This Blog Is Full Of Crap

"You Bum!"

Twelve homeless people are picked up off the streets of various cities and forced to compete for food, shelter, and medical care.

Sick Maze: The bum must convince the VA that they're a veteran so they can get a full checkup.

"Yeah, I was in 'Nam... we were so hungry, we had to eat tunnel rats..." *bzzzzzzzzzzz*

Field of Food: Cans of food and a can opener are buried in a large field. The bums are given shovels and an hour to find the food. Unless, of course, they dig up a landmine.

Gimme Shelter: The bums answer questions to win refrigerator boxes, sytrofoam containers, sheets of plastic, and tent poles. They then get to build a shelter out of the materials the win. Once they've crawled inside them, firehoses are turned on to the shelters.

"What frequency is the government broadcasting the voices into your fillings?"
"Which kidney did surgeons remove from you while you slept, the left or right?"
"How many miles high is the satellite that's watching you?"

Get Wasted: Bums are offered a wide variety of household liquids. They need to drink enough alcohol to get legally drunk according to a high-performance breathalayzer. The problem? Some of the household liquids are poison. Read those labels carefully!

Fire! Fire!: All of the bums are lined up so that spoiled rich kids can dowse them with gasoline. Then they throw matches at them. The last one to drop and roll the flames out without dying wins.

Begging: All of the bums are given freeway underpasses to stand at and beg. Every day, the bum who makes the least amoung of money is removed from the rotation. The final two bums then fill socks with the money they've collected and beat each other in a fight to the death.