I know that certain feeds come with the expectations of certain colors, but sometimes the dyes and chemicals that convince us to put them in one end of our digestive tract can have unusual and disturbing consqeuences for the other end.
The local pizza joint has some good pizzas, but they also have excellent buffalo wings. Until I get in the habit of buying chicken wings at the store and grilling up my own, they'll do nicely for those evenings when my wife e-mails that she'll stop by Candelaris, is there anything I want from there.
One of the drawbacks of those buffalo wings is how darn tootin red they are. Red enough so that twenty-four hours later or so, a person who had blood in his crap a few months back winds uplooking down at the horror of redness in the toilet bowl again.
"It's just the buffalo wings... it's just the buffalo wings... it's just the buffalo wings..." he tells himself as he flushes. (I guess he's also telling the cat that hangs out in the bathroom with him during these trying times.)
So this is when the stricken neurotic heads to the kitchen and picks out the most color-bland neutral food there is. Or he just sticks to salad greens and liquids, waiting to see that it's just the buffalo wings, everything's normal, no reason to panic.
And, no, I'm not taking a picture.
Okay okay, I'm not posting one.
Comments (5)
I just wanted to compliment you on your comment at the Huffington Postwith the kid's letter to the paper.Ted Rall should be relieved that this kid doesn't draw cartoons
That's pretty darn funny.
Oh, and chicken wings don't make you crap red. You should probably use Charmin. It's easier on the bottom.
Posted by Veeshir | July 2, 2005 7:24 AM
Posted on July 2, 2005 07:24
Nothing neurotic about it, it's a scary thing to see. Especially in light of your history and the stress of the past week.
Let's hope it was the wings.
One time I bought a box of those "Boston Baked Beans" candies up at Disneyland and DH and I ate them on the ride home. We had the same results you're seeing and it took us a few minutes to figure out why it was happening to both of us, what could it be! Oh, yeah, that candy.
We haven't had any since.
Posted by lisaviolet | July 2, 2005 8:22 AM
Posted on July 2, 2005 08:22
S.T.Coleridge was fairly obsessed with fecal colors in his Notebooks, obviously convinced that he was ill. Green was favored overall, was my feeling, but he was into odd 18th century remedies like eating mercury so what can you expect.
Unfortunately Kathleen Coburn has not indexed these so I can't type in a few samples for you. She was something of a tight-ass, if you ask me.
Posted by Ron Hardin | July 2, 2005 10:41 AM
Posted on July 2, 2005 10:41
Um... er... okay...
Posted by Laurence Simon | July 4, 2005 7:45 AM
Posted on July 4, 2005 07:45
Huffington Post has comments?
What parallel universe have I returned to after being away from the internet for two weeks?
Posted by NF | July 6, 2005 2:22 AM
Posted on July 6, 2005 02:22