot when they fail to carry through on their threats, lowering the standards for aid every time the call for destruction by Hamas grows larger and larger.

Only when these appeasers have their hands cut off at the wrists by their would-be...

Wait. Hamas was a part of the bombing of the caravan in Gaza, weren't they?

Never mind. Even bloodied, they just get on their knees, open their mouths, and wait to hear the zippers open.

Who cares what I think about a request to raise the price of stamps by three cents? It's time for a new feature of TBIFOC called Ask The Cats!

The Postal Service said today it wants to raise the price of a first-class stamp by 3 cents -- to 42 cents -- and proposed a "forever" stamp that people could use as hedge against future rate increases.

The changes would take effect in the spring of 2007 if approved by the independent Postal Rate Commission.

"A forever stamp would help ease the transition to any future price adjustments," board Chairman James C. Miller III said.

Postmaster General John E. Potter said the agency would not be making a rate change if it were not necessary.

"The Postal Service is not immune to the cost pressures affecting every household and business in America," he said.

For example, each penny increase in the price of a gallon of gasoline costs the post office $8 million, and payroll, health expenses and other costs also have been rising.

And, unlike private delivery companies, the post office cannot simply add a fuel surcharge to its rates.

What do you think about a request to raise the price of stamps by three cents?

Frisky: Will the price of Food Stamps go up, too? I need this banana mailed to Africa.	Nardo: Grrr! Grrr! Kill the toy! Kill the toy! Grrrr!
Piper: The prices are going up again? Dammit, if only I could email my tried turds to Congress. Oh well, back to the litterbox for more.	Mycah: How much will it cost to get me to Tahiti?
What does your cat think?

Thank you, kittycats.

Does your cat have an opinion on the subject? Then send the following to askthecats (at) isfullofcrap.com:

• A photo of the cat or cats in JPEG format (If you've already submitted the photo, it will be in my gallery archive. Just let me know the URL of the thumbnail photo to use again)
• Their opinion, whether it pertains to the subject or not
• (optional) Your blog's URL

And you'll see them up here with the rest of the kittycats!

(Via InstaPundicast)
(Crossposted to Catcall)

To some involved in disaster planning, dealing with evacuees' pets may be a minor item. But to pet-owners in New Orleans last year, it was a life-of-death decision for their pets... or themselves if they decided to stay behind with their beloved furry friends.

So for all the bashing of Ray Nagin I've done in the past year, it's time to give him thumbs-up for correcting this horrible oversight:

The new plan also touches on a heart-wrenching decision evacuees faced ahead of Katrina: To board the buses, they had to leave their pets, and some refused to go without them. In the future, evacuees will be allowed to bring pets with them as long as they have some type of cage to safely put them in.

Many pets were abandoned before Katrina, and afterwards the rescuers weren't allowing people to bring pets with them on the thirteen-hours methods of shipping people out of town. This forced people to decide between abandoning their pet or staying behind and risking injury, disease or death.

Even after all this time, you still see attempts to place "Katrina Kitties" at various cat shows, shelters, and adoption centers.

When public transportation was lined up for getting people away from Galveston and Houston because of Rita, policymakers noticed that there was quite a bit of backlash from the No Pets policy during Katrina and efforts were made to make things more humane. Still, during the traffic jams, some morons let loose their dogs to "fend for themselves" causing issues on the crawling freeways out of town.

If Rita's course had stayed head-on towards Houston and for some reason I needed to use public evac (had the truck gassed up and packed), any person telling me I couldn't bring Piper, Nardo, and Frisky with me would have been verbally giving themselves their own death sentence.

Apparently, Reuters wants to show that Saudis not only want to silence and destroy American blogs critical of fundaamentalist Islam and the Saudi Royal Family, but apparently are inviting Saudi-run blogs to their doom, too:

Outspoken bloggers in ultraconservative Saudi Arabia said this week they fear that a new "official community" of Saudi bloggers was an attempt to threaten their freedom and anonymity.

