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Turning the other cheek... for a cheek-rub.

Who will call for the beheading of the editorial board of The Onion for this blasphemy? Cat owners? Christians? Christian cat-owners?

A pet is a beloved part of your family, and as a Christian, you should do everything you can to guarantee that this valued member of your family receives the glorious eternal reward for which Christ gave His very life. Think of the alternative: your cat mired in darkness for eternity because you put off a 10-minute conversation.

My own cats accepted Jesus into their hearts before they even opened their eyes. The light of salvation has brightened their lives, but perhaps the most noticeable change has been in me. I am filled with warmth knowing their eternal souls have been saved.

To tell the truth, I think our dear-departed Edloe would like Jesus...

As long as he keeps multiplying the gefilte fish, of course.

UPDATE:

If you give your cat a rubber Jesus to play with, it will sense that there's more to this toy.

Does anybody sell rubber Jesuses? I don't see anything on Froogle for them.

Comments (8)

What about the plastic baby Jesus figures from leftover King Cakes? Will that convert my cats?

No one in our household is a Christian so GK will have rely on the kind gentlemen who occasionally knock on the door to tell that Jesus loves us.

But I doubt GK will wind up in hell. Satan will decline the responsibility.

Oh, my god and of course, there's always eBay.

Don't forget "Buddy Christ".

Don't forget "Buddy Christ".

Mariann:

I know for a fact my Tripper won't go to hell because Satan is afraid she'll take over.

If Jesus worships me I will of course return the favor, provided of course that such collusion is not prohibited by anti-trust laws.

"Why isn't that crucifix carpeted so we can use it as a scratching post?"

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