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Well, that's it for Fahd.
Clown Prince Abdullah takes over.
If you're a part of Meryl Yourish's Dead Dictator Fund, get your $25 to Magen David Adom.
Oh, and despite my being a little late getting ready for work, all the kitties got treats. Expect an Ask The Cats shortly.
Okay, so we're all celebrating Fahd's demise. What better way to celebrate than to tune in to IMAO's Podcast!
Ready? Here we go!
Oh, and if your kid is having a hard time getting to sleep, this week we've got The Grasshopper and the Ant from your friend... um... er...
What's-his-face. You know, the guy in the moon's surface.
JimK recovers from his hosting disaster to bring us the next Starckast. It's still loading, so I'll just give you a review of the ringing in my ears.
AAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUGHHHHHH! MAKE THE GODDAMNED RINGING STOP! PLAY NOW! I NEED SOUND OR MY HEAD WILL BLEED!
"Do you have any shame?????" "No."
Excellent.
My podcast is now up-to-date. Please, vote for someone else on Podcast Alley as I really don't give a damn about rankings. I do this for the children. For the children!
Podictionary highlights "geezer" today. If there were a good podcast I'd parody, this would be it.
The word for today is "crap." Um... heh. It's a funny word.
(More to come)
One of the more foaming-at-the-mouth liberals here was muttering something about Fahd being dead and his son taking over.
Amazing how ignorant liberals can be, eh?
Who cares what I think about King Fahd's death? It's time for a new feature of TBIFOC called Ask The Cats!
What do you think about King Fahd's death?
 Frisky: ULULULULULULULULU! |  Nardo: ULULULULULULULULU! |
 Piper: ULULULULULULULULU! |  Indy: Mmmmmmmmm... breakfast! |
 Cabernet: Is it Christmas yet? |  Chicago: King Fahd? What is it and can I eat it? *sniffs* |
 Random Cat: Is he going to push up these daisies? |  Tripper: ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ Newport: ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ Finster: If I answer, do I get food? |
 Phoebe: Did you know that Soylent Green is people!? |  Eno: Did he leave me any string in his will? Cheap bastard. |
 Lady In Red: I just read that he was Minister of Education. That's a laugh. I'll bet he didn't even know how to skritch a cat properly. (Mmmm, that feels wonderful. More, please.) | does your cat think? |
Thank you, kittycats.
Does your cat have an opinion on the subject? Then send the following to askthecats (at) isfullofcrap.com:
And you'll see them up here with the rest of the kittycats!
(Don't forget that there will be at least EIGHT Ask The Cats for your cats to play along with during the Blogathon!)
No, Momma, that wasn't a hot flash. That was just Hell burning a tad hotter.
Dear Yasser,
First you, now Fahd.
I'm so worried for Casey Kasem.
Love,
Kofi
Your Moosey Fate has this week's Carnival of the Cats. Thanks for hosting it this week, Gir. Although... we want more spooky-eyed Tuxedoes like Mischief!
Well, except for Piper. She doesn't want more Tuxedoes. She wants more carrots...
As I've stated before, the next Carnival will be here on Sunday to finish off my Blogathon run this weekend.
Use Ferdy's form to submit entries, or send them via email to submissions (at) carnivalofthecats.com.
The Democrats of the Senate refused to put John Bolton to a vote according to the rules of the Senate, so President Bush used a perfectly-legal recess appointment to install him at the United Nations.
Not that you'd notice from the screams of the Democrats of the Senate, the leftist aspects of the MSM, etc and so on.
How is one action "illegal" and the other "legal?"
How is one action "moral" and the other "amoral?"
How is one action "democratic" and the other "anti-democratic?"
Each is allowed within the law. And each action isn't what would happen if this were a Perfect World.
But it gets the job done.
BREAKING NEWS (RIYADH) - After several months of delays, King Fahd of Saudi Arabia is leaving the hospital in stable condition.
The PLO has been screaming for decades for schools, roads, housing, new textbooks, hospitals, and basic essential community services.
So, the moment they get a commitment for NINE BILLION DOLLARS over the next three years from the G-8 and not their "generous" rich Arab and Islamic neighbors, what do they make with it?
Flags.
Hats.
Shirts.
The next time they lie to us about not having enough money for the essentials of life when they waste our donated resources with this garbage, we need to tell them to piss off and GO EAT FLAG!
Camera #2 is out of focus because that's what happens to it over the weekend.
Camera #3 seems to be a tad out of alignment after I plugged in a new desk lamp in that room. I'll adjust it tonight.
Camera #4 has a large shelf in front of it. I picked it up from IKEA on Sunday and we're painting it tonight. It will eventually replace the armoire.
When the painted shelves go in place, I may experiment again with a camera pointed to the food and Frisky's sleeping spot.
Note to the people bringing professional soccer to Houston: "Free Knife Day" may be a bad promotional idea.
But then, most Hispanics are Catholics and can't use birth control, so I guess a knife will do in a pinch.
And you thought that your own school system sucked... here's one with serious issues...