The Internet has become a vibrant forum in Saudi Arabia for sounding off on political, social and economic issues with opinions impossible to express in the state-dominated media.

But the "Official Community of Saudi bloggers," or "Ocsab," wants to sideline Web writers known for their attacks on the Saudi royal family, government policies and religious zealotry. It has been heavily feted in the Saudi media.

"We want to let people know about blogging and develop the blogs that exist, if the blogs deserve it," said Raed al-Saeed, one of the Ocsab bloggers. "We want to encourage people to blog and to blog better, so that there is some ethics of blogging."

The community will offer to direct advertisers to the sites of new bloggers hosted on their site, but has a set of rules against attacks on the government or individuals.

And though it is seeking financial backing from the government, it will ensure the anonymity of members, Saeed said. He denied the authorities were behind the group.

Maybe this is what's keeping Houston bloggers from gathering together on a regular basis? Maybe they're worried that any attempt to establish a regular and unviersal Meetup will end up just being a trap set by HPD Chief Harold Hurtt, Mayor Bill White, METRO's Frank Wilson, the Houston Chronicle editorial board, and any number of frequent targets of criticism that wouldn't mind the independent voices of the Houston blogopshere to go silent?

Nah. That's just being paranoid. Besides, when you read about HPD pulling out a mobile command center from a neighborhood because illegal immigrants in the area are worried that they're going to get rounded up and stuck in the van when HPD has repeatedly flown the white flag of surrender at them, all it takes is a loud BOO! and furious waving of hands to scare many of these spineless types off. (If you don't get shot with a taser in the face, of course)

Despite my occasional attempts to organize such things and the massive effort of resistance instead of facilitation by some, I'll just give up at this point and salute the standard that Lone Star Times hoists on a regular basis.

If I'm going to waste time trying to herd cats, I'd perfer to do it literally with my own.

As I watch my little USB aquarium at my desk, I often wonder "What if I could fill this with queso dip and keep it constantly warm?"

Perhaps this USB aromatherapy thingy might work for that.

And then I realize, I've stumbled upon Everything USB.

My USB-controlled missiles? Feh! How about a USB girl-shooting cannon with 20 foot range? (I wonder if it can launch toy lizards or cat treats remotely)

Forget Tiny Elvis... what about USB Elvis? Just what the cats need... sleeping soundly on the rocking chair when Elvis starts up "Jailhouse Rock!"

You'll kiss a hundred bucks goodbye:

Okay, it's time for some fun.

I am announcing a $100 prize to the first sighting of a cat photo on a site with a .cat TLD.

And sure enough, Rob sends me this URL today.

Looks like a cat to me. Rob wins.

(So glad I kept some of the Pajamas Media ad money in reserve for that.)

For no reason whatsoever, Piper and Frisky resting after some intense play-time with the catnip rainbows:

I've been trying to turn this into a 100 word story all morning, but I guess I'll just have to rely on the afternoon ride home for inspiration.

Enless something jumps out at me during lunch. Stranger things have happened.

So, why hasn't there been a Full Of Crap Report on Shire Network News this past week?

Shire Network News will be off the air for two weeks, on the grounds that I'm going to be taking a break on a tropical island with beaches, palm trees, and drinks with tiny umbrellas in them and no offence, but I'm NOT bringing any work with me! Oh, and, um, the island has piss-poor internet services. Connections are slow and unreliable. Yeah, that's it. They'll swallow that. Did I just say that out loud?

That island wouldn't happen to be Tonga, would it?

"I said I wanted my martini shaken, not stirred. Shaken! Shaken!"
*RUMBLE*

Hey now, for a while, I thought I was going to be killed while liveblogging and podcasting a Category 5 hurricane named after a stupid Beatles tune.

New recruits to Mahmoud Abbas' Presidential Guard try out for the elite Shirtless Brigade:

I wholeheartedly approve of this kind of training. Not only does it make it easier to see if they have explosives strapped to their chests, but taking off clothes and lying flat on the ground prepares them for standard Border Police and IDF arrest procedures.

