LONDON (IFOC) - Oil prices surged over $61 per barrel today on the news of Saudi Arabian King Fahd's death.
"Fahd was the perfect stabilizing factor in the oil markets," said one commodities expert. "Compared to all the maniacs there are in the world sitting on oilfields, a brain-dead Arab vegetable was quite possibly the best manager they could come up with to handle their production quotas over the past forty years."
Pressure has been mounting on the Saudi Arabian Royal Family to appoint a similarly-incapacitated individual to head up the Kingdom and maintain the limp-handed approach to controlling the oil markets.
"We'd even settle for Fahd's corpse at this point," said the head of the London Exchange Branch. "Just as long as they don't get any bright ideas like they had in 1973, we'll pay anything as long as there's something still there to buy."