The teacher could not believe what he overheard. The "visiting" imam was launching into a tirade against the Jews and Americans that bordered on the ludicrous.But then came the clincher, he recalled. "The imam told the students that the Jews were putting poison in the bananas and they should not eat them."
Yes, it's true. Edloe died from eating a poisoned Zionist banana.
Damn those evil banana-poisoning Zionists!
Watch out! He's on the loose!
Run for your lives!
Too late!
So rich in potassium when eaten, so deadly when attacked with one!
LONDON (IFOC) - Oil prices surged over $61 per barrel today on the news of Saudi Arabian King Fahd's death.
"Fahd was the perfect stabilizing factor in the oil markets," said one commodities expert. "Compared to all the maniacs there are in the world sitting on oilfields, a brain-dead Arab vegetable was quite possibly the best manager they could come up with to handle their production quotas over the past forty years."
Pressure has been mounting on the Saudi Arabian Royal Family to appoint a similarly-incapacitated individual to head up the Kingdom and maintain the limp-handed approach to controlling the oil markets.
"We'd even settle for Fahd's corpse at this point," said the head of the London Exchange Branch. "Just as long as they don't get any bright ideas like they had in 1973, we'll pay anything as long as there's something still there to buy."
A little something about Fahd that set off my Irony Detector:
EDUCATION: Elementary school only, with heavy emphasis on religion.POLITICAL CAREER: Became Saudi Arabia's first minister of education in 1953,
A guy with grade-school education in charge of education.
And they still called it the founding of "Modern" Saudi Arabia.
The False Statements Accountability Act, 18 U.S.C. § 1001, makes it a felony to issue knowingly and willfully false statements to the United States Congress.
So, when will steroid-using Rafael "I have never used steroids. Period." Palmerio be arrested?
And how long will Congress chew on him to avoid getting any other useful work done?
Dear Yasser,
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Love,
Kofi
PS: I'm moving my office to the basement so the United States and Israel can have the top ten floors of the headquarters building. Let's see him try to demolish the bottom ten floors without a doctorate in Islamic Studies!
BALTIMORE (IFOC) - Baltimore Orioles veteran slugger Refael Palmerio was still at 2,999 injections of anabolic steroids today as Major League Baseball suspended him to taking the banned substance.
"I'm trying hard to get into the 3,000 Injection Club with Mark [McGwuire] and Sammy [Sosa], but it looks like the Powers That Be are doing their best to keep me from reaching that milestone," said Palmerio through his agent. "I've even lied to Congress to get to this point, but it seems this just won't be enough."
Several baseball authorities claim that Palmerio has injected substances other than anabolic steroids into his system at times, inflating his numbers. However, Palmerio denies these claims as well.
"When I was on the juice, it was all juice," said the slugger. "No saline or blood-doping for me. Just pure juice."
Baseball's Hall Of Fame has yet to rule on whether Palmerio's 2,999th needle would merit inclusion into the Hall's massive collection should he fail to reach the vaunted 3,000 mark.
My apologies to...
You know, one of the greatest terror-supporters ever to tour the United
States was the King of Saudi Arabia or King Fahd!
(King Fahd)
(King Fahd)
Now when he was a young man,
He'd never thought he'd see,
(King Fahd)
People stand in line,
To see the dead king.
(King Fahd)
How'd you get so chunky?
(Funky Fahd)
Now you're smelling funky.
(Born in Al-Riyadh, called for the jihad, King Fahd)
(King Fahd)
Now if I'd known,
They'd line up to replace him,
(King Fahd)
I'd've had Abdullah killed,
If only I could face him.
(King Fahd)
He's my favorite Saudi,
(Funky Fahd)
Buried in an Audi!
(Born in Al-Riyadh, called for the jihad, King Fahd)
Issuing denials,
(Disco dancing)
Conducting murder trials,
(Fox Fahd)
Couldn't walk a mile,
(Rockin' Fahd)
He owned a lot of rials.
He gave his life for Wahabbism.
(King Fahd)
(Fahd, Fahd. Fahd, Fahd . . .)
Oil reserves!
He's an islamist!
Boy, won't he be pissed.
(King Fahd)
Now when I die,
Now don't think I'm a fraud.
(King Fahd)
Don't want no fancy funeral,
Just one like old King Fahd.
(King Fahd)
He could'a won a Nobel,
(King Fahd)
Tearing down the Kotel.
(Born in Al-Riyadh, called for the jihad, he was born in Al-Riyadh)
And killed by the Mossad. . .
(King Fahd)
It's time once again for some Adventures With George.
Ready? Here we go!
BUSH: GET OFF OF MY LAWN! GET OFF OF MY LAWN! GET OFF OF MY LAWN!
DONALDSON: Mister President...
BUSH: Take that piece of sod off of your head and put it back where it belongs!
DONALDSON: This isn't a hairpiece...
BUSH: LIAR!
BUSH: We are gathered here to join this couple in holy matrimony...
CONDI: WHAT?