Word out of Gaza is that Hamas is working on a Top Secret No Pants Division to counter the Fateh Shirtless Brigade.

(Via Houstonist)

Houston's Touchdown Club is holding the Texans Awards Dinner tonight.

This is like the French Army asking the Germans if they can take a break from keeping their hands up so they can pass out ribbons and medals.

Louis Rukeyser and Earl Woods just cashed in their chips.

Who's next?

Who cares what I think about A Day Without Bloggers? It's time for a new feature of TBIFOC called Ask The Cats!

Could it be done?

Couldn't we show the evil MSM who's really boss that way?

I mean, we are the Internet, aren't we?

If for once we really got together -- left and right -- why, bloggers could put down their keyboards, lose their mice, remove their working pajamas, and take to the streets en masse!

What do you think about A Day Without Bloggers?

Nardo:	Piper:
Frisky:	What does your cat think?

Thank you, kittycats.

Does your cat have an opinion on the subject? Then send the following to askthecats (at) isfullofcrap.com:

• A photo of the cat or cats in JPEG format (If you've already submitted the photo, it will be in my gallery archive. Just let me know the URL of the thumbnail photo to use again)
• Their opinion, whether it pertains to the subject or not
• (optional) Your blog's URL

And you'll see them up here with the rest of the kittycats!

Just for the record, I had nothing to do with this effort by Houston Press, nor does he endorse it with the Mr. Crap Seal Of Approval.

The smackdown on Tillman is priceless, though, but why didn't they swap the Monopoly Guy with Mattress Mack jumping with a wad of cash in his hand?

Hamas is claiming that a cutoff of funding to the Palestinian Authority is "the real Holocaust."

Let me do the math:

Number of gold fillings ripped from Palestinian prisoners by Israelis = 0
Number of Palestinians castrated and used for lethal medical experiments by Israelis = 0
Number of Palestinians gassed to death by Israelis = 0
Number of Palestinians with numbers tattooed on their skin by Israelis = 0
Number of lamp shades or bars of soap made from Palestinian corpses by Israelis = 0
Number of Palestinians forced to work in camps until they die, then thrown in furnaces = 0
Making this crap up and screaming it over and over again so Reuters, AP, the New York Times, BBC. and CNN repeat your propaganda for you across the world = Priceless

There are some things money can't buy. For everything else, there's UNRWA... and USAID... and UNESCO... and UNICEF... and ICRC...

Wacky Zachy gets life. Anybody surprised?

I'm not. The system was set up so that a "perfect storm" of jurors and conditions would be met, and that storm just didn't happen.

So Wacky Zachy now lives the rest of his life, costing the taxpayers tens of thousands of dollars a year to warehouse, guard, feed, provide medical treatment for, etc and so forth.

I remember when Railroad Killer Anjel Resindez was captured and locked up. The lcoal media did everything they could to get an exclusive interview with him, and a certain local blond twit-reporter got her love notes and photos of per pet doggie published.

So, what lengths will reporters go to so they can get an interview with Wacky Zachy? What strings will they pull? What courts will they clog up with lawsuits and motions and berserk demands just so they can get a few ratings points and millions of dollars in advertising?

I saw an episode of Alton Brown a year or so ago about macaroni and cheese, and I bought some panko breadcrumbs to use in preparing his killer mac and cheese recipe.

Well, I never did make it... until tonight.

Holy freaking crap, that's good stuff.

Okay, so it takes a lot of effort and it makes a mess out of four measuring cups, two measuring spoons, my veggie chopper, my pasta boiler, a pan, and a casserole dish. But it's worth it.

Lidge pitching in ninth, two runs up, leadoff man gets on, and it's Pujols to the plate.

Ugh. Can't watch.

Old and busted: The snowcone maker we had. Hand-cranked, needed specially-frozen ice pucks.

New hotness: Rival's Treat Shoppe, which is electric powered and uses ordinary ice cubes.

Good shavings, and a lot less of a hassle than the old one.