This Blog Is Full Of Crap

While Houston's Livestock Show and Rodeo got started this past week, Nashville just finished playing host to National Wild Turkey Federation’s Convention and Sport Show:

Among the many events at the convention are the Wild Turkey Bourbon/NWTF Grand National Calling Championships. More than 150 callers entered these contests. Matt Van Cise of Grand Valley, Pa., finished first in the Wild Turkey Bourbon Senior Division, making him a two-time champion. Van Cise won his first Grand National last year.

"Winning for a second time is unbelievable," said Van Cise, of Grand Valley, Pa., who will appear on “The Late Show with David Letterman” tonight. "The second time is amazing. Holding this trophy over my head makes up for all the hours of practice."

Since I'm an expert on Turkey Calling, I thought I'd share some advice with you, the adoring public:

• When calling turkey, be sure to use the International Dialing Code of 90. (Not to be confused with calling Turkmenistan, which is 993)

• If you do not want to be interrupted while calling turkey, be sure to turn off Turkey Call Waiting.

• Should you be away from your phone while expecting a turkey to call you back, use Turkey Call Forwarding.

• Looking to call two turkeys at once? Try Turkey 3-Way Calling.

Have fun!