BUSH: Gotcha!
BOLTON: *whew*
BUSH: Don't laugh just yet. You'll be kissing a black man's ass soon enough.
BOLTON: I think I'll be kicking it, Sir.
BUSH: That's my boy!
BUSH: I was thinking of having these two fight, but Don King wasn't available to promote the event.
KING: Only in America!
BUSH: Heh.
KING: Only in America!
THOMAS: Mister Preside-
BUSH: Hey, Helen. Dick says he's running for my office in 2008!
THOMAS: Aaaaaaaaaaack!
BUSH: Heh.
KING: Only in America!
BUSH: Sure, John's ability to work with others will be severely hampered by this recess appointment, but since when has he been able to work with others?
BOLTON: Um...
BUSH (whispers) Work with me here, John.
BOLTON: No!
BUSH: That's my boy! Anyway, I love this man like... like... Condi, what's Jeb again?
CONDI: Governor of Florida?
BUSH: I love this man like a Governor of Florida.
BUSH: Now if the press has any questions...
ALL (chaotic) Mister President...
BUSH: Shove 'em up your asses. Nobody questions me!
BOLTON: Oh, Christ.
BOLTON: First off, to the owner of a Ford Focus with license plate "6E RUNT" - your lights are on.
THOMAS: Aaaaaaaackkk!
BOLTON: Oh, and your car's on fire and you're a total hag, too.
THOMAS: Aaaaaaaackkk!
BUSH: Heh.
BOLTON: No, my mustache cannot be detached and used as a laser-boomerang. Next?
BOLTON: No, I don't want to destroy the top ten floors of the UN building anymore. Now I want to raze the whole thing to the ground. With my bare hands.
BUSH: YEE-HAW!
BUSH: I really showed those turkeys who's boss.
DONALDSON: Mister President...
BUSH: HAVE THAT MAN KILLED!
Just in case you missed it:
ARAB NEWS: Prisoners Get Amnesty as Fahd ImprovesJEDDAH, 29 July 2005 — The health of Custodian of the Two Holy Mosques King Fahd has improved, an official source at the Interior Ministry said yesterday.
To mark the king’s recovery, Crown Prince Abdullah has pardoned several common law prisoners who will be released soon, the Saudi Press Agency quoted the source as saying.
The pardoned prisoners include individuals who do not constitute any danger to general security or the regime, and who represent the largest majority of prisoners in the country.
The pardon excluded those convicted for major crimes including individuals who have been sentenced or awaiting sentencing under Shariah law. Those benefiting from the pardon should undertake not to commit a crime after being released and if they did so they will serve the period they have been pardoned for in addition to the prison term they receive for any crime committed after the pardon.
Do these people go back to jail now that the scam about King Fahd's improving health has been exposed?
Running four catcams doesn't seem so crazy now.
Someone asked:
Will you be doing any 100 Word Stories during the Blogathon?
Well, I know I'm going to do at least two for 100 Words Or Les Nessman that I'll record and link to.
However, I'll probably be focusing on catblogging, updating Ask The Cats, assembling the Carnival of the Cats, and the news of the day. So it may be somewhat difficult for me to put the usual amount of effort into any 100 word stories, but I'll see if any come to mind in the wee hours of the newsless night.
Oh, and pledges are still coming in... thanks to everyone that's pledged and don't forget to let me know your URL to link to and an address to send the Edloe pics and CDs if you're interested in those.
My wife decided at 6:30PM or so last night she didn't feel like going to Ikea to pick up the shelves we needed to replace the armoire. She was in the middle of a thorough exorcism and cleaning of the kitchen, so I went on my own.
It took me an hour to match up the shelves, to obtain them, and to check out. By the time I got back down to Home Depot, they had been closed for 5 minutes.
I should have gone and gotten the spraypaint first.
The shelves were assembled quickly and left in front of the Tissue Cam for the day. Not like there's room anywhere else for them yet but the spot they need to go, and that's piled high with all the stuff that needs to go on the shelves when they're ready.
See?
Anyway, I pick up the spraypaint on the way home today. I've got four cans of the stuff, and I'm finishing can #2. I think I've got enough, but there's always the possibility of getting more cans.
She asked for three. I got four. We both may be wrong.
Go figure.
Anyway, I'm going to run through the surfaces not covered with newspaper, let it dry for a bit, then tilt the sucker up and spray the rest.
We'll finally have shelves to replace the armoire.
But we'll never replace the Grumpus Cave.
I really hope it doesn't rain like the radar says it will. I wish we'd have gotten the shelves on Saturday and painted during the Disastros game on Sunday like I kinda planned.
Shucky darn.
I know what it's like to be stalked by a grumpy, treat-demanding 20+ pound cat, but this is somewhat disturbing...
A big cat dubbed the Moorland Beast has been unmasked as an overweight pet. Residents in East Ogwell, near Newton Abbot, have reported several recent sightings of a panther-like creature prowling the streets. One resident reported seeing "a black feline at least 2ft 6in tall" stalking fields on the edge of the village.However, retired teacher Mike Healy, 66, believes the monster is his 28lb pet cat, Sebastian. He was alerted when his neighbour told him of the beast prowling fields 200 yards from his home.
"It had to be Sebastian," he said. "The thing is, he is larger than a domestic cat, and he does move differently. He slinks around like John Wayne playing a gunslinger. But as for being a dangerous animal, that's absurd. The only time he's a danger is when he lies on you."
I'm sure my wife would agree with that:
Edloe still thought she was a lapcat, even to the end of her days. And my wife had a bruise or two from Edloe-induced circulation issues.
Making me increasingly thankful that Paul Wellstone's pilot suffered from incredibly bad judgement and that the Democratic Party can't tell the difference between a funeral and a campaign rally, Minnesota Senator Norm Coleman is blasting attempts by the United Nations to take control of various core-level operations of the Internet away from various American-controlled organizations and corporations:
"My probe of the U.N. as Chairman of the Permanent Subcommittee on Investigations revealed management that was at best, incompetent, and at worst corrupt," said Coleman. "The first priority for the United Nations must be fundamental reform of its management and operations rather than any expansion of its authority and responsibilities. The Internet has flourished under U.S. supervision, oversight, and private sector involvement. This growth did not happen because of increased government involvement, but rather, from the opening on the Internet to commerce and private sector innovation. Subjecting the Internet and its security to the politicized control of the UN bureaucracy would be a giant and foolhardy step backwards.""Recently, I introduced UN reform legislation with the Chairman of the Senate Foreign Relations, Senator Dick Lugar (R-IN), known as the Coleman-Lugar UN Reform Bill, to help put an end to a culture of corruption that was exposed by the Oil for Food scandal, peacekeeping sexual abuse scandals, and other instances of organizational failures at U.N.," Coleman said. "Putting the U.N. in charge of one of the world's most important technological wonders and economic engines is out of the question. This proposal would leave the United States with no more say over the future of the Internet than Cuba or China-countries that have little or no commitment to the free flow of information."
"In light of this report, I also plan to consult with experts and stakeholders regarding Internet governance, and will assess whether legislation is needed as a remedy," Coleman continued. "The U.S. is willing to work with other countries that have an interest in the management of their own country code domains but UN control is out of the question. We will continue a dialogue with the rest of the world on these issues as we go forward."
Don't bother me with the icky details. I've read through them all, and the UN's hatred of Western ideals is eclipsed only by its incompetence in implementing that hatred.
All it takes to demonstrate that incompetence is a peek at the bottom of The United Nations homepage.
It says "Copyright, United Nations, 2004."
Would you trust them with the rest of the Internet with that lazy attitude?
Who cares what I think about deadly poisoned Zionist bananas? It's time for a new feature of TBIFOC called Ask The Cats!
What do you think about deadly poisoned Zionist bananas?
 Frisky: Is that a deadly poisoned Zionist banana? Keep that banana away from me! Bad banana! |  Piper: Do Zionists poison iced tea, too? |
 Nardo: This is why I don't eat bananas. I eat lizards instead. They are full of lizardy goodness. And as smart as Zionists are, they have yet to invent a poisoned lizard. |  Matata: Screw bananas - the Zionists haven't figured out how to poison strawberries yet. |
 Tigerboots: Deadly poisoned Zionist bananas? Somebody's gone bananas, I think... Hey! Do you 'spose they circumcised them first??? Is that how you tell the deadly poisoned Zionist ones from the regular ones? It makes you wonder, doesn't it? |  Divine Miss Marilyn: Deadly poisoned Zionist bananas? Now what'll I eat with the leftover milk from Mom's cereal bowl? |
 Her Ladyship: Zionist bananas? That's nothing! Zionist cats are much more dangerous. Especially when they're connected to their native soil, and particularly when they're just waking up. | does your cat think? |
Thank you, kittycats.
Does your cat have an opinion on the subject? Then send the following to askthecats (at) isfullofcrap.com:
And you'll see them up here with the rest of the kittycats!
(Don't forget that there will be at least EIGHT Ask The Cats for your cats to play along with during the Blogathon!)
It looks like the idea of Ten And Only Ten is catching on slowly.
It's also mutating slightly - the call for readers to challenge the list-writer to either replace a blog on the list or explain why they won't add it has gone from active to passive, since comments appear to be open on both of these specimens to allow people to discuss the links selected or ask why not some other links. However, those that have taken the ball and run with this meme are significantly less confrontational and prone to fits of uncivil blog-behavior as I am.
Of course, the meme's also detached from its roots like all memes do:
Steve Rubel has started a new meme listing his top 10 blogs.
Heh. And I find this fascinating, not frustrating as the originator. It's always interesting to see where a meme starts, amplifies, disconnects, and the moment when it sparks and takes on a life of its own.
Try doing the exercise yourself. Look down your entire blogroll and tell yourself "I can only read ten blogs" and pick those ten.
It's not easy. Some questions you end up asking yourself:
Or did you ask yourself other questions?
If you find that this is an easy process, I don't think you've done it right. If you're comfortable with your list, you're not reading and enjoying enough blogs - this exercise should make you uncomfortable and force you to both choose and eventually challenge your decision-making processes.
It got really hard for me when I got down to 23, and I was asking myself "Which one can I remove from my list and lose the least amount of blog-enjoyability?"
This time around, I swapped quite a few around until I felt the least uncomfortable about the list.
One of the recent 10bloggers has started a technorati tag of 10blogs to collect up additional examples of this difficult meme.
Now, Technorati says they'll tag things based on categories. However, I'm tempted to kludge something up to use my Keywords field, but I'd have to roll up my sleeves on find the right code for "If it's empty, don't print the Technorati tag" because I'm such a stickler for neatness. Or the right plug-in.
Guy opens a ticket asking for help with a particular mailbox. Password isn't working.
Technician writes back asking what the password is for that particular mailbox.
Guy responds, completely bewildered. What do you mean by needing a password for that mailbox?
It's like telling the doctor that your right leg hurts, they ask to see your leg, and you say "Why do you need to see my leg?"
Crazy people!
Another guy whines that load on his cheap-as-shit, bottom-of-the-line server is too high.
A technician looks at it. Yup. It's high. Both processor and memory are gasping and wheezing.
Looking back at his history, he's been trying to squeeze Porsche characteristics out of this Yugo for over a year. And he's been told he's maxed out, but he refuses to admit it and keeps putting more sites on the thing.
He's told once again. He responds by saying we did nothing for him.
It's like going to a clothing store, buying a pair of pants, putting on a hundred pounds, then going back to the store to bitch about the pants no longer fitting.
"These don't fit anymore. I'm having problems putting them on, and I've started to get sores all over my ass, thighs, and legs from them being too tight. Make them fit."
"You need a bigger size."
"No I don't, these pants fit me just fine before. So you must be able to do something to make them fit again. You're not helping me! Help me now or I'll yell to have you fired!"
Why is it that demands that would be utterly insane and divorced from the basic laws of cause-and-effect in any other context seem justified and reasonable in the virtual world? Do people just look at this shit as Voodoo and think that sacrificing a few chickens will make it work all of the sudden?
You know, I bookmark these and check in on them every so often, just to see how many passengers on that server get trashed when the engine blows. Also, I get a sick little thrill when they've been warned that the thing is about to blow sky-high and they've never made backups.
I guess it's the same way with The Dead Pool. Some celebrities you stop watching for what they used to do with their talents but keep watching for their talent to completely screw themselves up. Or, as Uncle Guido used to say "Gregory Hines was an excellent tap-dancer and he had the sense to stay out of minefields."
The newly-painted shelves are in place. They're also braced to the wall. The upstairs neighbors who clog-dance at 02:30 apparently don't like a minute's hammering of nails and thumbs at 21:30.
We emptied the pantry and the spice-cabinet in the kitchen and found lots of things that had somehow fallen to the back of each cubbyhole. Gravity must work sideways in such spaces, pulling the oldest stuff to the back over time.
Found some olives from the previous century. A few cans of evaporated milk that were on the verge of exploding. I don't remember ever needing evaporated milk.
The most annoying things are the jars or cans that don't have expiration dates. Are these the things that people can eat after civilization collapses and roving bands of marauding leatherbound survivor-warriors engage in nothing but scavenging and turning ordinary motor vehicles into ultra-fast death machines?
I don't eat things that lack expiration dates. Of course, I still buy them, but if I can't recall buying something that lacks an expiration date, I'm reluctant to eat it.
Then there's the stuff I keep telling myself "I'll make some of this tomorrow or in a week" and never get around to making it. That's more of a fridge kind of thing, looking over the mold-covere dpackage of strawberries or completely-mushified container of roasted and peeled garlic.
One set of shelves will be for rarely-used appliances and implements while the other set of shelves is mostly for pantry goods that don't need to be right there in the kitchen. The blender-food processor are on the shelves while the bread machine is still in the kitchen.
The ice-cream maker, which hasn't been used since... um... I think I made something with it a month after the wedding - that ended up with the several large bags of trash.
I'm sure there will be a few more things that end up tossed before this exercise is over. And, yes, I'm taking pictures of the process.
Just bailed out of a so-called "training" session for some new software.
Utterly useless. The droning "trainer" went off on billing and account information for an hour that none of us will ever need to use, diagnose, or remotely be interested in for sheer curiosity's sake either.
I've already gone through their documentation and found several really huge freaking stop signs that, if I were in a position to judge this software worthy of purchase or reselling, I'd more likely purchase ice cubes for my Eskimo tribe.
The worst part is that the trainer seemed proud that the developers were using "highly-customized" versions of the standard components for Linux. Because, as we all know, customers never try to RPM the general releases down into their servers and try to make them fit, thus blowing everything to Downtown Shitsville.
I figure this stuff will be dropped into place, customers will run into horrendous configuration issues from the images that are burned and distributed, and everyone's going to run in perfect little circles screaming.
If you're a frequent contributor to Ask The Cats and you plan on re-using a photo for , please be aware that I am in the process of alphabetizing the gallery to make it easier to find your already-submitted cat photos.
Gallery doesn't make this process easy. I wonder if 2.0 will make it any easier to manipulate archives.
A dumbass from the Anatolian peninsula is whining about getting access to the files on his server.
Well, is your server up? Is your Internet connection working? Are you using FTP or...
Nope. He closed his account.
But he still wants access to all the files on his server.
Why didn't you take files off and then cancel your account, dumbass? Or if you knew you couldn't pay for the next month, why didn't you pull the files off before the server was locked out due to non-payment?
Or, as Uncle Guido would say: "If you pay for a whore for an hour, don't go asking to fuck her after the hour's up without paying for another hour."
The so-called Palestinian Police are preparing to take over patrols of Gaza once the IDF leaves...
Love your pants, boys. Planning on storming Sea World or something?
Here, three Palestinian policemen train on how to properly threaten a shopkeeper to get the maximum amount of protection money out of him possible.
I guess he didn't offer enough of a bribe. It's off to the organ harvesters!
Here they are, wandering through the fields with large clear shields. How pretty they look!
Red alert! Raise shields! Cower unthreateningly!
IDF Drone! No... wait... it's just a bird.
Well, we're up to $1,800 in pledges for the Blogathon. Almost twice as much has been pledged to the Cat Welfare Society of Israel in this campaign than any other single campaign.
In addition to pledging your support for the Cat Welfare Society, you can also sign their petition demanding that the cats of Gaza and Northern Samaria be rescued and not abandoned, neglected, or murdered. However, we all know what petitions amount to in the Real World, so your financial support through this Blogathon campaign or on your own is more likely to yield a tangible result.
Of course, the organizers are trying to help spotlight a few other those worthy campaigns, one of which is Manic Theory's campaign for the Susan G. Komen Foundation. They're plugging a Boobie-A-Thon, which makes me wonder if my own planned catblogathon means I'm plugging a pu-
Never mind. I've resisted that cheap joke for traffic in the past, and I'll continue (to try) to resist it in the future.
Today was my turn to pick the theme, or so I learned at 06:00 today. The rotation's really goofy these days, but I keep an eye on the headlines for relevant words with multiple meanings to play with.
Hey, is it just my imagination, or is 100 Words Or Les Nessman winding down a bit?
Maybe everybody's just busy doing other things or something. August is the perfect time of the year to... um... build and spraypaint shelved to stack all your foodstuffs on that you wind up throwing out anyway because they're all expired.
In the meantime, the podcast of the stories I write for there is still going strong. I'll try to avoid empty days over there by writing a few evergreen stories to slip in now and then.
After over two years with the same ass-breakers just rotated around the building, a shipment of new office chairs have finally arrived.
This is going to piss off the people who were told "If you don't like the chairs we provide for you, go buy your own" "informal" policy that was in place for the longest time.
If you're wondering about my first impressions with this new chair, they are: my left ass-cheeck and my right ass-cheek on the chair.
When I leaned back a bit, the back pad didn't break loose from the post and ram me in the spine. Nor is the seat mysteriously lowering and raising due to hydraulic instability.
In the end, I'm sure that this will be the basis of the excuse for no raises, no bonuses, etc.
Oh, and there's a new "incentive plan" for points for employees. Based on the amount given out per year of service, you have to work 27 years to earn the coffeemaker I just recently bought, 52 years to earn a bottom-of-the-barrel MP3 player, and 164 years for a rather featureless 24" television set.
Based on the Big Three's reluctance to switch to HDTV, I believe you'll get the set just as they start to phase out analog signals.
Oh, and the easiest years-to-dollars comparison is the $25 gift card to Sharper Image... available after 12 years of loyal service.
Now there's supposed to be offers of points here and there as time goes by, but the amount of points rewarded for time already served just reinforces the prevailing feeling that we are all just the unlucky, unmotivated, or miscreant dregs of IT caught in some kind of Employment Hell drain-trap.
As we all know by now, camera #2 goes out of focus constantly and I forget to focus it when I get home.
However, sometimes an out-of-focus shot is a good thing:
It's Super Action Cat 3000!
TROY, MI (IFOC) - NASA has announced that it will join the group of auto manufacturers currently a part of the Onstar service.
"Because of the increasing need for in-flight service, we decided that Onstar would be the best motorist assistance program value for the dollar for future missions," said NASA Administrator Michael Griffin. "We should be able to yank out three quarters of the mission control staff and save a few bucks in the end."
Here is a transcript from a recent test session with the current orbiter, STS-114 Discovery:
ONSTAR: Hello, this is Onstar.MISSION SPECIALIST SMITH: I'm locked out of the airlock and I need to be let back in.
ONSTAR: Is the pressure equalized on both sides?
MISSION SPECIALIST SMITH: Yes, and the inner door is sealed, too. My baby's trapped in there alone!
ONSTAR: Okay, I'll go ahead and send the unlock signal.
MISSION SPECIALIST SMITH: Thank you.
ONSTAR: Thank you for using Onstar
NASA is still working on the details of a contract with AAA for inflight repairs and towing.
Well, Bush appointed Bolton to the post of Ambassador to the United Nations yesterday, and not less than 24 hours later he's in Occupied Turtle Bay making friends and influencing people...
GARANG: Ungh *click* *pop* Gurr
KOFI: Yes, you can eat his liver, but I get to eat his heart.
GARANG: *click* *pop*
KOFI: Shit, he's here! Act natural
GARANG: *click* *pop* Gurr
BOLTON: Suck my balls, Kennedy! Hah!
BOLTON: Man, I forgot how bad it smells here. 191 nations and just one bar of soap.
KOFI: Aren't you going to shake hands with me?
BOLTON: I'd sooner stick my hand in a lion's mouth, you slimy jackass.
KOFI: Racist!
BOLTON: You'll steal my watch, you thief!
BOLTON: Here's my credentials.
KOFI: I want my handshake.
BOLTON: Okay, they're not my credentials. They're a set of photos of your son Kojo sucking off a mule.
KOFI: Like this is new to me. Who do you think took the pictures, stupid?
BOLTON: Happy now?
KOFI: Tremendously.
BOLTON: Is there a sink anywhere near here?
KOFI: Right over in that direction.
BOLTON: That's an empty hole in the wall.
KOFI: Just stick out your hands and wait for the Rain Gods to come.
BOLTON: Have you ever heard of indoor plumbing?
KOFI: We're still voting on it in the General Assembly.
BOLTON: Well, I guess I should start knocking those top ten floors now. Who's got a sledgehammer?
KOFI: Bastard!
BOLTON: Well, this was a hoot. So, when does Trump remodel this dump?
Which is better, getting First Place or a Dishonorable Mention?
I think I'm prouder of the Amanpour crack, to tell the truth.
The geniuses in the Palestinian Space Program are at it again:
Three Kassam rockets fired at Sderot during Tuesday night's rally killed a three year-old Palestinian boy and wounded nine other Palestinian children when they fell short and landed in the northern Gaza town of Beit Lahiya.
Mahmoud Abbas isn't doing jack squat to stop these rocket attacks. If these rockets had to hurt anyone, if only they'd hurt those among his band of thugs and thieves pretending to be a political party...
Among the wounded were five children, aged four to 11, including four children of Hisham Abdel Razek, a senior official in the ruling Fatah party and a former Palestinian Cabinet minister. Abdel Razek's wife was also wounded.
Somehow, Razek will find a way to blame the Jews instead of his own incompetence and laziness as part of the corrupt thugocracy swindling the world.
Makes you wonder where Bram Stoker got the idea for vampires not being able to see themselves in mirrors, eh.
This is usually when I post the usual "Who Screwed Roger Clemens" but the entire team could gang-rape him with errors and incompetence tonight and he'd still get a win off of the hapless Arizona Diamondbacks.
So put your Roger Clemens Bingo cards away for the night and just enjoy.
UPDATE:
Aside from some quiet bats early on and Brad Ausmus hitting worse than Steve Martin and Dan Akyroyd's Wild And Crazy Guys on SNL, pretty good effort.
Lidge was damned lucky that Bruntlett was on fire in right field. Thank God that Berkman was on 1st base for that.
Islamic Jihad says they won't give up the Palestinian Space Program.
Good. Maybe more children of high-ranking Fateh officials will get wounded and killed, sparking the civil war that Gaza needs to clear away a huge layer of accumulated scum, grime, and concentrated evil.
Like this:
"Ah, the magnificeent Fatehtortoise crawls aloong the beesh, laying eets eggs and covering them up before heading back to the embrass of zee oshunn..."
Meanwhile, Gaza surfers threaten to Cowabunga Masada.
Oh, and the Jap president of the UN Security Council says August is going to be a light month. Never mind that Sharon's Disengagement ends the occupation of Gaza, which the Security Council has been going utterly celebrity-obsessed batshit bugfuck over for 38 years. Nope. Nothing to see here. Light month. Just the first step in what might be the realization of the UN's plans to obliterate Israel once and for all, a mad African savage wrecking the homes of a million of his political enemies, Haiti turning into a chaotic shitpile in the hands of the French, and China's simmering plans to obliterate Taiwanese democracy.
Kinda makes you wish that Truman had a few more nukes in 1945 to drop on the sword-waving bastards, eh?
Must be a part of their campaign for UNSC permanency or something. "We can be even more myopic than the faded European powers! See? Look how squinty we are!"
Good. They can have France's seat. Just have it steam-cleaned.
Well, Dwight (who is not all that evil) provided the spark, and the Ten And Only Ten meme is spreading and mutating quite nicely.
Some observations:
Jeff Clavier had a hard time whittling things down with a blogroll as large as mine, and he also starts up a variant based on podcasts: 5pods. I would most certainly include Israellycool on that list when I write it, although can one truly separate a podcast from a blog that it's highly integrated with?
Syntagma ignores the "don't include any blog you write for" rule I imposed on myself. I was wondering how long it would be before I saw that variant.
60k demonstrates another theory of mine... as you limit the number of blogs, you start to fill "roles" for each blog. Sort of like position-players in limited-roster sports. The Albuquerque blog he lists fills the "local scuttlebutt" role.
France! Interesting to see if anything has been lost in translation... not from the Stygmata instance it seems.
Jarvis makes observations about A-lists. He's looking at the elephant from another perspective, but will he do the exercise?
Blogfresh picks up a few entertaining sites like PostSecret and 10by10. Hrm... information vs. entertainment? Infotainment?
Fancy Storebought Dirt shows that people's tastes change over time with his mention of Michele, Cuban, and Olberman. Yeah, I've noticed that a few have altered or dropped off. There's two on my lists that's likely not to be there next time I do this if they continue going the way they're going. (And I consider Althouse and Instapundit redundant - redundancies in a limited list? Interesting.)
Suburbia 75 lists his own blog. If you're going to an Island, which I never really stated (I assumed that you're in a workplace with limited access and your RSS feeder can only get so much in, why ingest what you already know.
Odd. Where's the Lileks?
Guy Brighton breaks his list up into multiple category lists. Hrm... cheater! Now try to condense them into a single list and see which is the best fit for each role.
Pederson lists Flikrblog, which reminds me of an also-ran of my own list - Trillian's developer blog. If you're really into a product, you're likely to watch their developer blog, right? Or are you willing to pass on the blog and just wait for the downloads to pop up?
Austin Pauls observes that the list is subject to change at a moment's notice. Ah... let's see what 10 this person lists in a few months if they do it again. Also, I notice Mark Cuban's site there... someone else said they had dropped it over time. Are blogs seasonal in nature?
Inoperable Terran posts, but without links. Yeah, I could Google Search "Dr. Frank on Suicide Girls" but I'm a lazy man at heart.
How this thing is spreading and mutating is utterly fascinating. It makes me wish I'd stayed with Biology and had an opportunity to create my own pathogen to mercilessly release into the wild like those Hollywood movies.
Oh and I need to remove IMAO from my list in the next iteration because I've started posting one item a day there and I don't include sites I own or write for.
Frisky would like to thank each and every one of you for pledging your support to The Cat Welfare Society, but he's too busy attacking the feather...
It's rather hard to get a good action shot of Frisky because he camera slips out of focus, then his fur gets in the way of his face, he closes his eyes, etc. and so forth. I had to shoot 20 pictures to get this one.
Not that I mind taking them. Frisky needs his evening playtime because his usual playmate is gone and I'd rather he play and take a nap than mope. Maybe he'll do what Nardo does and grab feathers to let me know it's playtime, but Frisky's not quite the hunter-type and tends to just scamper and meow for food or butter-treats.
Manic Theory has gotten quite a few pledges after the spotlight on Blogathon's main page. Good. A worthy cause, hardly idiotarian at all in nature.
If Eason Jordan thinks he can get away with lying about U.S. troops targeting journalists in Iraq, what's to stop bloggers and independent journalists from lying about CNN and other MSM outlets from having paid for an assassin to kill Steven Vincent?
I figure this meme will spread just as far as my suggestion that the Palestinians blew up the Space Shuttle Columbia.
So, it looks like the once vaunted Condi Rice is slowly-but-surely becoming a target of Cox and Forkum's scorn. Justifiably so, too... I swear, I was expecting a Fisk-like response to the scuffle in Sudan.
Before, she was the hero, or at least a target of the moonbat liberals/Democrats portrayed in C&F cartoons.
Okay, I'd call the current cartoon an indirect shot at Condi, but it's just a matter of time before the pair makes a comparison between the pathetic appeasement policies "imposed" on Powell and Rice.
We'll see how Rice's unwelcome presence during Disengagement influences things. She's bound to say something stupid when the IDF shoots some Jihadis and Hamassholes in response to attacks on the departing caravans and demolition teams.
Well, now you know why ForecastFox switched to Accuweather.
I'm going to uninstall ForecastFox and install this Weather Channel thingy and see if I like it better. I turned off the useless radar frame on ForecastFox a while back in favor of this animation from the Chronicle in my Linkbar.
When Edloe would climb up on my wife's chair and dangle her tail from the armrest or over the back cushion, I'd call the resulting creature a "Kitty Butt Elephant."
Mac makes a fine Kitty Butt Elephant.
I have a Kitty Butt Elephant Song, too. It's pretty much "Kitty Butt Elephant" sung over and over again to the tune of the old song "Lollipop."
It's been a while since I last sung it. It's good to sing it again.
Dear Yasser,
Mauritania is lost to chaos and madness!
I awoke to the news, wet the bed, and then went to a mattress store to wet those beds as well.
If only Fahd were here